@ANDisayWhatsGoingon
I am speaking generally about the types of posts commonly posted here where people blame everyone and everything before stopping, for a short second, to think where the responsibility lies.
Teachers (not parents) generally get blamed (I'm a retired teacher) for the behaviour of children when it's completely the responsibility of parents to teach manners and responsibility to their own children before they attend a school setting. Schools used to do orientation meetings for parents which detailed what to expect from school staff and conversely what school staff expect from parents and children, as the relationship between schools and families is supposed to be mutually beneficial. I'm sure these still happen as both my daughters have attended them recently. So things such as being toilet trained, holding and using cutlery, having tissues or handkerchief and being able to blow/wipe your own nose, putting on coats and shoes, getting changed for PE, following instructions,
concentrating for periods of more than 10 minutes, saying - please thank you good morning goodbye. Being able to hold bladder until break times so parts of lesson not missed, saving time having to explain tasks again. Not turning up late. Reading books with your children. All little things that save time so that maximum teaching time can be achieved - therefore benefitting all the children.
Generally speaking, nowadays, today's parents (using all the cliches I can think of) expect other people, mainly teachers, to do these things for them. In other words, avoiding parenting and expecting other people to teach key life skills to their children.
The cliche, trotted out on bullying threads, 'my kid (goat?) ain't no angel (usually spelled angle) but ....' No one gives birth to angels. Behaviour is mainly learned from adults who should be modelling acceptable behaviours. At parents evenings, the behaviour of the child is always explained from how the parent/parents present.
My granddaughter's class have a day of going to school in PE kit because it must have taken the children most of the lesson to get changed into kit and then allowing same amount of time to get changed back - possibly only got 10 min slot for a lesson after needing adults to help 30 children change twice. Same class has six children in nappies (reception) - not talking about ND children (but having said that all 6 of my grandchildren are ND and were all dry at 24 months due to first grandchild's mum having the Oh Crap toilet training book and reading about the theory behind toilet training (which includes some ND studies, excluding physical issues). My generation were toilet trained by 18 months due to the faff of terry nappies, my children were trained at 2 so they could be left at playgroups/pre school who had rules about not being left until dry. This generation are being left until the children feel that they are ready - Oh no! They had three accidents before lunch - OMG I can't be bothered with all this mopping and my car seat is piss wet through, go back to pull ups they're not ready!
Children should be taught to be independent age appropriately. I attended an infant and then junior school - no one had a parent taking them or meeting them when school finished after the age of seven as children walked themselves to and from school in the juniors.
It also seems that today's parents can't even think about getting to school without carrying hot drinks in various containers and walking multiple dogs, at the same time as continually speaking to someone on their phones, instead of having conversations with their children, generally speaking. Parents parking in places outside school when they've repeatedly been asked not to. Parents monopolising teacher's time before and after school when they've repeatedly been asked not to as there are multiple other ways of instantly getting messages directly to teaching and office staff. Parents barging past teachers and physically hanging up their children's coats for them and accompanying their children into class despite being continually asked not to, in order to encourage independence. It's what I generally observe - I take grandchildren to school every day and it's more common than not. I'm not including perfect people such as you or other perfect people. Just speaking generally. It's a topic repeatedly turning up on public forums which parents take no notice of and do not learn from.
That's why OP's son couldn't be bothered to get out of his pit for a pre arranged appointment - no responsibility and no respect from a very young age.
I still blame the parents.
Grumpy old cliches like me are allowed to generalise and use cliches about the 'yoof' of today - as they always have done.
There are many elements of 'troof' in generalisations/cliches.