To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

Right, no I would not want you to sit there.

I don’t think the woman with the baby was necessarily being possessive it was probably just logistically difficult to make space for the OP to sit down? Whether the pram gets moved, folded or baby gets into a highchair, they’re still taking up room?

In the UK we ask politely if we can sit at an occupied table. They can refuse, and we move on.

Then please start using your politesse skills. You may have asked ‘politely’ but it was rude to ask in the first place. It was rude to assume you should be able to suggest sitting down at an already occupied table. It was rude to assume because someone wasn’t using a chair at an occupied table that you should be allowed to ask. Just because you did something ‘politely’ doesn’t mean it was polite to do so.

Agreed. It's not like it's a high-end restaurant! It's a cafe. So bizarre people are so possessive over their tables. I don't think you were BU OP. I can understand it being tough on your own with a big pram in a cafe though. Cafes are often not particularly well designed for prams and wheelchairs as the tables and chairs can be crammed in to accommodate as many paying customers as possible.

Besides how would you know all the tables would be full while by the time you've finished in the queue?

I used to work in a busy cafe and we'd have lots of people sharing tables at busy periods. No one objected. That was a good 20 years ago though, maybe times have changed.

A creche is somewhere to leave a baby or small child. A paying customer who happens to have a child with them is still a paying customer, who has as much right as any other to a table to themselves - and more right to the table than the OP, seeing as the woman already sitting at the table had got there first. OP should have waited or gone elsewhere. Or, if she really wanted a table in that cafe at that time, either arrived earlier or made a reservation.

If I'm out somewhere with my DC, I probably want to spend time with them and anyone else we might be meeting, not with random strangers trying to impose themselves on us.

Well that’s assuming there was room for the pram to be moved in the first place. If there was, it’s likely the friend would have held the baby whilst the pram was being folded, which is always strenuous. Friend also would have been available to help with the baby, so the mother could have a break. It’s a completely different scenario to sharing a 2 seater table with a stranger, whilst trying to wrangle a baby and pram and potentially a high chair.

Both phrases are polite.

She's a longstanding poster and she's entitled to her opinion even if it differs from yours.

Maybe she wanted some quiet time looking at a different four walls?

Give the baby a spoon with puree on it. You can bet the table crasher would end up wearing it.

I'd have looked around, realised the cafe was full, then either found another one or taken my food away and gone and sat somewhere outside or even in my car.

It’s also normal to ask ‘Do you mind if I sit here?’ - rather than saying ‘Can you move your pram so I can sit here?’.

Errr this.

Plus it's first come, first served. So no l won't move my child and / or pram or high chair for someone who came later. They would probably hate me anyway as l have twins so yeah we would take up 3 spaces

Yes - this is how a cafe works.

If that parent had been with a friend I bet they would have moved the pram to the side so that the friend could sit down.

What are you talking about? How does the OP not being able to sit at a 2 person table that was already occupied affect the bottom line of the cafe? And if OP was meeting someone, where would they have sat?

In your original post you said there was a woman sat at a table and her pushchair was taking up the space of two chairs.

Then in your second post you said it was a two person table.

So two person table means two charis? So the woman was using one chair and her pushchair was taking up just one space?

YABU for exaggerating how many spaces were being taken up by the pushchair which may influence the outcome of the vote and YABVU for not asking first if it was OK for you to share the table.

Me either - l love chatting to new people but not if l have shoehorned my way in to their space like this!

YABU Quite clearly you are unreasonable for encroaching on a mother sitting at a table with her baby.

She paid for stuff to eat and sat down before you; you can’t just use her table if she wants time to herself with the baby.

If she wants time to herself with her baby she can go home.

Since when did a cafe/coffeeshop/lunch place double up as a creche?!

I presume OP was also there to have a drink and eat? Maybe had arranged to meet with a friend/mum/work colleague...

If the establishment cannot run on a profit - pay rent, utilities, wages etc. - then they fold and nobody wins.

Goodness me! You’re being v unreasonable. She probably only wanted five minutes of peace not to have to share a table with a stranger, and have to move to accommodate them. It probably took her ages to navigate through all the tables with a buggy in the first place. Just wait for a table next time. I’d have been annoyed if I were her too.

which isn’t unusual in busy cafés.

Are you sure about that? I find it quite unusual.

It was a 2 person table with 2 people sitting there. There was not a free space, even if nobody was sat on the chair. The table was at capacity.

Are you saying that every single other seat was taken? Every table of 4 had exactly 4 people on? None with only 3? There were no groups of 5 seated at tables of 6?

I'd be really surprised if there literally wasn't a single empty chair. People don't only eat in groups the right sizes to fill tables to their maximum capacity.

I suspect it's actually the case that you would not walk up to a group of 5 and ask to sit at the remaining sixth seat, because you do know that asking to sit with people is weird.

It would have been more reasonable though, as they would have at least had a space free.

YABVU

YABU. You were rude and entitled. If there's no table available, you either wait for one or go elsewhere. You don't just impose yourself on a stranger of your choosing.

But if the baby had been in a high chair, that would probably have been in the space that the second chair would have occupied anyway. So you still wouldn’t have been able to sit down. If the baby had been in a high chair you wouldn’t (I hope) have asked her to move it to make room for you. So asking her to move the pram was unreasonable as well.

She said the pram was parked where the seat usually is. So it wasn’t free.