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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?

160 replies

BluntLilacGuide · 07/04/2025 00:57

Is it unreasonable to ask your partner to wash their hands before being intimate, especially if it involves touching sensitive areas? I feel like this is just basic hygiene but I’ve heard others say it kills the mood or is unnecessary. What are your thoughts on this? Is it something you bring up or do you just assume it’s handled without mentioning it?

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 00:59

TourangaLeila · 07/04/2025 21:15

🤢

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There’s nothing 🤢 about a man liking the way women naturally taste and smell. It’s basic biology for straight men to like it and in my experience the vast majority of men would rather that than someone who tastes of tap water or soap. If you shower in the morning, you shouldn’t smell unpleasant down there by evening.

I shower every morning but I’ve never in my life had a partner who wanted me to shower immediately before any kind of sex, and I’d think they were being a prissy little wimp if they did. Each to their own, but that kind of ‘Eww, genitals, yuck, bodies are dirty and gross’ attitude is just a colossal turn-off for me.

theickisreal · 08/04/2025 00:50

PurpleChrayn · 07/04/2025 22:56

OMG what a buzzkill!

I don’t think it is… you’ve been lucky if you’ve never experienced going down on a bloke and well, the smell/taste of pee. Because if they haven’t showered or washed, they’ve been peeing all day and not washing
Sex without oral and no shower then fine!

Tbrh · 08/04/2025 00:40

EilishMcCandlish · 07/04/2025 15:24

Why stop at gloves. Whole body protection is available for him and her.

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This reminds me of one of the 'Naked Gun' movies where they are wearing full body sized condoms 🤣

PurpleChrayn · 07/04/2025 22:56

OMG what a buzzkill!

TourangaLeila · 07/04/2025 21:15

ItGhoul · 07/04/2025 10:11

Most men I’ve had relationships with have actively preferred me not to shower directly before oral sex.

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🤢

3amamama · 07/04/2025 17:08

Reading about some of the (hopefully ex!) partners on this thread now I really would advise a powerhose, OMG.

SunsetCocktails · 07/04/2025 17:04

3amamama · 07/04/2025 12:55

A good powerhose in the back garden first, hygienic and invigorating.

In absolute seriousness - whatever someone needs to be comfortable, happy and in some cases healthy is fine. A little extra cleanliness is no big ask, even if it does seem unnecessary to some.

Powerhose in the back garden

😂😂

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 07/04/2025 15:55

EilishMcCandlish · 07/04/2025 15:24

Why stop at gloves. Whole body protection is available for him and her.

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One step at at time in our house, so rubber gloves, then wellingtons. We'll see how things are after that.
I suspect there could be a lot of squeaking with those outfits that you wear and, to be honest, I am not overly fond of the smell of burning rubber.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 07/04/2025 15:30

With my ex I always wanted to shower before he went walkabout down under, he preferred that I didn't...so I didn't 🤷‍♀️

EilishMcCandlish · 07/04/2025 15:24

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 07/04/2025 07:19

Similar here, but I find with the thin latex ones there is a risk puncture or even tearing so we have a pair of these each.

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Why stop at gloves. Whole body protection is available for him and her.

To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?
To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?
Health47 · 07/04/2025 15:19

SwingTheMonkey · 07/04/2025 15:17

Autocorrected to sti - meant uti 😂

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I did think you meant uti 😂😂

SwingTheMonkey · 07/04/2025 15:17

SwingTheMonkey · 07/04/2025 15:04

As someone who has just had a really awful sti, I’m going to be really careful about this in the future. It was awful and I think I might now have interstitial cystitis unfortunately. It’s easy to joke about wearing rubber gloves when everything is hunky dory down below.

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Autocorrected to sti - meant uti 😂

Health47 · 07/04/2025 15:16

SwingTheMonkey · 07/04/2025 15:04

As someone who has just had a really awful sti, I’m going to be really careful about this in the future. It was awful and I think I might now have interstitial cystitis unfortunately. It’s easy to joke about wearing rubber gloves when everything is hunky dory down below.

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Honestly as someone who gets utis often, hygiene is on my mind every single time!! It’s great people can just do it unwashed and it have no effects but I daren’t even chance it so I will always have a shower and clean hands before

SwingTheMonkey · 07/04/2025 15:04

Health47 · 07/04/2025 07:52

Can tell most of the people on here don’t suffer with a recurrent uti 🙈

As someone who has just had a really awful sti, I’m going to be really careful about this in the future. It was awful and I think I might now have interstitial cystitis unfortunately. It’s easy to joke about wearing rubber gloves when everything is hunky dory down below.

Health47 · 07/04/2025 14:58

Doseofreality · 07/04/2025 11:34

Unless they’ve smeared their fingers in Vicks Vapour Rub before giving you a good fingering, it really shouldn’t be a problem.

Edited

It shouldn’t be a problem you’re right, but for many women it is. Any type of bacteria can upset some

Ilovecleaning · 07/04/2025 14:54

Oh God, yes! Otherwise - disgusting 🤮

Catsandcannedbeans · 07/04/2025 14:52

CrystalSingerFan · 07/04/2025 12:03

Chillies! That's something you only get wrong once...

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I was just happy to have someone who could and would cook I got carried away … never again

FarmersWife2019 · 07/04/2025 14:28

PoppyBaxter · 07/04/2025 12:19

Some of the things we've done to eachother, his hands are the least of my worries!

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I thought I was the only one who thought this way.
I once messaged my husband for a quickie whilst he was on the farm working. I never thought to ask him to wash his hands. I guess if they were covered in cow muck or tractor oil he would but he wouldn't shower and nor would I. I couldn’t get worked up about it.

GingerEden · 07/04/2025 13:24

"My ex got a bit too comfortable with me enjoying his natural aroma, so I coined the immortal phrase “there’s no pheromones in knob cheese”. 🤮 Quite often he’d put his arm round my shoulders and I could smell his hand and where it had been!"

<Slowly backs out of thread>

UndermyShoeJoe · 07/04/2025 13:14

SemperIdem · 07/04/2025 12:49

This is not only a valid reason but vital.

I’ve been reminded of a fairly traumatic experience I had when a past partner didn’t. Never again.

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Needs more than one hand wash for chillies 🔥

FastFood · 07/04/2025 13:04

I wouldn't go to bed with someone who wasn't a regular hand washer anyway, so I wouldn't require a hygiene inspection beforehand.

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 07/04/2025 13:00

I would ask my grubby ex to wash as he would go for 3 days without a shower if we weren’t together, and then come to mine looking and smelling like a tramp.

One time he was touching a coldsore on his lip in bed and then went to touch me. I very politely suggested he wash his hands first,
so as not to give me herpes, and he went absolutely mental at me.

Current DP is almost disappointingly hygienic! I never get to smell his natural body odour as he is fastidiously clean at all times, but I’d rather that tbh. Even if it’s a spontaneous one I know I can safely go down there with no nasty surprises. And I know his hands will be clean as he’s always cleaning. I do worry more about mouth germs, because he gets lots of ulcers, and I’d always be freshly showered for that.

My ex got a bit too comfortable with me enjoying his natural aroma, so I coined the immortal phrase “there’s no pheromones in knob cheese”. 🤮 Quite often he’d put his arm round my shoulders and I could smell his hand and where it had been!

3amamama · 07/04/2025 12:55

A good powerhose in the back garden first, hygienic and invigorating.

In absolute seriousness - whatever someone needs to be comfortable, happy and in some cases healthy is fine. A little extra cleanliness is no big ask, even if it does seem unnecessary to some.

SemperIdem · 07/04/2025 12:49

Isittimeformynapyet · 07/04/2025 12:26

Yes, if they've been preparing chillies.

This is not only a valid reason but vital.

I’ve been reminded of a fairly traumatic experience I had when a past partner didn’t. Never again.

lovemycbf · 07/04/2025 12:30

Maitri108 · 07/04/2025 01:24

I keep a box of latex gloves by the bed for exactly this issue.

😜🤣😱