DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

He sounds like a keeper to me.

I have the sneaky suspicion that the OP would much prefer there to be animosity between her DH and his ex and it extending to her DH largely ignoring his first born. And if her DH was going to buy flowers then his ex should have only received a tatty garage bunch as opposed to the OP's luxuriant bouquet.

But you did choose it. DSD is only 10. She cannot advocate for herself on these occasions.

Personally, I would feel happy I married a man who felt that he needed to do ths for his ex and their child together.

So unless there is a huge backstory, YABU.

Well neither of you are his mother, but you are both the mothers of his children. Seems fine to me!

This.

He bought the mothers of his children the same
gift for mothers day. Bit different if he bought her jewellery for her birthday from him and then bought you the same gift.

"he always says that we do everything together, I am his everything etc."

That is a cause for concern. The flowers are not.

I’d be disappointed in him if he never. Mother’s Day is for celebrating mums and saying thank you for what they do as a mum and regardless of them being together she deserves this.

It depends - did he give the flowers to DSD to give to her Mum or did he send the flowers from himself? The first is absolutely fine, the second would have given me a twinge.

I think the flowers issue is a red herring. The real issue is your regret at getting involved with someone who already had a child & the insecurity you now feel around that for whatever reason.

This is your issue and it is something you need to discuss with your husband.

This is nothing to do with any of the children who happen to be involved in this situation. Or the ex for that matter.

Based on the post you've written today it sounds as though your reason for being upset goes way beyond a bunch of flowers and has more to do with your feelings towards your partner and the life you have chosen for yourself. I would strongly suggest therapy if this isn't already happening. Noone else can do anything to make you to feel OK about your situation and you need to find some way of making peace with it as your partner's other family aren't going anywhere.

Your posts are giving real red flags OP.

"Currently am looking after all 3 kids (often do) and I have never had any acknowledgment from DSD, and never met her mum (despite invitations)."

Why would you expect dsd to be grateful or to acknowledge what you do? ?
The only people who should thank you are your dh
Kids will never appreciate what you do until they much older and have their own dc and realise what is involved! It us unreality expect a 10 year old toacknowledge your efforts. She is just being told today soandso islooking after you. She has no choice

As you said you took this on
If you have issues talk to dh

Me and my ex always get things for our daughter to give us for Father's/Mother's day .. surely this is the decent thing to do..they are from the child not him directly.

Honestly this all sounds ok. He’s being a good dad which is what you want for your own kids.

Why would you even want to meet his ex? Just get on with your own life.

Why are you looking after all 3 kids? DSD is there to spend time with her father.

Why couldn't he give her money to gift her mum? I'd be annoyed if he just bought duplicate gifts tbh.

It shows he Is a decent father doesn't it? it isn't his daughters fault that her parents are no longer together, and his new wife is a bit insecure, Because that Is what it is insecurity.

I can see this is harder as you have never met DSD mum despite invitations. Is there anyway you can build bridges?
Next year could you bring up Mother’s Day in advance and see if you can help DSD to choose something for her mum.
My DC choose something for me but ex/ex’s wife will get & pay for it.
I always thank them.
I think this would be easier for you if it comes from DSD rather than your DH and it isn’t hidden.

ill admit no kids between us but this year because me and the ex had been chatting a bit more i wished her happy mothers etc.

No, he doesn't need to do that at all.

He can show his appreciation of his wife all year round & hopefully he does.

This is Mothers Day, it's nothing to with wives, girlfriends, exes.

Exactly. Children go where they’re told to, they rarely have an input into what the adults have decided.

He didn't want his daughter to feel left out or embarrassed by not having a gift to give on MD. He treated all his kids the same.

What is your problem? Would you rather the 10 year old girl went out and worked a shift somewhere to pay for it then walked to the supermarket herself?

A 10 year old isn't going to thank her dad's partner for looking after her. Why would they?

You're doing him a favour, not the child

I'd be worried if he bought you both the same flowers for Valentine's Day, but not for Mother's Day.

Having said that, it would have been thoughtful of him to have got something extra just for you as you are his wife.

Another who thinks he did the right thing and to buy similar things too.

Imagine how his older child would have felt if he bought her mum a tiny present or no present at all & then she came to your house and saw a huge bouquet of flowers?

In my mind he is trying to do the right thing here & is trying to show his children that he respects their mothers equally.

As to not meeting his ex, why do you need to?
Or is there a long back story here that you are about to reveal?