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Original poster

To think hygiene is important during intimate moments?

160 replies

BluntLilacGuide · 07/04/2025 00:57

Is it unreasonable to ask your partner to wash their hands before being intimate, especially if it involves touching sensitive areas? I feel like this is just basic hygiene but I’ve heard others say it kills the mood or is unnecessary. What are your thoughts on this? Is it something you bring up or do you just assume it’s handled without mentioning it?

OP posts:
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Mum2EmLuJa · 12/04/2025 19:49

YourPeppyLilacPoster · 09/04/2025 13:03

Me and my husband have been talking about this. We both love spontaneous sex and showering before doing it would take away the surprise element. Sometimes he'll pick me up from work and we'll go for a drink. If we're in the mood when we get home we'll go straight upstairs. Also, I get incredibly horny before I'm due to start my period and quite often I'll wake him up in the middle of the night and make him have it. It's each to their own though.

Right before my period is due is when I want sex the least-literally could think of nothing worse and everything about my DH annoys me lol but then think I have bad PMD/progesterone sensitivity

SugarPlumFaerie · 11/04/2025 10:58

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 07/04/2025 03:41

We always shower before because we have oral sex.

I've always been curious about this (meet DH at 18 so not much for comparison!). We always at least 'freshen up' before for this reason but I thought maybe it was not a common thing. Kinda nice to know it's not just us!

QueefQueen80s · 09/04/2025 15:10

Joystir59 · 09/04/2025 15:07

It's a real turn on for me to go to bed showered with my freshly showered partner. Showering together is a turn on too. We are a lesbian couple and it's lovely to have, or give oral sex when we are both clean and the smells and, er, juices are coming from our turned on clean bodies, not from the day's sweat etc.

Exactly.. it makes it so much nicer and means you wanna be even more into it.. if I catch a bad smell I wouldn’t be putting my all into it. We’re human, at the end of the day we sweat down there, pee, discharge, poo, general funk..

Joystir59 · 09/04/2025 15:07

It's a real turn on for me to go to bed showered with my freshly showered partner. Showering together is a turn on too. We are a lesbian couple and it's lovely to have, or give oral sex when we are both clean and the smells and, er, juices are coming from our turned on clean bodies, not from the day's sweat etc.

Paganpentacle · 09/04/2025 13:06

Tbrh · 07/04/2025 02:35

Mood killer. What is he touching that is "less hygenic" than what he's about to touch?!

Your vagina isnt dirty or covered in harmful bacteria. Hopefully anyway.

His hands however probably are.

YourPeppyLilacPoster · 09/04/2025 13:03

Me and my husband have been talking about this. We both love spontaneous sex and showering before doing it would take away the surprise element. Sometimes he'll pick me up from work and we'll go for a drink. If we're in the mood when we get home we'll go straight upstairs. Also, I get incredibly horny before I'm due to start my period and quite often I'll wake him up in the middle of the night and make him have it. It's each to their own though.

QueefQueen80s · 09/04/2025 09:03

i don’t get how it kills the mood? Me and partners have always made sure we’re clean first, it’s more enjoyable that way. I’ve had utis from unclean hands. And oral is so much better knowing we’re both clean.
Once that’s done we get to it, no mood ruined?

BlueFlowers5 · 09/04/2025 05:23

I agree OP, clean hands are essential in that situation. If he already has his Fireman's outfit on, I might not insist then.

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 08/04/2025 22:51

has to have fresh breath and a clean willy. Non- negotiables. 😂

DancingNotDrowning · 08/04/2025 22:44

This thread is an education!

DH and I shower everyday and wash our hands after bathroom/cooking/gardening etc. but I wouldn’t think to ask DH to break spontaneity to wash his hands. That’s crazy!

tillyandmilly · 08/04/2025 22:19

Personally I don’t want anyone in my bed - those days are gone!

Beautifulweeds · 08/04/2025 22:17

You can clean yourself without a shower!

Beautifulweeds · 08/04/2025 22:16

In younger days of spontaneity these thought didn't really cross our minds but now, yes, we both take responsibility for being more hygienic. Bit of a mood killer really to take turns to go to the bathroom lol 😆

CuriousQuestioningGal · 08/04/2025 22:16

HerNextDoorAgain · 07/04/2025 05:27

I usually give him a good spraying with Zoflora, then we slap the Marigolds on anyway. Cannot be too careful.

I won’t be able to look at the Zoflora now without laughing 😂

changeme4this · 08/04/2025 22:15

We go to bed clean, so I have no concerns there. DH won’t initiate anything if he has been to the toilet etc. I’m the same.

it’s just unspoken between us.

HerNextDoorAgain · 08/04/2025 22:02

Iloveanicegarden · 08/04/2025 21:52

Where do you keep the cake tongs?

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Next to the lube and the fish slice.

Orangeandpinknails · 08/04/2025 21:57

PedigreeDogs · 08/04/2025 20:51

I have never felt the need to wash my hands immediately before sex. I do however like to give my fanjo a quick clean before sex. Especially if there is any chance that oral will be on the agenda. I wouldn't feel comfortable just having sex without being clean beforehand.

Your hands are always clean too anyway then 😄

Orangeandpinknails · 08/04/2025 21:55

Maitri108 · 07/04/2025 01:24

I keep a box of latex gloves by the bed for exactly this issue.

Wait...no you don't???

Iloveanicegarden · 08/04/2025 21:52

HerNextDoorAgain · 07/04/2025 05:27

I usually give him a good spraying with Zoflora, then we slap the Marigolds on anyway. Cannot be too careful.

Where do you keep the cake tongs?

sweetpickle2 · 08/04/2025 21:31

Everyone saying they thought it was normal to shower before sex… I can’t recall a single scene in a film or a TV show where a couple are getting down to it then stop to have a shower. Not one.

August1980 · 08/04/2025 21:23

SingtotheCat · 07/04/2025 09:19

I have special tongs for DH’s knob.

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@SingtotheCat it’s taken me 90 min to get my 3 month old to sleep… I laughed so loud at this she startled in her bed and got up and dog fell of hers….this had amused me so much I don’t care.

Hellenski · 08/04/2025 21:08

Omg. Spicy crisps. Been there.

PedigreeDogs · 08/04/2025 20:51

I have never felt the need to wash my hands immediately before sex. I do however like to give my fanjo a quick clean before sex. Especially if there is any chance that oral will be on the agenda. I wouldn't feel comfortable just having sex without being clean beforehand.

Kerrie1973 · 08/04/2025 20:49

Depends if I have my period or not.

Not much point in washing beforehand when it's wall to wall gore afterwards.

BoldAmberDuck · 08/04/2025 20:37

Lanzarotelady · 08/04/2025 20:17

So every time you go to the loo, you have a shower?

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No of course not but I do before intimacy