If you had the chance to put your Dc in private school, would you?

No. I went to one myself for a few years so I've seen both sides of things, and I wouldn't ever choose to send my kids to one.

I'd rather spend money outside of school hours letting the kids follow their interests and try new things.

No chance. I have no doubt the education is better, but I want my kids to mix with a variety of people and I think that is an important part of education too. I also think if you're smart that it doesn't matter what school you go to, my DH was in a deprived area and has always been very successful, top marks in Universityand all through life. We are also lucky to live in a nice area so our state schools are all very good so when considering those other factors, I'd day it was the better option. I'd also rather put that money towards a house deposit for DC instead.

It's very traumatic having to move back from a private school to a state school.
People keep saying this, which makes me think, yes absolutely I would. Can you imagine switching jobs as an adult, and finding your new place traumatic, but having to go there for the next 5/7 years?! I don’t think we’d stick with that for ourselves, so why do our developing, anxious balls of hormones have to?!
As for the ethical issues- before it was benign vs state schools but now you’d be paying the additional tax contribution surely it’s more ethical to go private and give the state sector that boost?
For my DC it would entirely depend on the school, as some independents are pushy and hothousy which wouldn’t suit my one DC - other DC might actually thrive though, needs that kick up the arse lol - but the majority seem to focus on their excellent pastoral care, and being all round a lovely, calm, nurturing environment with more time for each student to learn and be heard.
This is possible in some state schools but we know the reality is not everywhere can offer this sadly. I’m not sure if this VAT will have the desired effect but all this debate is certainly publicising the benefits of independents in my view.

No. I really have a strong visceral reaction to private education, I'm deeply uncomfortable with it.

No, because we are in an area with excellent grammar schools. Probably the same area as @arethereanyleftatall. Locally DC go to the private schools if they don’t pass the 11 plus.

DH got a job offer back where he grew up - the schools were not good so we would have paid for private schools there.

I don’t think my kids would appreciate it as they are in their 20s 😂

But seriously, I would have only if it was genuinely the best option for them. The class sizes could have been smaller to GCSE, but the state secondary they went to was ideal for them and they have gone on to thrive as young adults.

One caveat - this was a state school in an affluent area - the catchment was wide enough to make it diverse but no real problems with disruption / bullying. The private options were not especially highly regarded. Look closely at what all the options are really like.

No i wouldn't. I would feel uncomfortable and I like the fact my kids mix with a range of people from different backgrounds and not cut off from this.

No, not all are but many are. I should know as I work in many of them!

Yes absolutely. It is dependent on the child and the local state school.
DC attends a highly rated state school, very bright but is waiting for ASD/adhd diagnosis and support. Had signs in primary but has gradually become a real challenge as he as moved from
primary to secondary. Has taken 2 years to get support and evidence for referral and thought hard, felt manageable until recently. School situation is now very difficult (inconsistent support to seat him near front, remind him of task when he zones out). He is achieving several grades lower than his predicted. Frequent detentions for zoning out, appearing rude (missing social cues), not doing enough work. 😞 Waiting list for support is 2 years by which time he will have finished. Will be getting private diagnosis, counselling and meds. £££& and only marginally quicker. It is school ie. almost everyday of life right now that doesn’t work for him and spills out into homelife.
If we had chosen private years ago, the small classes and familiar teaching team would have saved us from the very low place that we are in now. His personal situation means that a move now will be just as difficult (and selective schools won’t want him).
a crystal
ball a few year back would have been life changing. Now we are shovelling through shit trying to keep him in school and maintain MH.
In contrast youngest DC does attend indie school for SEN, is thriving and full of happy confidence about his prospects.
Not interested I. Private school for sale of high grades.. just want them reach potential and have good MH

I used to think no I wouldn't. My kids are nearly finished school and I wish I had. They've got immaculate grades but it's the extra stuff that would have helped

There are state schools just like this - they’re not all hell hole borstals

We could send our child to private school. We have kept her at our state school because it happens to be excellent and provides certain opportunities not available at any of the private schools in our area. If the school ever stopped working for her, we would move her. We live near an excellent school with strong parental support. It did take some strategizing and a lot of luck to be able to afford a home that gave us access.

We already have a relationship with one of the private schools because we have used them for summer and occasional extracurricular activities for years. They know DD and like her so if there is a spot open she would have a very good chance of admittance.

And our private school is very inclusive. Lots of neurodiversity (DDs best friend often has meltdowns in class), some county level sports, others very non sporty but many other clubs and interests celebrated. Each child is treated as an individual and their needs are catered for. Every teacher knows every child very well. Complete respect between teachers and pupils so no strict and ridiculous rules are needed. It’s a delight to supply there. I was there for 2 weeks and the naughtiest thing that happened was that a class played a prank on a teacher for April fool and they all moved their desks back a few cm everytime his back was turned. Everyone laughed about it

I’m a secondary supply teacher so visit many over the year. I wouldn’t send my dog to most of them. Most parents would be horrified if they really knew what a day at a conp was like. Hence I send my private albeit with a very good scholarship and bursary.

Or those who don't excel at sports (ie county level)

“Several of them have very average jobs and are very mediocre as individuals. Over confident and arrogant with a lack of self awareness aren't things I particularly wish DS to aspire to.”

This! I see it all the time in the workplace. I think the excellent academic achievements can give adults a really warped view of their abilities outside of the private school bubble. I imagine it’s not great for their mental health when the penny drops either.

I feel the same and we could afford to. I have been to both and private isn’t a better. There is such a strange fascination with private and it being a better option. I disagree totally.

I did - after two years of ruinous state education where DD was one of the quiet away with the clouds ones in a class of 35 it became necessary

best ever move for her - has helped her achieve her academic potential

No. Our local state school gets very good exam results and is generally very supportive. One of my friends has just moved their child from the private school to the state school where she is much happier. I would have considered the private school if either of my kids was unhappy at the state school. Dd got 9s and a couple of 8s in her gcses and straight As in her A levels. Neither of my kids is interested in sport which is the main advantage of the private school. I think you should base your decision on which school is the best fit for your child.

No I didn't. They went to local Comp ( takes pupils from Inner City and further out.) Didn't stop them going to Russell Group Uni / Oxbridge.

I chose a Comp because I think it is very helpful in life and in most careers, if you have met a wide range of people and got on with them. I wanted them to have their eyes opened to how all sorts of people live their lives. It has helped them both a lot in being able to relate to all comers in their chosen professions.

Getting our children in good boarding schools was the best decision we could make for them education and networking wise. We made sure we had plenty of time during school holidays together, but zero regrets.

DS went to private school, he was bright and loved sport so was the right fit for him. He’s no shrinking violet but would have been happy to just mooch along. Unfortunately the pandemic and DH and I both having serious health conditions during his crucial years meant he probably didn’t achieve what he was capable of but he did far better than anticipated.
The fit was good because he was surrounded by other bright, slightly geeky children, even the popular ones.

Distraction was not tolerated and there was a zero tolerance with behaviour. Bullying was low level and DS loved school. The friends he made are likely to be lifelong and he continues to play the sport he loves. Although an injury put him out for the last 18mnths. He is currently sporting a lovely black eye after playing yesterday. But he happily plays for a team where he was a newcomer, only knowing a couple of other players.
There is definitely a comfortable confidence in social situations which was definitely encouraged from an early age. His uni mates were surprised that he was privately educated but his school are careful discourage arrogance and elitism. Even the uniform was understated ( not always popular with some parents who would have liked fancy caps and blazers).
But by far the biggest benefit was the huge variety of extracurricular activities, particularly sport, with something for everyone. I think the greatest loss to state schools was the sport back in the 1980s when teachers went on strike and refused to support extracurricular sport. It wiped out any opportunity for children who didn’t have the support of parents to become involved. Sadly school sports never fully recovered.

For me the 30k a yr per dc would be noticed & Im not sure how much value it would add as dc are bright & we have good state options. If it was cheaper or someone else paid I would consider.

Slightly different, but I am trying to get my daughter into an independent private SEN school. The difference between council and independent is massive. So yes.

I don't think the economic realities or society in general is going to get any easier in the next 20 years so no matter how principled I am about equality and equal opportunity for all, I've come to terms with belt a hypocrite if it means my kids has a better chance of being a have rather than a have not.

I agree switch things getting harder but wonder if private school will be seen in a negative light.