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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids parties and present value should be about the same as party cost?

111 replies

ElatedMauveFox · 06/04/2025 12:03

I was told rule of thumb is that a present for a party should be generally what the party cost - eg soft play at £10 than £10 present?

Aibu

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 06/04/2025 13:24

No. Not in the UK anyway.

Ineedanotherholidaynow · 06/04/2025 13:22

I always try and spend £10-20. I wouldn’t just stick a fiver in a card for a party I knew cost more per head e.g soft play. However that’s just my preference and I don’t worry about what other people give

Missey85 · 06/04/2025 13:11

Have fun with future parties with no guests 🙁 I suppose your letting the other parents know who to say no too and have fun explaining to your kids why nobody shows up to their birthday

Zezet · 06/04/2025 13:10

No way. I would prefer my kids go to a low-key party. I think the move to more expensive and fancy is a bad one. And then I should reward that by buying more expensive gifts, or, otherwise put, the kids whose parents CAN'T afford the fancier party should get smaller gifts?

Equal for all and if anything, I would be inclined to be more generous if the party was more low-key. Sorry!

PeriPeriMam · 06/04/2025 13:04

Wow. No. This is an eye opening idea, wouldn't have dreamed anyone would cost match the present to what they think the party cost. Life is not just one big ole transaction.

goldenretrieverenergy · 06/04/2025 13:03

That’s the silliest thing I’ve heard.

You organize the birthday party to celebrate your DC and have fun with their friends and family. I’d not expect people to buy my DC expensive gifts or to match how much I spent on their bday celebration. It makes no sense.

Oriunda · 06/04/2025 13:00

When DS was around 9/10, €10 in a card was the average gift. Now he's a teen, at his last party, he received cash or gifts around €25-50. The only thing I do do is note down the amount, so that I can reciprocate at the respective child's party.

Parties here cost around €30 ahead for an activity party.

It doesn't bother me what the amount is, tbh. As long as the child comes and has fun, that's the important thing.

Frowningprovidence · 06/04/2025 13:00

So rich people get big presents and poor people get small presents.

Dollshousedolly · 06/04/2025 12:57

B1indEye · 06/04/2025 12:55

Is this a genuine question @ElatedMauveFox ? Your responses don't seem to be related to your OP but regardless of course it's not a rule.

I’m guessing the OP is annoyed that she held an expensive party for her child and feels that gifts given didn’t correlate to the cost of the party.

B1indEye · 06/04/2025 12:55

Is this a genuine question @ElatedMauveFox ? Your responses don't seem to be related to your OP but regardless of course it's not a rule.

Dollshousedolly · 06/04/2025 12:55

ElatedMauveFox · 06/04/2025 12:44

In a friend's garden they arent giving money to a venue so yes turning up with £2 is apt

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I’m guessing you’ve held an expensive party for your child in some venue and are now annoyed that your costs weren’t covered by gifts given to your child ?

Stichintime · 06/04/2025 12:53

That's ridiculous. Gifts should be given and received with joy, not to balance the balance the books.

NotOnlyMercutio · 06/04/2025 12:52

Choice of party venue and how much they spend is up to the host.

Choice of present is up to the guest, and shouldn’t relate to cost of party venue in any way.

I would say (regardless of guest’s income) that a small token gift is always absolutely fine.

Expensive or lavish gifts are more likely to make your hosts feel uncomfortable imo.

Planesmistakenforstars · 06/04/2025 12:52

Never heard of this. Sounds absurd.

Snorlaxo · 06/04/2025 12:52

People should pay for the party that they can afford and guests should buy gifts according to their budget too. Personally cost of gift is relative to how close my child is to the birthday boy/girl and the cost of party to the parents is immaterial. One of my kids has allergies so I would bring his food separately so the only cost has been squash at some parties but I’m not going to spend a quid to make that point.

Cloudyvibes · 06/04/2025 12:51

No never heard of this for a kids party.
Mine have had many parties over the years, party prices have ranged from £300-£500 and usually have limited numbers so not the full class are invited. Can easily work out £40 to invite a child I would never expect a gift to be given for £40 to cover the cost.
I pay for the parties to celebrate their birthdays, and am always just thankful that their friends accept the invite so they can enjoy the party with them.

BunsenBurnerBaby · 06/04/2025 12:50

Er … gift something you think the child would like and is in YOUR budget. If I spend £300 on a birthday party that’s on me. If you can’t afford anything atm and bring a smile and a home made card that’s perfect.

TheNightingalesStarling · 06/04/2025 12:49

My children's parties never had an entrance fee. The family who bought a £1 Easter egg was as welcome as the one who bought a £20 science set.
Its up to the host family to spend what they can afford

Needmorelego · 06/04/2025 12:48

No people should only ever pay what they can afford.
If that's £1 then it's £1.

TeenLifeMum · 06/04/2025 12:48

ElatedMauveFox · 06/04/2025 12:44

In a friend's garden they arent giving money to a venue so yes turning up with £2 is apt

Show quote history

Parties in the garden require far more effort from parents, should that not be rewarded?

i think this is bonkers though. If you choose to have an expensive party that’s your choice. We spend the same £10-15 per child and £20 for special friends.

Original poster
ElatedMauveFox · 06/04/2025 12:47

ARichtGoodDram · 06/04/2025 12:47

You don't bring the coin or note in a piggy bank, you put it in a piggy bank at the party.

So no one actually knows who puts what in.

There's not kids getting 30 piggy banks at class parties

So just paying cash. Nothing new there

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 06/04/2025 12:47

You don't bring the coin or note in a piggy bank, you put it in a piggy bank at the party.

So no one actually knows who puts what in.

There's not kids getting 30 piggy banks at class parties

ARichtGoodDram · 06/04/2025 12:46

Have ten piggy banks?

Eh?

DappledThings · 06/04/2025 12:46

Nope, not at all a thing. Nor is it a thing for weddings either.

Original poster
ElatedMauveFox · 06/04/2025 12:45

GRex · 06/04/2025 12:19

I fully disagree. We give DS big parties, but our soft play is £24/ head when you add decorations, pizza etc. £5 gift or a book regardless of party type is perfect, up to £15 for a best mate, more only for a cousin. Band together 5-10 parents to get something more expensive if you can be bothered, but a party is already great for the birthday kid, they really don't need a house-full of presents too.

You are probably rich to spend £300 plus on a party for your kids school mates

OP posts:
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