To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

So basically what you’re saying is that there was no space and so the op had to direct the mum to move her buggy and baby so she could be accommodated and then squeeze her way on to the table so she could sit down? Yep, rude.

in my whole life, I have never had to ask to join a single occupied table at a coffee shop because there was no other space. It’s just using common sense and checking out how many free tables there. It’s not hard.

YABU for obvious reasons.

Wow what a nasty comment. My babies loved cafes. I loved cafes and still do. What is it with people thinking mothers with babies should stay at home so it doesn’t inconvenience a person wanting to sit in a busy cafe? The table was small. The room around the table was small. The pushchair was occupying a second seat even though wasn’t sitting on the cafe chair it was still positioned to take up the room of the second chair. Such weird replies on here and some really nasty ones to mothers who like all people are allowed to leave their homes and visit cafes!

I'd only use those for take out coffee. Maybe if they're already really quiet I might sit down, but not my usual haunt.

And yes, no table is reserved or a sure bet until you sit down at it, unless you've reserved online or by phone in advance.

Well since I live here too and don’t agree I’m not sure you can speak on behalf of the whole of the UK.

I'm invariably eating on my own. The last time I did I had to go to the counter and order, then find a table. Thankfully it wasn't busy.

Think costa coffee or local high street coffee shops rather than a mall with table service.

And of course unless a couple of people bring along family members to 'reserve' tables and they enter the cafe just as you finished paying, and you turn around to find your previous empty tables are now 'reserved'.

If the pram was blocking your access to a second table then that's not rude to ask if it can be moved so that you can access the second table.

It's not rude to ask politely if you could share a table but be prepared for no. A table for two is quite intimate to have to share with another person when you already have a baby with all their stuff to deal with.

Doesn't sound like you asked if she'd be willing to share the table before you asked her to move her baby.

I was comparing the bag blocking a seat to the pram blocking a seat, rather than the baby. Obviously the baby doesn't take up much room, but it has to be in a pram which did make it hard for OP to access the other seat at the table without it being moved a bit.

If the pram just needs to be moved a little bit closer to the mother so the second seat could be accessed I don't see it as BU.

And you can't possibly know the tables won't be filled before you order.

As someone up thread said, they send in family members to bag a table when they go into a cafe.

So you'd be purchasing your food or coffee and in the meantime a couple of "reserve table" types would have come in beaten you to the empty tables. Or do you only decide to buy coffee in a cafe if there is at least 3 tables free? Or 4? How many empty tables do you need before you'd order to escape the horror of having to ask someone if you can share a table?

@TheUmberFawn you said you asked if it was ok. But you clearly was expecting only one answer from her.
Mums with babies/toddlers/prams can’t go anywhere without someone in the public giving them stick for whatever reason. This time it’s because this mum took up a two person table for her and her baby and she didn’t want to accommodate you by inconveniencing herself and her baby at THEIR table.

I don't know how cafes work in your local malls. In mine, I go to the counter and ask for a table, get seated, then order. A lot are using QR scanning at the table for ordering still. If I'm shopping with someone else, they sit down then I go order. At most there might be one person ahead of me, so it's pretty easy to know there isn't going to be a push on tables.

That might happen at the local IKEA but not in a cafe, in my experience. If I'm ordering my eggs benedict I make sure I'll be able to sit before I order it. Can't eat that one on the bench in the park.

It's perfectly possible for establishments to get busier while you're waiting in a queue at the counter. You might see seats when you arrive and it might be a lot busier by the time you've been served.

People are still quite cough phobic. If someone is eyeing up your table, a couple of coughs will see them move on. 😂

Then op should have taken the chair elsewhere. She was using the space. If her partner was in a wheelchair so not using the chair does that mean they should move so op can have the chair in their space?

No but if I'm shopping and decide to get lunch, I find somewhere quiet where I know I'll be able to get a seat. Being able to get a seat would never include crashing someone else's table, even if there was a vacant seat.

The attitude of the majority here reminds me of this..

Anyway, I've always had nice chats meeting strangers at the same table in a cafe, even mums to have a chat with, cos I'm one too. You can always relate.

People need to open up to each other, we can always find a common ground.

What I can’t determine is where was baby when OP approached mum about moving pram?? In mums arms? Surely op can see this would be difficult and disruptive to mum

in the pram? Well you can’t move baby and pram elsewhere so op can have seat

in high chair? So that’s a chair A second chair taking the space at a two seater table.

No matter how I think it op seems unreasonable. While I’m not opposed to table sharing I would not select a mum at a very small table as my target. Read the room op the reason she looked miffed was becuse you were making her jostle herself baby and pram around to accommodate you.

Yabu.
There were two of them at a two person table and you asked her to move one of the people so you could have the spade instead. You wouldn't have asked a couple if he could stand so you could sit, or ask a Dad to put his teenager on his knee so you could sit. If this was the only possible place you could sit, then the cafe was full to capacity and you needed to wait for a seat.

Well this is just pure conjecture. And baby might have preferred it at home, but for whatever reason the mother wanted to get out of the house. I’d suggest the mental health of a new mother is extremely important and expecting her to stay at home (until when exactly?) because someone might want to share her table in a cafe is ridiculous.

If you're shopping as a single person you're not likely to be phoning the café up a day or two in advance to book a table.

Well yes. I’d never try and join a single table that was occupied by a mum and baby that had no space unless she moved her baby. So bizarre!

the train situation you have described is COMPLETELY different and not comparable in any way. A baby isn’t the same as a bag. If there isn’t space to sit down in a cafe, I’d go elsewhere before I bought anything

It also gets a large group out of the area where people are trying to order/waiting to order, and out of the way. So it keeps everyone corralled nicely if they are sat down and not getting in the way.

Not usually an issue as I've normal booked at least the day before and there's a 'reserved' tag on the table waiting for us at the booked time.

I've never had anyone ask to use an empty seat and I really don't think they'd want to. 😄I promise it wouldn't be restful for them. Then again, we don't tend to have empty seats and are more likely to have been given an extra seat, i.e., a 9th chair pulled up by staff to a table usually set up for 8.

Absolutely not! no way I would have agreed to move my baby and let you seat at my table!! Very strange entitled behaviour!

Yes YWBU