If you had the chance to put your Dc in private school, would you?

So Welsh then? It is fantastic that they provide teaching through Welsh.

Sorry, I misunderstood but I think you said something along the lines of if you needed to you would have (I can’t find the post I am referring fo)

You still can’t recognise your own/son’s privilege

You appear to be very worried about the state education system at present however this does not justify your hysterical and offensive response to my post.
Correcting your outlandish and ill-founded assumptions would be deprecating which would be unkind and possibly out me.
I made my decision between state and public provision a long time ago; no doubt you’re considering it now when, possibly, times have changed but do remember that what you read on here is not typical of all schools.
The state schools available to my children might be vastly different to those available to you in your role as a parent (assuming you are one). Imo an outsider looking at a public school has a different perception to my experience which I was determined my children wouldn’t endure. Their state schools served them well, very well indeed. I wish the same for you.

Yes. DS got a scholarship to attend UWC for the IB. Best decision ever to let him attend. I think with flights, insurance, visa etc we spent around £8k a year. Was a stretch but luckily only for 2 years

I used to have a massive chip on my shoulder about private education, and 5 years ago I’d have put ‘absolutely not’ as my response to this. Then my DD started having a horrendous time at her state school, and my principles flew out the window in a bid to make life bearable for her. She’s now in a private school and it’s been completely transformative for her. The teaching, facilities and pastoral care have been absolutely outstanding, and the other kids weren’t the stuck-up snobs I’d imagined. Just like in her state school there were some whose behaviour can be challenging, but the school has the time and resources to deal with them appropriately, whereas in her state school they were just so stretched.

I had a lot of prejudices from my own schooling experience, but that was 30 years ago and things have changed. Yes of course there are still many wonderful state schools, and many shit private ones, but for us it was the right decision.

Yes I would again
We put our three through private school because they were the best schools we could find.

At least your’re honest that you used money to tutor for grammar.

We didn't tutor! DD wanted to be with her friends so she went to our local catchment school not the grammar. She didn't want to go to the girls grammar school and having heard about the friendship issues and EDs from friends I'm glad that she didn't. Like I say, I think giving her a chunk of money for a house deposit and paying for driving lessons will be far more beneficial to her in the long run.

Please can you post the stats on sexual assaults in mixed secondary schools, ideally state and private?

Nope. We could afford it but haven’t.

The pretence that people who send their child to a state school in fact only do so because they’ve used their privilege otherwise, to tutor for a selective, or buy an expensive house in the catchment of an excellent school, is just not generally true.

Also ignores the fact many who go private live in the catchment for decent states and also tutor.

I considered applying for a scholarship for my eldest as he was very bright. I am a middle earner, the scholarship didn't cover the full fee, I could have covered the remaining amount but there wouldn't be much left over. I worried that he wouldn't fit in with other pupils as he would not have the same luxuries they have, him having a sense of belonging and being happy felt more important to me. I had a few friends who went to private school, on the whole they were doing no better than those of us who went to state school so I also considered that it may not make any difference to his academic achievement and future career. I'm sure the stats show privately educated people do better in life but I wonder how much of that is down to other factors such as parents value of education, children who are raised with good manners and social etiquette, good connections for future employment as they're already part of a well connected family. It's even possible the traits that led to their parents being successful could be passed on to children through genetics or through socialisation from a young age- IQ, resilience, determination etc.
In answer to the question, I would consider sending them if I was very wealthy and confident I could keep up with a lifestyle my children would see their peers experiencing, otherwise I would not send them

What nonsense. This is the silly, blinkered faux logic of people who can’t understand why someone who could buy privilege won’t . DS goes to the geographically nearest school, and has always done so, wherever we’ve lived, and we’ve chosen where to live for proximity to work, currently in a very mixed area near the city centre. He is not tutored, hasn’t the remotest interest in music lessons, the football club he goes to is in a deprived area, and costs almost nothing, books from the library are free. He certainly won’t have a house deposit. We are supporting our parents, who live on tiny state pensions. There won’t be an inheritance. The only privilege he has isn’t economic, and that’s attuned parents. Like the vast majority of other children who attend middle-of-the road state schools, he will be fine.

The pretence that people who send their child to a state school in fact only do so because they’ve used their privilege otherwise, to tutor for a selective, or buy an expensive house in the catchment of an excellent school, is just not generally true.

At least your’re honest that you used money to tutor for grammar.
Many on this thread who self righteously declare they use state for the greater good of all children cannot see the privilege their DC have over many within England - tutoring, books at home, music lessons, sports clubs, parents who are engaged enough to plan for the children’s future (house deposits) etc and I would bet: a decent house in the catchment area of a pretty decent state school.

No. I'd rather my DD had the money for driving lessons, house deposit, uni costs etc. Her secondary school was definitely average and had the usual behavioural problems but she did well and is absolutely thriving at 6th form college. If we were in an area where she's likely to be stabbed or live in fear at school maybe we'd have reconsidered.

(In reality we'd have probably done what every other person round here seems to do and tutor the hell out of her to get her into the very selective grammar.)

No, but only because we live in proximity to an excellent state school that our dcs loved and thrived at. They have come out as confident and happy as I ever could have hoped, the level of support from teachers and the school was very good, they have both done very well academically, they have an amazing community of friends and they have gone out into the world fully competent at mixing with all strata of society; their friends vary between private and state and l’ve noticed that in our little bubble it would be difficult to tell the difference between who went where. I’m very happy that we opted to save money and go state - financially, going private would have been a huge sacrifice for us.

I must admit I’m a little judgy of parents who have access to good state schools who make the choice to flagellate themselves on the altar of private education if it involves massive compromises. However, I totally understand why some parents whose only state choices are so dire they would do whatever they can to send their children private. So to me, your question op really depends on what the state options are like near you and how much the implications of private education are going to impact you and your family.

If it was a good school, better than local state schools, and seemed to fit my child's educational and other needs, yes of course I would.

It really upsets me on these threads where private kids are dismissed as entitled twats and spoonfed dimwits. I've taught in both sectors and there are all kinds of kids in all kinds of schools. The difference is that private schools are able to.remove the most disruptive or disengaged, though you naturally get fewer of those. The vast majority of kids I encounter in the private sector are wonderful young people, motivated, driven, entirely aware that their world is rarefied and actually, through exposure to international boarders and those who really scrape to afford fees, are in the midst of a very diverse group, just more culturally diverse than economic. At the pit village comp down the road it's 98% white British and economically homogenous.

When my 2nd child was approaching reception age they were already reading fluently and doing arithmetic. We went to the local state primary's open day and asked how they would handle the child's ability. The head told us that they had never allowed a child to work significantly ahead of age-related expectations and that when they had previously had a child who was significantly ahead in maths they had put him to work teaching fractions to the other kids. It was clear that our child would not be given appropriate work, would not be challenged, and would instead be used as fertiliser to bring up the others, and expected to sacrifice their own progress to work as an unpaid teaching assistant.
We went private. No regrets and would do it again. Our child was appropriately challenged, worked years ahead on maths with the support of the school and had a roaring time participating and competing in many other areas.
It shouldn't be necessary to go private, but the sad fact is that, at least with the options open to us, it was necessary. For us, it wasn't about networking or privileged connections when you leave, but having your needs met and not being bored rigid while there.

The state system, as it currently is, seems to do a reasonable job with kids that are not too far from the middle of the ability distribution, but does a rotten job with those at both extremes. The state SEN system is in disarray and for the most part there is no meaningful extension for those in the top couple of % of ability within the state sector.

Delighted your child was so well supported. For balance, my dc has been supported at an independent school in a similar way. There are good and bad schools - both state and private. There are gems of academic and pastoral staff in both sectors too.

No - DD is academic and made it to Grammar school and the ones she could get scholarships for are not as academic

DS isn’t sporty and doesn’t like eating school lunch both of which are things he would need for the private school he would attend near us

so it depends on the school and the child. DH and I were both privately educated though I left at 16. Mine suited me until 15 and out grew it DH got a music scholarship to a top London one (still highly sort after) and struggled socially

Always interested in those who say they chosen state so their children learn to mix with all types of people.

All I learnt was to keep my head down and dim my brightness. It was a relief once lessons were set by ability, and all those friends were exactly like me.

I definitely didn't maximise my potential and this wasn't a bad school and was before any of the recent issues schools face - covid, SEN crisis etc.

Let’s hope that professional footballers don’t dare have a kick about in the garden with their own kids.

It's also important to get divorced, make sure you are in insecure rented accommodation that you can be forced to move from regularly, with ongoing maintenance/damp/mould issues and nowhere quiet for DC to do homework, distribute all your money to the poor and live on the breadline ensuring you child sometimes goes to school hungry, and make sure your children have no access to any educational or cultural museum or theatre visits or overseas trips or music lessons or anything else of added-value extracurricular, or get any kind of input to raise their aspirations, otherwise they will have advantages.

Or you can acknowledge that of course your children are going to have advantages, stop being so smug, and ensure you raise them with an understanding that their advantages are a privilege not a right and that they should have nothing but admiration for the achievements of anyone who they encounter who didn't have those advantages.

I do wonder if the ‘I don’t want my children to have an advantage over other children’ extend that to not using private healthcare? I’d bet that very few do.