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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect a driving instructor to ring the doorbell?

314 replies

NotTonightDeidre · 07/04/2025 09:15

Just that really. DS missed a driving lesson this morning because he wasn't awake. The driving instructor text him to say he was outside. He didn't call his phone or ring our doorbell.

I get that it's DS' responsibility to be at the lesson, but if it were me I'd just ring/knock when it's a pick up from home.

Is it really that unreasonable to get out of the car & walk 10 steps to the front door?

OP posts:
proximalhumerous · 07/04/2025 09:51

Peawhack · 07/04/2025 09:16

My driving instructor never got out the car, just sent a text and beeped the horn.

I thought the horn was only supposed to be used to warn of a hazard? I know it's commonplace to use it in this manner, but surely a driving instructor should be doing things by the book.

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/04/2025 09:50

Don’t be daft!
Tell your son to set an alarm.

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 07/04/2025 09:50

When I learnt to drive and years later when I had top up lessons the instructor always waited outside in the car.

It really is the person's responsibility to be ready for the lesson they've asked for. Not the instructors.

TopPocketFind · 07/04/2025 09:49

Instructors never got out of their car when I had my lessons over 25 years ago, my DC's instructor texted when he was on his way.

I never heard of them ringing the doorbell

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 07/04/2025 09:48

Apart from anything else, I remember when I was 17 and learning to drive. Yes, it was daunting; but I was so excited and felt like a real grown-up to be working towards being able to drive myself around independently.

I was buzzing (in a good way!) before each lesson; I wasn't just sighing and treating it as a mundane chore like taking the bins out!

itsgettingweird · 07/04/2025 09:48

Yabu.

if you join a service you get up and be there for that’s service - or you waste their time and get charged for it.
im sure we’ve all overslept - it’s a lesson in life we learn.

He text. The rest was on your ds

TeenLifeMum · 07/04/2025 09:47

Ds needs to be dressed and looking out the window for his instructor. Totally on him. Driving instructors wait in the car.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 07/04/2025 09:47

NotTonightDeidre · 07/04/2025 09:32

I wouldn't have expected the lesson to extend beyond the finish time & delay others.

DH said he would wake teen. He forgot about the lesson. Had I realised I'd have woken him prior.

DH agrees that it's DS' own fault.

Sometimes we need help. Alarms often don't wake kids/teens. Including smoke alarms too.

Expensive life lesson.

Your son is old enough to take driving lessons so should be able to set an alarm a get up on time!

He needs to be more responsible!

StampOnTheGround · 07/04/2025 09:47

My driving instructors always waited outside too

RhododendronFlowers · 07/04/2025 09:47

havanesehope · 07/04/2025 09:46

My son's instructor never got out of the car. Both my sons set up alerts on their phones, never missed a lesson.

Mine too. Neither were early risers of their own accord, but they changed their habits!

ohdearagain2 · 07/04/2025 09:47

The driving instructor would expect him to be ready for his lesson a text is fine

havanesehope · 07/04/2025 09:46

My son's instructor never got out of the car. Both my sons set up alerts on their phones, never missed a lesson.

RhododendronFlowers · 07/04/2025 09:45

justkeepswimingswiming · 07/04/2025 09:41

YABU.

It’s not the driving instructors job to wake up your son, he should be up & waiting for the driving instructor.

Exactly this. Like everyone else on here, I was ready at the door waiting for my instructor. He never left the car.
Your son needs to get himself organised.

LittleGreenDragons · 07/04/2025 09:45

Back in the mists of time DI (pre mobiles) never got out of the car. You were expected to be watching out of the window.

Pricelessadvice · 07/04/2025 09:45

When will parents start expecting their offspring to take responsibility for themself?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/04/2025 09:44

Tell your lazy ass son to set an alarm.

Who is paying for the driving lessons, you or him?

If you usually pay for them, make him pay for this one. Then hopefully he will make sure he is awake next time his driving instructor shows up at the pre-agreed time.

RhododendronFlowers · 07/04/2025 09:44

historyrepeatz · 07/04/2025 09:17

I though it was the norm to be ready and waiting for them as they arrived?

You'd think.

TY78910 · 07/04/2025 09:43

LaMarschallin · 07/04/2025 09:38

Sometimes we need help. Alarms often don't wake kids/teens. Including smoke alarms too.

Well, he's not a "kid/teen" if he's learning to drive, is he?
He's in his late teens.
Smoke alarms don't come into it. They're unexpected. Your DS knew he had an appointment booked.
If he's not responsible enough to even get ready for a lesson in time, is he responsible enough to drive safely?

Expensive life lesson.

Indeed.
Hope he's the one paying, not you.

Exactly. And it’s really not a great attitude to teach young adults that the world needs to accommodate their mistakes. I see this a lot at work, they turn up to work and get in to disciplinaries and can’t take accountability as ‘it’s not my fault the traffic was bad, or that the train was cancelled’ multiple times but don’t care that the world doesn’t stop running when they’re absent.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 07/04/2025 09:42

crumblingschools · 07/04/2025 09:38

@IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta about £80 for 2 hours

Whew! I'd really want my money's worth for that - as in the skills that only the driving instructor can offer - not just to pay that rate to somebody to sit in a parked car, which I can already well do myself, should I wish to!

RentalWoesNotFun · 07/04/2025 09:41

Your teen better start getting more organised. How will he manage in the real world!

If his alarm doesnt wake him get a different one, even a vibrating pillow one or whatever or he will be late for his job. When he gets one. You can’t blame the alarm. He needs to man up

Who is paying for his lessons? If it’s you I’d be inclined to tell him he pays himself from now in due to his disorganised attitude and you will consider reimbursing.

Kids these days.
They have no clue about life and don’t give a crap.

back in the day Id be standing at the window watching and waiting for my instructor. He didn’t leave the car just wave. That was in the day before mobile phones. Your so needs a good rocket up his lazy arse. I hope the instructor still gets paid for his time. Even if your son wasn’t bothered.

justkeepswimingswiming · 07/04/2025 09:41

YABU.

It’s not the driving instructors job to wake up your son, he should be up & waiting for the driving instructor.

BinChicken1 · 07/04/2025 09:40

What the fuck is this? This cannot be real 🤦🏻‍♀️

ScentOfAMoomin · 07/04/2025 09:39

My teachers never got me out of bed to go to school either

DuskyPink1984 · 07/04/2025 09:39

Instructor could have rung the doorbell (but they don't) but it would still be your son who at fault for missing either the whole lesson or a large chunk of it.

pinklimefish · 07/04/2025 09:39

They don’t knock; it’s basic timekeeping, driving instructors expect you to be ready and waiting for them to arrive. I don’t see how even ringing the bell would’ve helped here anyway if he was fast asleep. This is a life lesson for DS, unfortunately.

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