Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this is not nice of Richard E Grant

255 replies

StripesZigZags · 06/04/2025 16:14

and can't be swept aside as "just a joke".

Interview with him in the Times Style magazine today. He tells the interviewer (Vassi Chamberlain) that he writes a diary every night as if he is writing to his wife. She asks him what the entry about today and their interview would say and this is the end of the article. For context earlier in the article she says that after she asked him a question when he'd finished answering he'd "fire the same" quesiton back at her which is probably how he had the additional information.

Here is the quote:

"What will tonight’s account say, I ask. He bursts out laughing.

He sits up and clears his throat as if he’s about to perform at the Old Vic.

“Astonishingly,” he begins, “the journalist was 4ft 11in.” I stop him right there. I’m 5ft 1in. “She’s 5ft 1in. Her face looks like a roadmap because she had head and neck cancer 14 years ago, which she luckily survived, but because of it she’s not allowed to have plastic surgery. All her girlfriends now look 40 years old but her jawline is hanging around her knees and in ten years she will tie a bow with her dyed hair around her chin in a tight knot and she’ll look like the Queen at Balmoral.”

Ouch."

I read that and thought "what a bitch of a man". I've never really liked him - his Instagram videos where he's constantly smiling with a fake smile that never reaches his eyes always seem ultra insincere as he pontificates about how wonderful the day or the tree or the park is. This really exposes the heart of a person.

I guess everyone him included will try to justify it as a joke but it's very nasty - making the point that her short height is 'astonishing' like some circus freak, her face looking like a road map. I think her finishing 'ouch' was really very understated and kind.

Vassi Chamberlain | The Times & The Sunday Times

Vassi Chamberlain is a writer for The Times and The Sunday Times. She has interviewed everyone from Henry Kissinger and Pamela Anderson, to Alexander McQueen. Vassi has also written about the downfall

https://www.thetimes.com/profile/vassi-chamberlain

OP posts:
StripesZigZags · 07/04/2025 14:30

*sorry - not everyone, some people.

OP posts:
StripesZigZags · 07/04/2025 14:29

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 06/04/2025 19:09

So rather than believe a man (even a famous one) is an arsehole so far we’ve had:

he had a bad day
he was drunk
he was on drugs
he is mentally ill
it’s a joke
she said it
she set him up
she deserved it.

Or maybe, just maybe… the man can be an arsehole?

I think this is about fame. The excuses on this thread (some of which are unbelievable suggesting that the interviewer invited it - even if you sit there and say you think are fat and ugly, it's really not OK for someone to repeat that back to you even if you said it yourself. It's not OK and its not funny.) really show that once people are a fan of someone they have a fixed one-dimensional of that person as All Good or All Bad.

People in real life are not like that. We all have the capability to be nice most of the time but think horrible things and say horrible things about others for all kinds of reasons. Some people have the capability (actors especially) to present as one thing forward facing publicly but to be a totally different person behind closed doors. Real people are not one dimensional.

This was a nasty thing to say and it's not funny. The fact the interviewer wrote 'Ouch' indicates how she felt about it.

I bet if you, or someone you love - a daughter, mother, sister - who'd suffered with cancer came home and repeated that story - how many people's first reach would be 'oh he's a nice man he must have been drunk/mentally ill/joking/repeating back to you what you said.'

Must be great to have a bit of fame. You can get away with being unpleasant and everyone will make excuses.

OP posts:
EscapeTheCastle · 07/04/2025 13:10

Although I've joined in upthread with being disappointed in him I must say I watched Gosford Park again recently and he's very good in that.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2025 11:53

hazelnutvanillalatte · 07/04/2025 10:21

I grew up in San Francisco. I am agreeing with someone's observation. Love your ignorant dismissal.

I grew up in San Francisco. Good for you! I grew up in various parts of Scotland and a large city in the north of England. I've lived in London for over 40 years. Obviously we don't have gay men over here, though, so we wouldn't know anything about them.

<wanders off to bang head against wall>

Craquedechevalier · 07/04/2025 11:50

Just read back a couple of pages. Can't believe the homophobia. Horrible.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2025 11:50

Thanks! But I only thought that after reading your comments, which rang very true to me as observations from someone with experience in this area. I have none, but am just old, and have seen a lot of nonsense in interviews over the years. I don't assume I know people personally just because I've seen them in films or on TV, but from umpteen threads on MN it looks as if some people do think that. They seem to get confused between the characters actors play, and the public persona they adopt for career purposes, and the real person underneath.

Craquedechevalier · 07/04/2025 11:45

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2025 09:21

It is very odd indeed. I know nothing about this journalist but as a result of this thread I did a quick Google search for pictures of her and she looks nothing like what she's quoted him saying. I can only make sense of this by assuming it was a joke that just doesn't come across that way as she's framed it. Why she would do this is beyond me. Why a seasoned professional who's done thousands of promotional interviews would say something so unlikely to come across well in print is also beyond me. Where were the PR people, intervening to say 'You won't be printing that joke, will you?'

Jetlag? Prescription meds causing side effects? He's clearly been hit very hard indeed by his wife's death. I'm not making excuses for him when I say I do wonder if he's got mental health issues. I would be saying the same about a woman quoted as saying something equally strange and hurtful in similar circumstances.

Just noticed that @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g has said what I've been saying rather better than I did. Totally agree that it's bizarre that a seasoned professional should include that anecdote in an article. She added the 'Ouch', too, which made it so much worse. What happened to his PR person?

Craquedechevalier · 07/04/2025 11:37

MarkWithaC · 07/04/2025 08:50

But why would she say, 'Ouch' then? or not at least say something like, 'Ouch. But I did say all these things to him about me, so I guess I brought it on myself.'?

She mentions that he laughs loudly and pulls himself together as if he's about to give a performance at the Old Vic, so it's clear that it's a joke and he's taking the piss out of himself as well as Vassi Chamberlain who, as PPs have said, has written extensively about her issues around her appearance.

It may have been funny between the two of them but she's written it in such a way that it seems initially ambiguous — though less so if you read it carefully.

I'm surprised that a journalist who's apparently interviewed many big names would have included something that was so ambiguous. I'd also have hoped that a sub would read it and ask questions. As I said yesterday, if this blows up nastily, people will refuse to be interviewed by her.

Reader1303 · 07/04/2025 10:53

On her Instagram stories, the journalists promotes the article and says ‘Haven’t stopped laughing since I interviewed this character’. Doesn’t sound like she took it seriously?

LindorDoubleChoc · 07/04/2025 10:51

I think you're right @joliefolle. He might even have been putting it that way to reassure her that he doesn't see it as true. Don't anyone start telling me I'm not a feminist by the way!

joliefolle · 07/04/2025 10:45

The journalist has written articles about her "wonky face" and beauty crisis after cancer (she is fashion, beauty, celeb journalist). In the interview she says they talk about ageing and how it feels, they talk about the reviews of his weird face and whether it affects him, she's told him those things about her face and he's repeated them back to her in a theatrical joke when she asks what he'd tell his wife about who he'd met that day. He has taken it too far. She has taken it badly.

LindorDoubleChoc · 07/04/2025 10:45

On a side note, and to those pp who mentioned Lynn Barber, I have been having a major overhaul and clean out of our book cases this week and I re-discovered her book Demon Barber lurking on the shelves. I cannot wait to read it again, her interviews used to be the absolute highlight of my Sundays.

Has there been discussion about this on X or other platforms? I don't subscribe. I really would like to know what REG has to say.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 07/04/2025 10:21

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2025 08:31

There's a lot of nonsense on this thread but this is right up there.

I grew up in San Francisco. I am agreeing with someone's observation. Love your ignorant dismissal.

PooksBear · 07/04/2025 09:23

What a piece of shit

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2025 09:21

Polecat07 · 07/04/2025 09:11

I watched his episode of Davina McCalls podcast and really loved him.
A very similar moment came up in that she asked him about how he writes to his wife each night, and what kind of things etc.
He mentioned Davina's boots and appearance, saying that's the kind of thing his wife would have asked him and wanted to talk about.
He said to Davina, ohh she'd be asking 'do you think she dyes her hair?' Etc.
I think he's quite odd but not maliciously so. I agree the interview quote OP posted doesn't come across well though.

It is very odd indeed. I know nothing about this journalist but as a result of this thread I did a quick Google search for pictures of her and she looks nothing like what she's quoted him saying. I can only make sense of this by assuming it was a joke that just doesn't come across that way as she's framed it. Why she would do this is beyond me. Why a seasoned professional who's done thousands of promotional interviews would say something so unlikely to come across well in print is also beyond me. Where were the PR people, intervening to say 'You won't be printing that joke, will you?'

Jetlag? Prescription meds causing side effects? He's clearly been hit very hard indeed by his wife's death. I'm not making excuses for him when I say I do wonder if he's got mental health issues. I would be saying the same about a woman quoted as saying something equally strange and hurtful in similar circumstances.

Newgirls · 07/04/2025 09:19

Well done to the journalist for including it.

I can well imagine he is unravelling now he’s lost his wife. I bet she was his anchor.

WorriedMutha · 07/04/2025 09:14

She said that he responded to interview questions by throwing the same question back to the interviewer. There must have been many instances within the course of that interview that she could have included but she ends with that one. It could only have been derived from her responses. In and of itself it would seem cruel but it might not have in the context at the time. I don't know him and haven't heard things about him (he got on the bus I was on in Richmond last Summer). I just can't join in the pile on because I think its equally plausible that the journalist has put a slant on this for impact.

Polecat07 · 07/04/2025 09:11

I watched his episode of Davina McCalls podcast and really loved him.
A very similar moment came up in that she asked him about how he writes to his wife each night, and what kind of things etc.
He mentioned Davina's boots and appearance, saying that's the kind of thing his wife would have asked him and wanted to talk about.
He said to Davina, ohh she'd be asking 'do you think she dyes her hair?' Etc.
I think he's quite odd but not maliciously so. I agree the interview quote OP posted doesn't come across well though.

StillCreatingAName · 07/04/2025 09:09

Hope some posters can get out for some fresh air and vitamin D today. Some of these comments read as though a break from the screens is much needed.

(this really is a bizarre thread)

Rewis · 07/04/2025 09:05

I wasn't too familiar with him. I mean I've seen him in things but had never seen his interviews. I was listening him on the Dish podcast and he came across as a very strange man. I think some of it was supose to be quirky but it came across a bit creepy.

Streaaa · 07/04/2025 09:01

Nasty.
Never gave him any thought but will cross him off as a very nasty little man.

Shame on him.
Good on the journalist for exposing him for the ugly little worm he is.

He's close friends with Clodagh Mckenna, the chef.
Would have thought she'd have better judgement as she comes across well.

MarkWithaC · 07/04/2025 09:00

TorroFerney · 07/04/2025 07:23

To me it says I’m not airing my dirty linen in public so I’m giving you a nothing reply.

I have family who I'm not exactly estranged from, but we hardly see or contact each other. I don't wish to spend time with them because I find them small-minded, ignorant and bigoted about things like race, disability etc. But for most conversations and groups of people I don't want to get into that, so if asked or if it comes up I just say we're not a close family and we have nothing much in common. It's just easier and doesn't cause awkwardness like the whole truth might.

TorroFerney · 07/04/2025 08:54

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 07/04/2025 07:29

But talking about his abusive, alcoholic father and his mother having sex with another man with him in the car isn’t? He had an abusive, shitty childhood and he openly talks about it, which is actually fair enough, and more people should talk about it and feel comfortable enough to do so.

are they not dead? He doesn’t owe us details about all aspects of his life, up to him what he shares.

MarkWithaC · 07/04/2025 08:50

Stresshead84x · 06/04/2025 17:46

That's how I read it- not great but that she was being self-depreciating and he just quoted her back.

But why would she say, 'Ouch' then? or not at least say something like, 'Ouch. But I did say all these things to him about me, so I guess I brought it on myself.'?

MarkWithaC · 07/04/2025 08:48

blueshoes · 06/04/2025 16:37

I am confused. He talks about the journalist's height and then who is he referring to when he says her face is like a roadmap? Is that his wife or the journalist?

Obviously the journalist .She asked him to say what his diary entry about her would say.

Swipe left for the next trending thread