To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

The least the DI could've done was rung the doorbell, then while your son got ready he could've nipped to costa's for some coffee and croissants.

YABU. Your DS should be by the door, shoes on , ready to walk out as soon as the DI arrives. He needs to set however many alarms it takes to get him up.

DD gets up every single day at 6.15 to get a bus to college. She missed it once when it left 2 minutes early. I told her it was still her fault as she should be there 5 minutes early.

Your DS needs to learn responsibility for his own actions. It is annoying if your DH said he would wake him but didn't, but from now on, I would make DS completely responsible for himself. If he misses another lesson then stop them until he can learn how to get out of bed on time.

I think if you are old enough to learn to drive and capable of being in charge of a moving vehicle, you are probably going to manage to set an alarm.

Totally your DS fault. I’m laughing to myself at how you’re defending your DS. If he’s old enough and responsible enough to drive a car, then he should be able to manage to wake up when his alarm sounds. I’m guessing he’s too used to you or your DH calling him every morning until he does decide to get out of bed.

Your post makes no sense. You acknowledge that it’s your DS’s responsibility and then blame someone else when he fails in that responsibility.

I have a memory of a beep on the horn only thirty years ago.

Sometimes we need help. Alarms often don't wake kids/teens. Including smoke alarms too.

This is part of learning how to be an independent adult.
He’s not always going to have you or DH to do it for him.

He cannot be expected to have a phone call from his work, interviews, doctors, dentists etc every time he’s slept in.

This is no fault of the driving instructors, just like it wouldn’t be the fault of his workplace if he had overslept.

If he did not hear his alarm then he needs to have 2 alarms (I do this).

By helping him you don’t make excuses for him or put the blame on anyone else - that does not help in anyway.
Instead find ways to stop it happening again in the future.

If possible it might be worth looking out for lessons that are later in the day even if you have to wait for them to become available.

You’re angry at the wrong person. If he’d rung the doorbell, he wouldn’t have waited anyway.
Tell your DS to get a grip and pay you back for the lesson.

I get that it's DS' responsibility to be at the lesson,

There you go then it’s DS fault for not being awake not the driving instructors fault. DS knew he had a lesson so if he’s old enough to take said lesson he should be old enough to wake himself up in time for it. A text is fine because the student should be up, ready and looking out for the instructor.
Hopefully it’s a lesson learnt for him, lateness or no shows in life come with consequences

so when DL rang the bell, what then? What happens next in your scenario?

Mine has never come to the door, he calls to say he’s here

I'd say it's a cheap and valuable life lesson - if his parents play this correctly he'll understand that he needs to take responsibility for his actions and not try to blame others.

This will make him go far in life and the cost of this life lesson will seem trivial.

He/She is probably on a tight schedule though.Your DS is late /not ready.Next pupil misses out.Lesson for life here ,Be ready and waiting! Driving lessons and tests are at a premium here ( South Coast) probably similar elsewhere.

The instructor could have had a good reason for being late, roadworks etc. Your son had absolutely no excuse for being in bed when the instructor arrived. Didn’t he set an alarm?

We live rurally. I had to drive my teens to meet the driving instructor in the nearest town.
Expecting your ds to be ready and looking out for the DI to pick him up from home is surely common sense & good manners?

I had five different instructors in two different cities and they never rang the doorbell once.

yes it's illegal to do while stationary

Did the Driving Instructor drive away when your son didn't respond to his text?

As you paid for an hour of his time, I don't see why he just couldn't have sat outside your house for an hour. It was no skin of his nose if your son decided not to take advantage of the hour for whatever reason.

You had paid for the hour and I think the instructor should have waited for the hour, driving off on the second the hour was up.

With all 4 of my children who have learnt to drive, the instructor hasn’t ever knocked on the door. They keep an eye out from the window and the instructor texts or horns, but they’re usually out before that, as soon as they see the car. They wouldn’t ever be in bed at that time. They know how expensive lessons are and if they missed one because they were still in bed I would have told them they had to pay for their next 3 lessons themselves before I agreed to cover the cost of their lessons again.

Even if he rang the doorbell. Your son was ASLEEP. FFS OP this isn’t a driving instructor problem.

Sometimes we need help. Alarms often don't wake kids/teens. Including smoke alarms too

Then the doorbell was hardly likely to wake him up either. YABU. It's a shame he missed the lesson, and I get that teens can be hard to wake up sometimes (I have one such teen myself), but the only person to blame here is your DS. I hope you are not paying for his lesson for him, otherwise he's learnt nothing. Stop blaming the driving instructor.

Text the instructor and tell him you think he should have rung the bell. Let us know the response.

I remember waking up in a panic as my driving instructor beeped his horn outside our house to let me know he'd arrived for our lesson. I've misheard my mum when she told me the time (lessons booked as a birthday present) and so my alarm wasn't due for another hour.

I scrambled to get ready, apologised profusely to the instructor and was much more careful in future. I was a selfish idiot at 18 and even I realised it was my own fault.

Is it unreasonable for someone who has a driving lesson booked to get their arse out of bed and be ready on time?