To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

The age of the child or ability to sit up in a highchair or without support is irrelevant. You stated it was a 2 person table, their were two people there whether they were on a chair, in a highchair or standing at the end of their table to eat.... my son is perfectly able to sit but hes also non verbal and has asd and even when he was small and not a flight risk it was extremely difficult to regulate and keep him level in a highchair without things being thrown, screaming meltdowns. But if we kept him in his buggy he felt secure and safe, can smell his familiar home scents and will be a much easier child in a public setting. You dont know peoples lives and its incredibly trivial to mention in general conversation let alone make a post about it. You were thoughtless and i hope that lady hasnt had any stress and anxiety over a non issue.

I think its very forward, unusual and intrusive for anyone to join a table of a stranger. Presumably when you entered the cafe you were aware of the capacity so customers already seated do not have to accomodate you on your presumptions. Many people are introverted, anxious, struggling with personal problems or simply feel uncomfortable with people they dont know... and thats perfectly within their right to not be forced into an awkward social situation for them. If it were a chair being used for her bags, like some do on crowded buses (i do find that unfair because its a moving vehicle and safety is priority over comfortability) i would probably even take that as a clear signal for personal space or another person joining them. But to ask to move a baby is not okay. If it were an older child she had the seat would still be occupied but theyd be sitting on the chair not the pram. Its not an object, its a small human being.

Unreasonable.

Why did you choose the woman with a buggy? Why would you ask someone to move their buggy so that you can sit on their table.

Sure, if the buggy was in the way of another table, and it was obstructing your chair - I get it. But you should always ask before you table share. But I always find people that do annoying, whenever that has happened to me they ask whilst taking a seat - so no isn’t an option even if it is bloody awkward sitting across a stranger whilst trying to have your coffee.

You should have waited until a table was available - queue up if you have to - someone would have left eventually.

This happened to me but the person (an older man), didn’t ask, they sat down on the empty chair that was across from me (the stroller parallel to me). I said, “Hey, I’m using this table.” He didn’t budge. There were plenty of other tables free very close by too. It upset me. It was a rare time my baby was calm and I was able to find some enjoyment in finally stepping out and having a coffee with my baby in the shops. I had to shuffle out of the seat, coffee unfinished because it interfered with my good time.

OP, I am not a fan of you asking this woman to use her table maybe she also finally only got a chance to step out. YABU.

Also, just realised you thread title says move her buggy FROM a cafe. So what, you expected her to park it outside?

There is absolutely no way I would ask a stranger to share a 2 person table. Unbelievably weird. Can you imagine plonking yourself down at a 4 person table only occupied by 3 people? Would you do that OP? I bet that wasn’t the only unoccupied chair in the whole cafe, why didn’t you ask to join a party of 3?

No way would I want to sit with a stranger, it's hard enough for me to get out anyhow and see the world for a bit while having a coffee. You say it's common to share, not where I've been it isnt

Oh goodness OP, I didn't realise until your second post that you were asking her to move the pram so you could sit at the same table with her!

YABU. If there was no table for you to sit at, tough luck. This lady was already there with her baby.

i remember my Nan used to ask could we share tables in mcdonalds as a kid when it was busy. I would die of embarrassment every time. Brits quite often are too polite just to say no... when really, if we are honest, lots would hate the idea of having company thrust upon us like this.

I wouldn’t even order anything if no free tables. I go somewhere else until I find somewhere with free tables.

So weird to try and sit at someone's table with them. For all you know they could have been waiting for someone or their friend or partner was in the queue.

I wouldn’t dream of approaching someone on a 2 person table and asking them to move their stuff so I could join them.
If she was taking up a large table and you could sit well away from her almost as if you had your own tables then fine, but a 2 seater table?! You’re mad.

she might have wanted to put a high chair in the chair space, who knows, she was there first and you are very lucky she agreed.

You went to a busy cafe at lunchtime.

Your words.

If you look in a busy cafe at lunchtime and there are no free tables then you have options.

Go to another cafe

Get a takeaway and find a bench outside

Go to a pub

Go to Greggs

It’s a cafe, not a works cafeteria. I would be annoyed if someone demanded to sit at my table with me.

sorry but that’s weird.

If I was out with my baby at a cafe enjoying a hot cuppa and a bite to eat (unheard of with a young baby) and someone asked me to move my pram, I would be very annoyed.
Not only have you disturbed her meal, you've made her feel like she was taking up space in a busy cafe when she got there before you did, you've been inconsiderate of how long it takes to leave the house with an infant, you've made assumptions about her baby and where she should put the baby while eating (it may well look like a baby can sit up, but that doesn't mean it's true. And judging how inconsiderate you've been to a mum, I'm assuming you don't have kids yourself).
Also, if the cafe was so busy as you said, the mum will have parked the pram somewhere out of the way of other customers and safe for baby to lay down and not be at risk of food or drink being spilled on them.
And finally, if a stranger asked to share a table with me (and my child) in a cafe, I would feel incredibly uncomfortable. It's just weird tbh.

The child / pram / buggy / high hair argument isn’t really the point anyway, even if you asked to sit and share a table with a stranger, who was there first, they can just say no they are not obliged to share if they don’t want to. You were incredibly rude to assume you could just take the other seat. I used to manage a relaxed vibe kind of cafe space and would never expect strangers to share, I would generally expect the person needing a table to ask a staff member to help them secure the next free table, often at busy times a person asking for staff help would prompt folk on another table to say “ oh we’re just leaving” and the staff member could be ready to clear that table quickly.
All other things being equal 2 person tables tend to be small, the mum may have wanted privacy to breastfeed or need table space to sort out a bottle or baby food or just space to be able to interact with her child whilst eating and drinking herself.

You say there were no other free tables... but the table you wanted to sit at wasn't free either? Was this literally the only single free seat in the cafe or was it less intimidating for you to go and sit with a mum and a baby who didn't want you than to join a table with two or three people who also didn't want you to sit with them???

I wouldn't stop from breastfeeding because someone had moved into the space I was in.

YWBU. I can’t bear table sharing with strangers

In a minority here clearly but YANBU.

My understanding is that a mother and a baby were at a table for 2.

I think it is reasonable to expect that a table for 2 will be used by a single party of 2. I would also be aggrieved if a stranger came along asking to share that space with us because they can't be arsed to wait.

The OP says the space was taken up, not that there was a vacant chair there.

"taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables."

And also

"it was a two-person table and she was sitting at one chair with her pram parked where the second chair would be."

Usually, in a busy cafe, if there isn't space to sit you either wait, stand or take your drink away.

This is why I get sick of the UK or at least the places I’ve stayed in. So many places like cafes are super crowded and you don’t get your personal space if someone decides every inch must be filled.

I wouldn’t dream of asking someone to make room for me at a 2 person table especially not if there two people there - a mum and her baby.

And this is coming from a childfree woman.

Thank you

You can disagree all you like hon

Are all the people who are pro sharing tables understanding that it was a 2-person table and already had two people occupying the space - the Mum and the baby?

I hate when people ask this - particularly when I was breastfeeding. I don’t want to share personal space with someone I don’t know and so often people who ask to share your table want to make small talk. I probably would have said yes to be polite but I doubt I would have looked delighted about it.