DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

Pretty obvious from the OP's other posts that had her partner spoken to her first she would have taken issue with it. It isn't 'man pandering' to think that a ten year old who has done nothing wrong still deserves help with wishing their mother a happy mother's day. My dad was always absolutely useless about that sort of thing and it was awful for us kids.

Nobody is being hostile he bought the mothers of his children flowers from the same place his daughter is 10 years old would you have preferred her mum got lesser flowers ?.

Manpanderers? Grow up.

This is a green flag to me. He sounds like decent guy.

What do you think is going on then, OP?

Do you think he still has feelings for his ex?

Yeah, I’d be fine with that. She’s the mother of his children. He owes her a thank you and it’s a good example to his child.

Him giving his young child's mother flowers is a good thing.
Him not bothering to put time and energy into buying his current partner different presents is a bit shit.

I don’t know how I’d feel in your situation but from my perspective he sounds like a ‘kind’ man.

Wish I could advise my younger self (and anyone considering it) against falling in love with single parents though.

How long did it take before you knew he had a child if you were already in lve with him by then?

Currently am looking after all 3 kids (often do)

So it's more about this as I'm guessing his ex doesn't look after your kids?

Where is he often not there when his eldest is?

I’m not in that situation as I’m with my kids’ dad, so who knows. I think I personally would find it concerning if I was with a new partner and he didn’t send something to the mother of his kids. I think it’s a good sign. It could be that to him it felt such an obvious thing to do that he didn’t mention it to you. Do you feel you are generally lacking recognition from your partner in how much of a mum you are being to your stepkids? Is there a wider discussion to be had with him on any mismatches between your assumptions?

Shitty of him not to warn you, since obviously it devalues your gift in your eyes. Don't listen to the manpanderers, obviously he should have run it past you first. In the real world absolutely everyone would understand your hurt.

I can understand you feeling a bit off with it but try looking at it from a different angle in that it shows he's a good heart.

I think you need to chill.

It’s a green flag. A decent man will treat his kid’s mother with respect and appreciation. Flowers on valentines day would be a different scenario.

That’s lovely

Nothing wrong with him getting her flowers. Also nothing odd about a 10 year old not showing appreciation to you.

Is there any other reason this is upsetting you so much? You mention you are looking after all the children today, where is he? Is there more to this where he leaves you to look after the DSD and your children and swans off for the day and you don't get childfree time in return.

I do find it odd however that he got both lots of flowers delivered, as I assume he would have been home on mother's day with you and could have bought some to give to you in person by the children.

So THIS is what you have the actual issue with. Not the flowers.

How long have you been together? If it’s years it is either what he does every year or it’s something new? I get you feel blindsided but there are worse situations to be in. Standing by someone going through court is far worse I think than low key drama.

btw I used to be a step mum and I still in contact with her whilst she’s cut off her dad/my ex. I think lots of step mums are fab.

My ex bought me gifts for birthdays/xmas/Mother’s Day from our DS. I appreciated that he thought of me to be honest and meant DS doesn’t feel bad to have nothing to give me.

I think it’s a great thing for the dad to do, not only does it show he’s thinking of the kids feelings about having something to give mum but it also shows mum that dad appreciates everything she does for his children.

Buying flowers for his ex on their daughter's behalf was a kind thing to do. I don't think he should have felt obliged to clear it with you, unless it was going to leave a large hole in the family budget.

I would be fine with him herting jer something from the children as that's good for the kids too. I would be a bit miffed if he got her the exact same thing as he got me though!

I would have an issue if he did not buy her something for mother's day. She is the mother of one of his children, a child who won't have the money to buy something for themselves. My partner buys his son's mother a present for mother's day - his son chooses it. I have also bought her something when we were in a shop close to mother's day and he said it was something his mum would like. I asked him if he wanted to get it for part of her present and he did. Neither of us like her very much for various reasons but his son loves his mum so we keep that to ourselves.

He knows what flowers I like and he tends to buy me these - if she got the same it wouldn't bother me too much. If we both got the same and he chose one's she likes I might comment on his lack of imagination but it wouldn't really bother me.

YANBU And this isn't about him 'treating the mothers the same way'. This isn't about his children. It would be different if he bought the flowers on behalf of the children to give to their mothers. Him giving flowers to her is all kinds of wrong imo.