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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel uncomfortable that my boyfriend’s best friend is a woman he used to sleep with?

110 replies

TicklishCoralScroller · 06/04/2025 18:31

They’re close - talk regularly, meet up for drinks, share memes etc. He’s been upfront about the fact that they used to sleep together years ago but says they’ve moved past it and are “just friends.” I try not to be insecure but I can’t help feeling weird about it. If the roles were reversed, I think he’d be uncomfortable. AIBU to say it bothers me and ask him to dial things back?

OP posts:
Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 06/04/2025 19:02

Nope, I wouldn't be putting up with this at all.

Wildflowers99 · 06/04/2025 19:00

He fancies her and she’s friend zoned him.

latetothefisting · 06/04/2025 18:57

Up to you
While I can see why you don't like it, there's a chance if you gave him an ultimatum he'd pick his best friend over someone he hasn't been dating that long...

ohyesido · 06/04/2025 18:55

I would hate it but unfortunately you’ll be told that your jealous and insecure and that you should be her bestie and invite her to live with you

Imsodepressediactlikeitsmybirthday · 06/04/2025 18:40

Stop wasting your time. You can’t dictate to him, but you don’t feel comfortable with this and you never will (because it’s fucking weird), so cut your losses and find someone who isn’t besties with their ex fuckbuddy.

TicklishCoralScroller · 06/04/2025 18:38

ohyesido · 06/04/2025 18:33

How long have you been together?

We’ve been together for about a year. Things are good overall but this is the one thing that makes me feel a bit uneasy.

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 06/04/2025 18:37

yes I couldn’t be arsed with that either.

Init4thecatz · 06/04/2025 18:36

Some would say that your partner has no right to dictate who you are friends with. I've seen this many times on MN when the roles were reversed.

I think this all depends on the person.

Imsodepressediactlikeitsmybirthday · 06/04/2025 18:33

Nah, this shit wouldn’t fly with me.

ohyesido · 06/04/2025 18:33

How long have you been together?

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