If you had the chance to put your Dc in private school, would you?

Both DDs are in a London prep school. We were financially in a position to do it without any sacrifices and still able to fund extras like holidays, decent house and uni & housing costs. Small class sizes of about 12, support for teaching (lots of sessions led by specialist teachers and TAs). Curriculum includes ballet for all pupils, PE 3 times a week, specialist art, science, French and music teachers/facilities, overnight residentials from Year 3, enrichment clubs for all year groups 5 days a week, after school childcare available with a request on the day, 11+ prep with their whole cohort instead of doing it on their own with a tutor. Lovely parent community who are all well-educated and comfortable, with similar educational values.

Local primary schools are good but don't offer anywhere near the experience. We plan to send dds to an independent secondary when they are older. Grammar schools don't exist in central London areas and although there are outstanding comps with good results, the class sizes are far bigger and the facilities are nowhere near as nice, so the private offers a much more pleasant experience.

It depends on what is meant by "opportunity"

If it was pay for it ourselves (we did) I would - and did Or if I couldn't pay for it myself but applied for and got good financial aid, I would. If it was have a grandparent pay for it and get a say in schools/education, I would probably pass.

yes - I would love for them to have the benefit of smaller classes and more individual attention. But I couldn’t afford to send them both without major sacrifices

We did. Our state options were pretty depressing and we were lucky enough to have an excellent independent school relatively close by and we could afford it.

Smaller class sizes (particularly for DS who would have struggled in a class of 30x children), lots of sport which was important for DC, opportunities for drama and music. Teachers that really cared about the children and had time to get to know them personally. Specialist teachers/lessons from fairly early on. Doing well was celebrated and aspirational rather than being seen as being a ‘geek’ or a ‘try hard’. Very few behaviour issues. Encouragement to try things, go ‘off piste’ with the timetable, trips, speakers and links with the local community. A mix of children from different families/backgrounds and culturally diverse.

We were lucky and both DC did really well and had a great school experience. But there are good and bad private schools and good and bad state schools. It’s a huge commitment so you have to be sure that you’re getting value for money.

no

This is how I feel. Though it’s easy to say ‘no’ when you’ve got a very academic child who’s done extremely well at school ‘despite’ being in a standard comprehensive and is now at Oxford uni.
I have a sneaking suspicion that if my child been really struggling in his comprehensive, or had special educational needs that weren’t being met at his school, then if I’d had the money I’d have sacrificed my principles and gone private. I would absolutely hate that I had to though. I want all kids to have access to high quality education.

No.

DS was going through a really difficult point at primary and he and his mate were being bullied. We seriously looked into alternative options. We have friends with kids at private school who are doing amazingly well.

BUT they don't have many friends and much of a social life because they live so far from their class mates. That makes things tough.

And they aren't doing amazingly better than other friends kids who have gone to the local high school. So where's the benefit ultimately!

DS currently has a very close friend who he's exceeding close to. In the end we felt we'd ultimately do more harm to them both if we moved him. It's a friendship we feel is likely to be one of those that runs from nursery to the end of school. It's a rare thing and he's so lucky to have it. We feel that's something that you can't buy.

He has lots of opportunities outside school. We do our best to facilitate them. If he went private he'd actually lose out on a lot of these because of how much time he'd spend travelling to and from school. Yes he could do some things in private school but not all. It wouldn't be a step up, just a step sideways.

I am unconvinced that private school is the great networking opportunity many suggest either. Those who I know who went private really don't have those contacts. Several of them have very average jobs and are very mediocre as individuals. Over confident and arrogant with a lack of self awareness aren't things I particularly wish DS to aspire to.

The class sizes and the attention sound appealing but it also narrows the pool of people you can socialise with - both as acquaintances and as friends. There's a kid around the corner who was in my son's class. He was pulled out and sent private. Poor kid just hangs out with his older brother now and is reliant on mum taking him everywhere. He really could have done with socialising with kids from a range of backgrounds (various specific reasons) but instead his world has got narrower.

Meanwhile bullying over - DSs confidence is great. His friend is a massive part of that. They are so positive and supportive of each other. He's a bit of an oddfish but he feels he belongs all the same. I can't tell you how much I wish I'd had that at his age.

There's moments we wobble and think 'what if' but no I don't he'd benefit enough to make it worthwhile.

it totally depends on the private school. I don’t understand the attitude that you just pay any school and it’s superior to state school- seems really naive

Both my children went. The oldest went at 14, previously in a good state school, but suffered gender and sexuality bullying and needed to move as school did nothing. I went private because it was the only place they could do the same GCSE’s. The pastoral care there was brilliant. Other child was told at 10, they were not really suitable for mainstream secondary school as SATS too low. The private school took them and they got 8 grade 6s at gcse. They needed a lot of extra help but got a rounded education and made brilliant friends.
IMO it does depend where you live and the quality / availability of schooling.

Hard no. Essential for me that my DC mix with a range of children.

Absolutely not. Having met products of private and public and state schools, state wins every time. State educated people are so so so much nicer.

No. GPs offered to pay but we politely declined.

I -almost- totally agree with @jackiesgirl- my youngest is about to leave the state school that all 3 DC have gone to.

DC2 is exceptionally good at Maths, and when he enquired about getting any support with applying to Oxford and help writing his personal statement the Head of Maths rang me to say that due to the fact they were so inundated with everything, they would be unable to offer him any help. That was a little bit tough. Not that we had the money to send him to private school so it’s just theoretical, but I do feel sorry for him because the teaching he got was average and nothing was done to nurture his love of the subject.

We did. Because from 8 specialist:

English
Maths
French
Ancient History/classics
Geography
Science
History

teaching at a top of the league tables school. He took the test and passed. It was a no brainer.

Never. Completely morally opposed to it. I’m living proof you can do well academically without paying a penny (and better than some on my degree course who must’ve spent silly money on their education). I don’t believe in leg ups, jobs from connections etc, it’s everything that’s wrong with society.

I looked at private schools and grammar schools. Preferred the grammar and they get better results. Also larger classes for more friendship opportunities. So private not always the best!

We can easily afford to but haven't. We figured we'd give state a go and see how they get on. It's much more convenient having them at a school a ten minute walk away and with local friends.

If we need to move to private later we will, but in the meantime we're putting the money saved aside for their house deposit later on. The way the housing market is I suspect the ability to get on the housing ladder in their 20s will make more of a difference to their life overall.

You know she can read books at home too right?

We ignored the book band thing...

The comments are not far off 50/50. The poll didn’t make sense so invalid. Anyway, spunking what half a million pounds on schooling which 50% of parents wouldn’t choose anyway, seems a bit wasteful. Could give them a mortgage free house at 18 instead!

Why does it matter?

I’ve answered op. Despite looking at what our closest private schools have to offer it’s state school all the way for both of my dc!

No and I went to private school.

he or they? Which is it??9

From what I've heard, many private schools aren't really equipped to deal with pupils who don't fit in, or are difficult. Happy to be put right.

Blarno it's a bit like that where we live.

The privates tend to pick up a lot of "rich but dim" types who's parents suddenly realise around y3/4 (having started in state) that they won't make grammar.

The preps then tend to focus not on getting DC into grammar but on the independent secondaries, which where we live are not academic because bright DC go to grammar. Lots of those preps also steer towards boarding at secondary which is not something I'd consider for mine.

It depends. What age are they? How are there state schools? Are they happy? There's a lot to be said for stability. Depending on age, how does dc feel about it? All of that would impact my decisions (as someone who went to private school and dc is at state but very good school, very happy, stable, friends, I feel they have the opportunities I had so far).