Inheritence and house sale

So you're saying DM is still alive (older, but not terminally ill or anything like that) and nomad sibling wants the cash now? Then you and other sibling split the house proceeds (so you'll end up with more)?

Sounds ok in principle, but what if DM ends up needing funding for care? You could end up with nothing. Then there's the whole deprivation of assets issue, if she's given a lot of cash to one sibling.

I reckon you say no, everything gets split equally once she's gone. It's not your job to make up for one sibling's lifestyle choices.

House needs to be sold. Persuade your Dh and his other sibling to get it on the market. This is ridiculous! Nomad can rent somewhere.

I don’t understand why Nomad needs the money upfront. He can live there until it is sold, and then move into a new place (either directly or renting in between) with his share of the £60k + his share of the house proceeds.

If he moves earlier house will be more drama to insure etc if left empty

Just sell the house. He’s had enough time.

Do what the will says; equal split. Anything else will get messy and breed resentment.

Op, I'm a sibling in a long running, not dissimilar situation and this has been an interesting read and possibly the boot up the backside I needed.
A few previous posters have struck a chord, firstly that the siblings have been conditioned to walk on eggshells around 1 sibling to the detriment of themselves and secondly that the problem sibling has had every opportunity that the others have had, if not more so and their chickens have now come home to roost, they need to own their lifestyle choices
I wish I could give you more insight into why your husband is behaving the way he is as I often ask myself the same question but it does sound like things are finally moving in the right direction for you without a family dispute. Your husband will know that what you are saying is right but for some reason feels compelled to help his sibling.
Your post has made me realise how frustrated my own OH must be, stressed to the max when our mortgage could be paid off!

he hasn't bought it? He doesn't own it.

Except it’s not his property - it belongs jointly to all 3 siblings. He needs to shove off now, two years down the line from probate being granted, the house needs to be sold and monies distributed. End of.

Then split it equally. Nothing else is fair. Get the house on the market now.

As a buyer I would be wary of a house where a tenant was living rent-free in case there were problems with them moving out

TBH, @AnnieMaud, as a buyer I've always avoided tenanted houses like the plague even if they were paying full rent

No offence to you personally because it sounds as if you handled it all properly, but it's only too easy for sellers to coo "Oh it'll be no problem at all", only to find after spending ££££ that it's a very big problem indeed

Each to their own, but to my mind - unless selling to another landlord - tenants need to move out before a place is marketed so there can be no "misunderstandings"

Sure why not - they need to write up a legal agreement saying explicitly how this works. My lawyer did something where I got an advance on a sale and I had to pay my siblings interest on what I ‘borrowed’.

My buyers were concerned that a family member (not me, a relative) had been living in the house for years on an assured shorthold tenancy and I had to provide evidence that the tenancy agreement had to be changed to one with a month’s notice. I also had to provide proof of landlord insurance. As a buyer I would be wary of a house where a tenant was living rent-free in case there were problems with them moving out.

Sounds like nothing you can do until they threaten bailiffs. They are all pussyfooting around him. I can imagine how frustrating it is...

It’s technically correct that it’s nothing to do with you because you aren’t an executor. But your dh is, and one would hope that he’d at least listen to your concerns.

And actually, on the issue of trust, I don’t think this has anything to do with it. Regardless of whether you trust other executors/beneficiaries, a will should be distributed as written. It’s about honouring the wishes of the person who wrote it (as well as the legal duties of executors to act in accordance with the will without undue delay.)

I have been a joint executor with my sister. It would not have occurred to either of us to do anything other than act as the will instructed. It’s actually quite worrying that some posters seem to think you can just make the rules up!

So he’s already got form for screwing other people around… not being trusted to pay back even a tenner, living rent free until nearly 60…

Incidentally, if it’s been 2 years since probate, why has he not been saving some of his earnings in preparation to move out and rent?

unfortunately, some people don’t want to own their choices. He’s preferred to have a particular lifestyle, without the pressure of a regular permanent job and a mortgage. He now needs to own that choice and accept the rough with the smooth. I expect siblings 2 and 3 have had their share of days when they’d rather be a free spirit and swan off on another adventure rather than get up and do another day in the office to pay the bills! Every choice has upsides and downsides - sibling 1 has had plenty of years of the good times, now he needs to accept the consequences of his choices.

aint that the truth! I guess sibling 1 favours this suggestion because it benefits him, and sod the other two who’ve been paying rent and mortgages while he prefers the nomadic, no-strings lifestyle

and @viques and @gattocattivo Yes, I don't disagree with any of you, I was just trying to do the maths in my head. I do know however, that money and inheritances can bring out the worst in people.

@Scuttlebutyeap nothing could possibly go wrong!!!
-house needs major work before sale
-house sells for less than expected
-siblings 2 and 3 no longer receiving interest on the 60k which belongs to all of them. sibling 1 sticks it in savings and gets all the interest
-sibling 1 blows the 60k on more of his nomadic lifestyle

… to make a few scenarios. I can see how your suggestion is exactly what sibling 1 would want - because it favours only them!