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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

405 replies

TheUmberFawn · 06/04/2025 22:20

Went to a busy café at lunchtime. One table was occupied by a mum with a large pram taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables, so I asked politely if she could move it so I could sit. She gave me a dirty look and mumbled something about needing space. I get that babies come with stuff but why should that mean no one else can sit? AIBU for asking?

OP posts:
butterflycr · 07/04/2025 07:15

Presumably you saw how busy the cafe was when you walked in and you chose to stay there anyway.

You knew that there were no free tables.

You can't just expect to sit down at someone else's table, especially when there were 2 people already at a 2 person table.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 07/04/2025 07:14

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:55

And yet OP in this scenario was doing most of the things you moaned about mothers doing but you ranted about this one for daring to own a pram 🤦‍♀️

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I did not 'rant about this one', I used my recent experience to illustrate that the OP has a point.
Did not rant, did not say anything about owning a pram, just pointed out that some with prams are selfish, some are not. Some without prams are selfish, some are not.

Velvian · 07/04/2025 07:13

I thought YWNBU as you were talking about a spare table, but YWBU, as it wasn't a spare table.

Pricelessadvice · 07/04/2025 07:12

I’d have done that British thing of just waiting for a table to come free. I wouldn’t disturb someone sitting at a table already, particularly just a two-seater table.

Huskysf · 07/04/2025 07:09

Yabu

ValentinesGranny · 07/04/2025 07:09

I go out for lunch with DIL and baby GC every week. I always pre-book with a pram-space. If they can't facilitate that we go elsewhere. YANBU and they would have been told to get lost.

Lost20211 · 07/04/2025 07:08

You’re being unseasonable. I would look at you as if you had two heads if you asked me that.

Missey85 · 07/04/2025 07:07

So your the cafe weirdo that just sits down at random tables of people already eating 😂 the space wasn't free the baby was using it

AlertCat · 07/04/2025 07:06

HRTFT but my local cafe has a sign up asking that larger buggies be left outside. It’s not a big space and they create a hazard for the staff carrying hot drinks around, as well as inconveniencing other customers. So I don’t think it’s always unreasonable to ask. Fwiw this cafe doesn’t have a space for baby changing (there literally isn’t one, the single self contained toilet is shared with staff and is tiny) but it’s still popular and very much in demand with everyone.

That said I don’t know how pleased I would be if I sat at a 2-person table with my pram in the space of another chair, so not taking up any more room than another adult would, and someone asked me to move it so they could share my space. I did vote YANBU but when I read the details I changed my mind.

PurpleFlower1983 · 07/04/2025 07:06

YABU, I would have been annoyed too.

arlequin · 07/04/2025 07:04

Sorry OP you’re being unreasonable. There were 2 people at a 2 person table.

Niallig32839 · 07/04/2025 07:04

she had a 2 person table with 2 of them at it, one in a buggy. Very unreasonable. Where was the baby to go? Where was the pram to go and not be in other people’s way. I’d have been miffed as well and probably rushed to leave as soon as you sat down

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 07:04

Tbrh · 07/04/2025 07:01

It's really not a big deal if a place is full and there's no other seats. It's actually the decent thing to do if there is room on your table and normal people would have no problem with it. What do you think is going to happen if a stranger shares your table, the world will not end. Fair enough though if there was no room.

Edited
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There wasn’t room, the woman made that clear to OP and she sat there anyway.
There were already 2 people at a 2 person table.

Tbrh · 07/04/2025 07:01

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:58

It’s not normal to share a 2 person table stranger with a stranger already sitting there with her child.
I’ve never been asked, asked someone or seen this happening in a normal cafe. It's really weird to force yourself on someone like this.

Show quote history

It's really not a big deal if a place is full and there's no other seats. It's actually the decent thing to do if there is room on your table and normal people would have no problem with it. What do you think is going to happen if a stranger shares your table, the world will not end. Fair enough though if there was no room.

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:58

Tbrh · 07/04/2025 06:55

It is normal in most people's worlds!

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It’s not normal to share a 2 person table stranger with a stranger already sitting there with her child.
I’ve never been asked, asked someone or seen this happening in a normal cafe. It's really weird to force yourself on someone like this.

Holdonforsummer · 07/04/2025 06:55

I’m with everyone else - the mum was with her baby so there were two of them taking up a two person table. YABU.

Tbrh · 07/04/2025 06:55

ProfessionalPirate · 07/04/2025 06:54

Not in my world it isn’t!

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It is normal in most people's worlds!

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:55

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 07/04/2025 06:51

That's a very strong (and incorrect) assertion

Show quote history

And yet OP in this scenario was doing most of the things you moaned about mothers doing but you ranted about this one for daring to own a pram 🤦‍♀️

ProfessionalPirate · 07/04/2025 06:54

ButterCrackers · 06/04/2025 22:35

The chair was free so she needed to move the pram which is reasonable. It’s normal to share a cafe table.

Not in my world it isn’t!

Fridgetapas · 07/04/2025 06:52

Yeah YWBU. It’s not normal to sit down opposite a person on a two person table if you don’t know them. She had the table already plus needed the space for the baby.

Also I remember feeling incredibly self conscious that I was in the way when I was in a cafe with a buggy and I always tried to angle it with least annoyance to people but they are often bulky things! I think it’s just kind to show a bit of consideration to new mothers and give them a bit of space and peace. It can be quite daunting to get out with a baby.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 07/04/2025 06:51

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:50

Your rant was completely irrelevant to this post. The pram wasn’t blocking the way, the woman with the baby wasn’t the one trying to sit at occupied tables, the OP was.
You seem to just look for excuses to go on crusades against mothers with young children.

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That's a very strong (and incorrect) assertion

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:50

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 07/04/2025 06:45

Oh, please do explain your entitlement to rudeness.

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Your rant was completely irrelevant to this post. The pram wasn’t blocking the way, the woman with the baby wasn’t the one trying to sit at occupied tables, the OP was.
You seem to just look for excuses to go on crusades against mothers with young children.

Littlemisscapable · 07/04/2025 06:48

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 07/04/2025 06:44

It's not normal to share a two-person table with a stranger anyway. Strange request.

This. Not in a typical cafe..maybe like an airport cafe with 2 adults at a push. There were no free seats so you don't get one.. annoying but the way it is.

Waffle19 · 07/04/2025 06:48

I would hate to share a two person table with a stranger. YABVU.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 07/04/2025 06:45

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 06:44

As nuts as the OP.

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Oh, please do explain your entitlement to rudeness.