Kids parties and present value should be about the same as party cost?

I remember that one. What an absolutely classless set of responses. I never expect a present (and we've had some pretty spendy birthday parties - pool party, exotic animals, fancy restaurants, etc) and in fact prefer not to have 30 presents to sort out. The point of a party is to celebrate with friends.

No - the choice of how much to spend on the party is up to the host. I give roughly the same value gift to the party child whether the party is at the Ritz or in their garden paddling pool.

@LividBoo You have nothing to feel guilty about and nobody has the right to try and make you feel otherwise.

Absolutely not, if I invite people to a party it’s because we want to see them, not because we expect a present.

i was quite shocked at a thread on here a while ago where a mum had no money to buy a gift.

the vast majority of people on heretold her not to go unless she could at least rustle up a box of chocolates or a fiver.

My kids are now older, but we usually spend between £15-25, or a present plus robux card-in that price range if they attend the party.
On the other hand we usually pay around £150-200 for a soft play party or other entertainment place party-and
never have occurred me to think that we should received pricey gifts etc…
Those children are my kids friends that they choose to celebrate their birthdays, so I don’t really mind what and how pricey gifts they bring.

Uh no. Parties for my kids generally cost way more than the £5-10 present. Nothing extravagant - soft play, bowling, zoo, that sort of thing. They’ve been to some pricey parties too: go- karting, dry skiing, adventure parks costing about £30 up per child. We did paint balling once, but with two friends so cost was spread. Also been to parties with more traditional games organised by the parents - people do what they can afford. But presents are always in the £5-10 range.

This thread just makes me think of the hullabaloo Myleene Klass started over kids birthday presents years ago.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31302827

What fresh hell is this?!

I'm on the bones of my arse. Single parent.

I'm aiming for £5 per present at the moment, and even that is a struggle sometimes.

DC recently had a party. I budgeted for three months to host the party. The gifts they got were way more generous than those I'd bought the DC on their own birthdays. I'm too skint to feel bad about it, most of these kids have two parents with jobs I guess.

Also regift where possible, which is a whole other level of guilt!

Yeah it's a thing, I always supply a fully itemised receipt and expect all gifts to come with one so DH can add up all the gift costs and ensure we net out.

The one year I forgot to add VAT to Mr. Clown's cost - I just sent round a paypal link requesting the difference.

We actually buy more expensive gifts for a party at home or a sleepover because we live in naice area of north London where property and maintenance is more expensive than your usual soft play off the dual carriageway.

Oh no. That's really sad. You invite people to celebrate with you, and if they bring a gift then that's a lovely bonus to be grateful for, not a condition of attending.

We've done everything from 40 kids at a massive bouncy castle and 3 kids to a musical. The musical parents would have had to bring a £60 gift! I'd have been horrified if they had thought that. We base it on...

A) what we can afford
B) how close the kids are to the birthday child.

So if it's a party for six and my child got invited because they're in the friendship group I'll spend more than if it's a class party and my child isn't close to them. But the max is like £15.

I Don’t think that’s a rule but that’s probably what I’ve inadvertently given. When dd was little it was probably about £10 worth of gift. Now she’s 11 and the parties cost a tad more per head I probably spend £15 but it’s more to do with needed to spend a bit more to get something decent for that age group

You spend what you can afford imo. Had a mum once tell me she couldn’t afford a present to bring to the party, absolutely no issue from me whatsoever and thought it was actually really great we could have that conversation instead of her otherwise spending when she couldn’t

Omg you must be kidding. The effort to through a party at home is loads and costs a fair amount anyway. What the hell is this post anyway?

here is a shocker. It’s about the birthday kid. To make their day special. To give them something they like.

nothing to do with what their parents can or cannot afford with garden or park party or soft play. This post sums up what’s wrong with the world. Ffs. Thinking about yourself and not others.

If they are just invited as part of the whole class i normally get something around a tenner if its a good friend I have no particular budget

Depends on a few variables. How well do the DCs know one another, do I know the birthday child well enough to know what they would enjoy, if not it’s something more generic. I try to not buy tatt but at the same time I’m well aware most presents are carefully regifted anyway. I don’t pay per party cost as how do you know? It might be at their house and they let kids get on with it with no effort made or you might walk into an entire zoo, theme park in the garden or even a private jet to fly them to south of France….

Are you always this transactional about everything, OP?

We did some quite expensive parties for dd when she was younger. I'd have been horrified if parents of our guests felt that they had to stump up gifts of a certain value. We invited them because we wanted our dd to have the pleasure of sharing her special day with her friends, and not because we expected anything in return. I always tried to make it clear on the invitations that gifts were not expected.

An expensive party doesn’t equal effort!
My daughter was taken on an expensive activity, taken for a meal and given a great party bag. It was a brilliant party but the parents are well off compared to the party she went to a month ago at the house, parent doing a pamper night on them. They struggle for money and so that party is within their means (and was also lovely!)

Absolutely no way, OP!

It's the host's choice as to what kind of party they give and there is no obligation whatsoever on the guests to pay for it, or even subsidise it. What a ridiculous idea.

This is the same entitled rubbish you hear trotted out about fancy weddings where some people (I think influenced by US convention) think you have to 'cover your plate'. No you don't.

My children are grown up now and since then I'm guessing that children's parties have gone the way of weddings, hen parties etc etc in becoming more and more expensive and pretentious (Instagram-able?).

Stand firm.

No expectation. £5 is fine. So is £10 so is £20.
Noone normal would judge.

If a whole class party and your child doesn’t really know the kid very well, a colouring book and some crayons is great. If it’s a costly party and a close friend, a £15 toy they’d like is also great. If you’re absolutely skint, then nothing / Poundland toy is fine. If you’re flush and want to give £20 that’s ace. What ever.

If my kids are invited to someone’s birthday we stick £20 in a card with a box of malteasers - doesn’t matter the cost of the party.

Our rule was always that if our kids wanted a whole class party, then we specified no gifts and had a charity box at the door instead - no kid needs 30 presents!

Otherwise, they could have a small party (8 or less say) then it was up to guests if they wanted to give them something. Some guests bring a present, some money, some nothing - we didn’t care and neither did our kids.

The gathering should be the main event, not the presents. Ditto for party bags!

Just buy what you can afford and you think the child will like. I usually go for something around 10 to 12 pounds.

What if you get a staff discount on the venue? Is the party instantly worth less?

When you get them x 30 (all-class party years), yes. Loads of duplicates, too. Thankfully that phase only lasted a couple of years and then everyone moved to a tenner in a card. Meanwhile I kept careful notes and regifted where I could. Lego always appreciated though, even now in teen years.

Absolutely not. Gifts are given according to the giver's capacity and party cost likewise. I never paid for a party in the expectation of getting the same value back in gifts!! I paid what was in my budget at the time. Some were paid activities, and some were parties at home/in the park.