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Original poster

To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?

160 replies

BluntLilacGuide · 07/04/2025 00:57

Is it unreasonable to ask your partner to wash their hands before being intimate, especially if it involves touching sensitive areas? I feel like this is just basic hygiene but I’ve heard others say it kills the mood or is unnecessary. What are your thoughts on this? Is it something you bring up or do you just assume it’s handled without mentioning it?

OP posts:
Lanzarotelady · 08/04/2025 20:17

BoldAmberDuck · 08/04/2025 18:47

So u have sex after the loo without a shower? I couldnt

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So every time you go to the loo, you have a shower?

Lanzarotelady · 08/04/2025 20:17

Namechangedrunner · 08/04/2025 19:34

All jokes aside, we do actually keep a box of nitrile gloves beside the bed. My DH loves his prostate being stimulated and I certainly don’t want to go straight from there to playing with myself. It also makes clean up way easier and avoids other nasties. Was maybe a bit weird at first, but got used to it pretty quickly.

And I am out!

Namechangedrunner · 08/04/2025 19:34

All jokes aside, we do actually keep a box of nitrile gloves beside the bed. My DH loves his prostate being stimulated and I certainly don’t want to go straight from there to playing with myself. It also makes clean up way easier and avoids other nasties. Was maybe a bit weird at first, but got used to it pretty quickly.

Bimble2 · 08/04/2025 19:24

No. I always ask because mobile phones harbour a lot of germs, and that bothers me.

BoldAmberDuck · 08/04/2025 18:47

TheAphrodite · 08/04/2025 18:42

I had a chat with a friend who was mortified that both myself and partner will always shower before we do the dirty but I honestly cant think of anything worse than know ive been sweating all day and unclean 😱 washing hands is the bare minimum partner should be doing

Exactly. I thought everyone did!

BoldAmberDuck · 08/04/2025 18:47

MsNevermore · 07/04/2025 01:21

I mean….majority of the time it’s happening when we’re going to bed, so we’ve both been to the loo, washed our hands and brushed our teeth anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

So u have sex after the loo without a shower? I couldnt

Lanzarotelady · 08/04/2025 18:45

I remember the Covid days so well, full shower before work, hazmat suit and full respirator before I was even allowed in the house never mind the bedroom

TheAphrodite · 08/04/2025 18:42

I had a chat with a friend who was mortified that both myself and partner will always shower before we do the dirty but I honestly cant think of anything worse than know ive been sweating all day and unclean 😱 washing hands is the bare minimum partner should be doing

IdaGlossop · 08/04/2025 18:39

Maitri108 · 07/04/2025 01:24

I keep a box of latex gloves by the bed for exactly this issue.

I keep a Hazmat suit handy.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 08/04/2025 18:37

I'll wash my hands if you assure me you've washed your vag.

Lanzarotelady · 08/04/2025 18:33

Imbusytodaysorry · 07/04/2025 07:44

And assuming sex is always at bed time .
lovely routine going on shower ,bed, sex, bovril then 8 hours sleep .

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Bovril, you heathen
Don't we all have a sleepy tea?

schtompy · 08/04/2025 18:33

One of my icks to this day.
I used to ask stbxh if he had brushed his teeth, used deodorant..(washing hands wasn’t one of them) as a slightly bad breath breathing heavily on you in moments of passion is unpleasant, as is strong BO, neither of which he understood. Understand I didn’t ask just because we were about to rumpy pumpy, just occasionally when I could detect an aroma.
I never had a problem or thought about hands though. Depends on his job I guess

Washingupdone · 08/04/2025 18:32

It is said that, ’Napoleon Bonaparte once wrote to his wife Joséphine, while he was campaigning: 'Please don't wash, will arrive in three days’

I must add that they would not be my thoughts on the matter.

independentfriend · 08/04/2025 18:27

Didn't occur to me for years, but once it did, it became a rule in my head - I don't want unwashed, ungloved hands touching my vulva because that's an avoidable infection risk. And a partner who didn't care about that or was unwilling to modify their practice to accommodate my decisions for my body isn't somebody I want to do sexual stuff with.

ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 14:56

GroovyChick87 · 08/04/2025 12:50

Depends how much they wash. I'm sure there's some mingers out there, male and female. No ones suggesting they need to use Dettol but at least use some soap, there's no excuse.

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Nobody is suggesting people shouldn't wash. Simply that if you do wash every day, you probably don't need to wash again immediately before sex. It's sex, not surgery.

For the love of god, though, don't put actual soap in/round your vagina. That's a recipe for thrush/UTIs.

sweetpickle2 · 08/04/2025 13:46

GroovyChick87 · 08/04/2025 12:50

Depends how much they wash. I'm sure there's some mingers out there, male and female. No ones suggesting they need to use Dettol but at least use some soap, there's no excuse.

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Nobody's saying you shouldn't wash ever! (although obviously you shouldn't actually use soap 'up there') Just asking people to do it prior to a shag, to some, seems a bit OTT.

GroovyChick87 · 08/04/2025 12:50

ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 08:59

If you don’t want to put your face between a woman’s legs unless she’s douched with Dettol, that’s up to you. But I have never, literally never, met a man who worries about this.

Whatever your personal preferences are, that is absolutely fine. You do you. But I’ll stick with a spontaneous stress-free sex life, thanks.

PS There’s more ‘piss and shit residue’ on your toothbrush, towels and taps than the average vulva.

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Depends how much they wash. I'm sure there's some mingers out there, male and female. No ones suggesting they need to use Dettol but at least use some soap, there's no excuse.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 08/04/2025 09:08

ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 00:59

There’s nothing 🤢 about a man liking the way women naturally taste and smell. It’s basic biology for straight men to like it and in my experience the vast majority of men would rather that than someone who tastes of tap water or soap. If you shower in the morning, you shouldn’t smell unpleasant down there by evening.

I shower every morning but I’ve never in my life had a partner who wanted me to shower immediately before any kind of sex, and I’d think they were being a prissy little wimp if they did. Each to their own, but that kind of ‘Eww, genitals, yuck, bodies are dirty and gross’ attitude is just a colossal turn-off for me.

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Very well said

ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 08:59

TourangaLeila · 08/04/2025 08:40

The vagina is not the problem. The piss and shit residue is 🤢 unless you wash with soap and water after each bladder and bowel event.

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If you don’t want to put your face between a woman’s legs unless she’s douched with Dettol, that’s up to you. But I have never, literally never, met a man who worries about this.

Whatever your personal preferences are, that is absolutely fine. You do you. But I’ll stick with a spontaneous stress-free sex life, thanks.

PS There’s more ‘piss and shit residue’ on your toothbrush, towels and taps than the average vulva.

TourangaLeila · 08/04/2025 08:40

ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 00:59

There’s nothing 🤢 about a man liking the way women naturally taste and smell. It’s basic biology for straight men to like it and in my experience the vast majority of men would rather that than someone who tastes of tap water or soap. If you shower in the morning, you shouldn’t smell unpleasant down there by evening.

I shower every morning but I’ve never in my life had a partner who wanted me to shower immediately before any kind of sex, and I’d think they were being a prissy little wimp if they did. Each to their own, but that kind of ‘Eww, genitals, yuck, bodies are dirty and gross’ attitude is just a colossal turn-off for me.

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The vagina is not the problem. The piss and shit residue is 🤢 unless you wash with soap and water after each bladder and bowel event.

YourPeppyLilacPoster · 08/04/2025 02:07

BTW, I keep myself clean and there's no need for me to shower before sex. No one's complained...

YourPeppyLilacPoster · 08/04/2025 02:05

That's disgusting! I don't like giving BJs, can't stand the feel of it in my mouth.

Monty27 · 08/04/2025 01:40

Missedthis · 07/04/2025 05:30

Misread this as “anals of time”

In which case, washing is important 😂

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@Missedthis I assumed it was an intended pun! 😆

Tbrh · 08/04/2025 01:25

ItGhoul · 08/04/2025 00:59

There’s nothing 🤢 about a man liking the way women naturally taste and smell. It’s basic biology for straight men to like it and in my experience the vast majority of men would rather that than someone who tastes of tap water or soap. If you shower in the morning, you shouldn’t smell unpleasant down there by evening.

I shower every morning but I’ve never in my life had a partner who wanted me to shower immediately before any kind of sex, and I’d think they were being a prissy little wimp if they did. Each to their own, but that kind of ‘Eww, genitals, yuck, bodies are dirty and gross’ attitude is just a colossal turn-off for me.

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Agree with you

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/04/2025 01:08

ItGhoul · 07/04/2025 10:11

Most men I’ve had relationships with have actively preferred me not to shower directly before oral sex.

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As a woman personally I don’t enjoy the smell of a sweaty vagina.

Most women I’ve been with have been the same. I’ve had men love sweaty sex but it’s not my cup of tea.

Some men and women don’t have a strong odour, but I still prefer sex showered.