To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

Of course he should knock or ring. Or call? What is wrong with people? He gets paid regardless.

I used to be a driving instructor. I didn’t mind ringing the bell, but in some places, it meant I’d be at risk of a parking ticket if I left the car, so I usually called a pupil’s phone to let them know I was there. With blocks of flats, sometimes the pupil had a long way to come to the car. I never relied on teenagers to keep their appointments - most of them had never done this in their lives; and incidentally, I found it was the wealthier ones who were often hopeless at life admin.

The first school I was with charged for cancellations, but also said “every effort will be made to contact the pupil”. So I did consider it my duty to ring the doorbell if it came to it. I hated charging for lessons that didn’t happen.

As for your DS being asleep, I quickly learned that if a pupil was five minutes out of bed, they were in no fit state to drive. I used to say to teenagers having morning lessons “get up in good time, and have some breakfast!”

Yes, that is also common sense, and I agree with everything you say, including that it's not the instructor's fault (or anyone else's, why would it be?).
But it can also be reasonable to walk a few paces and knock on, since you're there, at the same time. The same as it probably wouldn't be reasonable for the instructor to go ahead with the lesson if student was half asleep, or if the student was not going to be able to get ready, was not apologetic, etc.

At least finding out what's happening is reasonable imo but I'm obviously very very unreasonable by everyone else's standards. I stand by it! 😁

So you did say you wanted him to tell him off/give him a chance ? That is exactly what you meant. The DI text the boy wasn't up no curtesy knock required, if you have an an appointment you get yourself organised for it, regardless of being 17 no wonder people say "teenagers these days". Because of adults wanting to constantly coddle amd excuse them.

Driving instructors by nature of the job have to deal with a lot of teenagers, some of whom are lazy or not clued up yet, doubt they can be bothered to go round waking up all the teens who have overslept.

As your son was still asleep, you expect the driving instructor to sit there waiting while your son gets up, gets dressed, cleans teeth etc after he had woken him up!

Your son needs to make sure he is ready and waiting next time.

Derailing thread but my DD's instructor used to stroll around the garden in nice weather. However this one is absolutely on your DS. He should most definitely pay for it, even if you are funding lessons generally.

Don’t enable your son by making excuses for him

he wasn’t even up

Even if he’d rang the bell your son wouldn’t have been up and ready to go. I’d the instructor expected to wait until he gets up, has a wash, cleans his teeth and gets dressed?

Your son must be at least 17y. He owns a phone. He needs to set an alarm. He can’t be getting out of bed, having seconds before been woken up by others, and rolling into a driving lesson!

I am with the driving instructor on this one.

I had a driving instructor knock on my door, after I'd painstakingly arranged to meet them elsewhere. I didn't want people to know I was taking lessons - which I appreciate is a little unusual. But it really isn't their job to knock on a door, they're not a taxi. You arrange where to meet and you get in the car and you drive... YABU. I'm assuming you're paying as you're so upset? Your son owes you the cost of the lesson. And he needs to set an alarm clock.

YABU to keep them waiting so long!

When I had driving lessons 20 odd years ago the DI waited in the car and I was at the curb. If I was late, less time. This was before mobile phones as well. YABU.

Presumably if your DS was awake and ready to have a lesson at the agreed upon time he would have seen the text message the instructor sent. There’s no excuse for still being asleep in bed.

@NotTonightDeidre how long would you have expected DI to hang around whilst waiting for your DS to get up, dressed and wide awake enough for a driving lesson?

This in spades.
Your DS is going to have to learn some harsh lessons regarding timekeeping for work and how alarms work. Trying to excuse poor teenage behaviour really doesn’t help in terms of life as employers won’t put up with nonsense about not hearing alarms etc.

He’s old enough to get himself up and ready for an appointment. If you don’t believe he’s capable of that I would suggest he’s not mature enough to learn to drive.

Not what I said. I would have, out of courtesy, gave him a knock. I'd have then said you get that one for free but make sure you are up and ready next or something along them lines. Especially if I had been paid for a 2 hour lesson.

This, exactly 💯

No never. They always waited in their car.

You want a someone who is offering a service to tell her son off, Because the op paid for it is that what you are saying ?

Good Grief! Yes an expensive life lesson but one that should be for your DS !

Say the instructor did ring the doorbell - while your DS was sleeping, not preparing for the expected lesson. He would have been groggy and still half asleep when opening the door. Not the best state to be in on driving lesson number 3, is it?

Your DS was V unreasonable for not being at the very least conscious for his lesson at the time he scheduled it.

Who would go to sleep while waiting for driving instructor? I think your son is having you on.

@Tropicalturnip it's common sense for the customer to be ready for his appointment. Expecting the service provider to pander to him and sit in a confined space with an unwashed teenager? 🤢
Trying to place any kind of blame on the customers instructor and his father is not common sense.

Same thought crossed my mind!

I would never have expected my driving instructor to have come to get me. Their responsibility is to be there ready for the lesson and the learner should be ready and waiting to go.

OP is definitely focussing on the wrong issue here - the only person responsible for missing the lesson is OP's son.

Being asleep when the lesson was due to start?? If you're old enough to be in charge of a tonne of metal on the roads, you should be responsible enough to be able to get your arse out of bed in time for an appointment.