If you had the chance to put your Dc in private school, would you?

I can’t admit that I don’t think it’s worth it, simply because I don’t believe that. It’s been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. And your description of a private education are completely at odds with the one my children are receiving. It clearly makes you feel better to think otherwise though.

Handholding and tutoring children to within an inch of their lives
I think you are confusing teaching with lack of teaching. There is no handholding. A PP was lauding how their wonderful state school provided extra lessons for students with potentials for 8/9s - is that hand holding? the students have to sit the exams. Tutoring does happen a lot in state - parents on this thread openly admit that they would supplement their child’s state school teaching with tutoring with the money saved, which is perfectly reasonable.

Sport is played for fun, team working, commitment, dedication - it’s not just for winning. Dragging yourselves out at 8am on a rainy Saturday in Winter so you don’t let your team down, pick each other up for the next game if your lose, no complacency if you win, support a teammate who has a bad game and laud one that played well. Having said that, ours does play state and private school teams.

So what if you are in the top set of two (or bottom)? I don’t think the set placement is an achievement - it’s for learning at the appropriate pace and should be fluid.

It seem to me that despite your years of experience much of what we want from education has been lost on you.

And that’s my view, from the standpoint of someone who’s worked in the education sector for decades. just a view, and I’m aware no private parent ( unless their child leaves private) would ever agree with that! As it’s been said before - the private sector is the Emperor’s New Clothes and once you’re in it and paying 10’000s of thousands it’s very difficult to admit that it’s not worth it

It seems other teachers disagree with you on that. For us, it is worth the money as we can chose the right school for our child to have an enjoyable educational experience and not be dictated by catchment. If the state could provide the same then I would be very happy to go with state.

You also seemed to have missed that our local state schools are not ethnically diverse. Maybe slightly more economically diverse but not much in it at all.

No. I am philosophically opposed to being able to buy a better education

Yes, me, too but won’t let my principles overrule something as fundamental as my children’s education.
No different in many ways to those who buy expensive property in the catchment of good schools (FGS it’s even in the estate agent’s particulars when buying/selling) or those that attend church for 2 years to gain a place at the local religious school.

100% yes. The state schools where I am are diabolical. Both of my younger two would have benefitted from smaller class sizes .

Yes. I would always choose smaller class sizes and, therefore, the likelihood of more individual attention. Also, the sports and music resources are usually of a higher standard and better quality.

I don't live in a grammar school area, and the very large local secondary school sounds to have a dubious reputation (and a long-standing track record of not dealing well with bullying). The much smaller independent secondary school, on the other hand, is apparently one of the best in the UK, so I'd pick that one any day of the week!

Ironically private schools are the exact opposite. Handholding and tutoring children to within an inch of their lives, everyone’s parents wealthy and from similar backgrounds, fewer students to foster any real competition - it’s easy to get in the football team when there’s only 11 girls interested in playing, it’s easy to ‘win’ trophies’ when that team only plays other private schools, it’s easy to be ‘top set’ when there IS only 2 sets ….
And that’s my view, from the standpoint of someone who’s worked in the education sector for decades. just a view, and I’m aware no private parent ( unless their child leaves private) would ever agree with that! As it’s been said before - the private sector is the Emperor’s New Clothes and once you’re in it and paying 10’000s of thousands it’s very difficult to admit that it’s not worth it.

It’s so interesting to hear that so many people are complaining about the quality of their local school and unhappy with the lack of extra curricular activities and large class sizes. This is all down to funding and represents years of underfunding by the government.
Teaching is a hard job, perhaps if your local schools are below par that people considering private schools spend some time campaigning for more funding to level the playing field rather than having an ‘I’m alright’ view.
Great to hear that some people are shunning the private sector to allow their children to lead a more realistic life.
If it were up to me there would be no private schools. Those rich people who have enough money to spend on education could pay more tax and then it could be spent on making all schools better, give everyone a class of 15 and specialist extra curricular activities and then see what happens to society.

Which one?

So many on here purport to have attended a 'prestigious' school and yet would not send their own children to any private school. It's hilarious, 'prestigious' is not even a word alumni use to describe their previous schools.

I can not think of one single person from my peer group with child attending a state school, not one nor can my husband. Assume you arent a subscriber to Tatler?.

Do people really believe a parent schooled in 60 acre complexes, with climbing walls, pools with diving boards, amphitheatres, and access to well respected sports coaches opt to abandon all of that for a local comprehensive school struggling to provide access to a teaching assistant? That just doesn't happen outside of Mumsnet.

I can understand why you would be put off from your personal experience but surely you can see that not all private schools are like that? Just like I know not all state schools are the Wild West.

No. I am philosophically opposed to being able to buy a better education and loathe the acceptance of this structure. Have plenty of friends who have used private and I can see the reason why some have ended up there for their particular child but I wouldn’t.

This. And we didn't at secondary either.

I once worked with a man who went to State school, absolute thug
Put me right off sending mine to State.

I went to private school and hated every second of it. I was made to feel a failure by my parents and the school (all of whom ignored the fact that I was horrendously bullied throughout)
My DCs went to state schools, did extremely well and have great careers; private wasn’t an option but I wouldn’t have sent them if it had been.

We wanted a richer, competitive environment for our kids, where they were among a diverse group of their peers

Yes - this is what DCs’ private schools provide compared with the state and one of the main reasons we went for private.

We did. DS1 has complex disabilities and he wasn’t offered suitable state provision for several years until he was found a space at a suitable special school. In the meantime we either homeschooled (meaning I would have to give up my job) or went private. It wasn’t something we’d considered previously. DS1 had a positive experience in a private school which met his needs brilliantly (I believe many other private schools wouldn’t be able to). DS2 thrived and remains in the private system. He excels in a hobby which is generally perceived as ‘girly’, but which at his school is a major part of school life. He hopes it will become his career. For us, it was which school is most appropriate for each of our children. They just happened to be private.

Like everything there are advantages and disadvantages for both, mine went for primary school and the foundations that were laid were very good. And it was very nurturing at that stage I think it possibly changed into senior school but all of mine passed the 11+ and went into good state secondaries.

No

Depending on the child i would home school by preference.

No. We could afford to and I wouldn’t in a million years.
We wanted a richer, competitive environment for our kids, where they were among a diverse group of their peers.

It’s easy not to agree with the concept when you have decent state school provision

Im not sure to be honest. I work with a young man who has come from private school and he’s such an entitled prick it’s put me off sending mine (although I can’t afford it for two, we did think about it for our first before we had our second). Saying that some of my friends kids go and they are doing some amazing extra curricular things and getting a lot of support for careers planning etc.

There is no magic in the school being private. It’s that having the money to go private opens up a greater choice of schools overall. People who live in certain urban areas have a good selection due to the density of local schools and academisation. They have real choice that allows them to match their particular child to a school that will fit their needs.

The current education secretary seems intent upon taking away any meaningful independence within the state sector and dumbing down the curriculum. The option of private schools is accessible to even fewer children now.

If you can afford £30/k per child and climbing, I would not hesitate if it means matching my child to the right environment for them. Nothing is more importantly. It’s a huge parental responsibility to ensure one’s children are well educated. At the same time, we all have to keep a roof over our heads!

We chose private education for our children after our eldest was failed by our local ‘outstanding’ primary. He was in the forgotten middle - not one of the children getting attention from the teacher due to poor behaviour, nor one of those getting attention for being academically gifted. So he was just left to bumble along before we realised he had significant gaps in his knowledge. Options for other local state schools were poor so private it was.
We’ve not looked back. Classes are smaller, pastoral care is excellent (including specialist support for mental health from a trained professional), sport is plentiful and the arts are treated with the importance they deserve. Specialist teaching in most subjects from year 3 (earlier for sport, music and MFL). As a pp said, it’s not economically diverse but it’s far more ethnically diverse than our local state schools in rural Devon.

Yes if money was no object, and it meant we could still do other nice things.

We did it because the State Secondary is so bad that even teachers who work there told me to find an alternative. I also did some research and knowing DD I decided it was completely unsuitable for her. The nearest alternative (Grammar) is 30 minutes away by bus and while we could have tried for another State Secondary closer its not great either.
We have a lovely private school less than 5 minutes walk from us and DD got a part scholarship so we would have been daft not to send her, DS followed.

Yes, I did.
With a 50% scholarship and a huge bursary, it made sense. The majority of the state schools around my area are not great, and the brilliant (previously oversubscribed) Catholic secondary has gone progressively downhill.
She's done very well and the pastoral care had been amazing. I truly appreciated it during and post COVID.