DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

I see this time and time again on here. Men who rope another woman into looking after their children.

I agree.

Methinks you are jealous of ex-wife, op. That's not good.

Honestly can't see the problem with this, and actually think it's nice. Okay, he got you both the same thing virtually but I really think that's okay. Men aren't always creative or thoughtful in that way.
He is just showing respect and acknowledging the love and efforts of both mothers of his children on Mother's Day. Not sure why he'd have to tell you he was going to buy his ex flowers for Mother's Day when they share a child together, especially as others have pointed out that their child is too young to do this themselves. Why should he have explicitly told you? I think it probably points to him being a decent human being, to be honest.

I think it's lovely that he does, recognising the mother of his children.

What's he done all the other years?

Not if
a) they were from his kids and
b) he bought me some if we had kids together.

It sounds as though he is trying to support both sets of DC in recognising their mums. This is not the hill of jealousy to die on.

He's wishing the mother of his children a happy mother's day.

You sound spoilt and petulant

Like so many seemingly straightforward things, it sounds like the flowers - on the face of it a non issue - are a bit of a smokescreen for other issues.
Do you feel he takes advantage of you OP?

I agree, wouldn't be impressed.

Why are you looking after HIS child?
Another skivvy aupair caught by a man avoiding parenting his own children?

Perhaps you need to have a hard look at your situation OP.

Him and his Ex must be thrilled to have free childcare in you.

Find some self respect and backbone and start looking after you.

If you are doing a huge amount of childcare, then he certainly isn't a good husband or father.

Most poor women soft enough to get caught like you, deeply regret their life choices.
You are not alone in that.

That's a sweet thing to do and I'd think he was decent man.

Presumably you don’t have children? Most 10year olds would be a bit out of their depth going to the shops and buying stuff on their own. Some of them probably won’t be allowed out alone anyway, depending on their proximity to shops.
As for making things, maybe the child isn’t artistic, or handy. Not everyone can knock up a quick card or present! You need card, glue, a ruler, pencils, paints/coloured pencils, at the very least, just to start. Not to mention something to put on the front, maybe needing glitter.

I think the dad was right to help his daughter. She would probably have been worried about it without her dad’s help. I think you sound a bit jealous!

It’s sad you don’t spend your Sundays with people you actually like. I hope things get better for you.

I'm not enraged just commenting but I see what you are about now, so I'll get on with my day.

My OH was married before with children, we’ve been married ten years with two of our own. I do basically agree with the majority here that it was essentially a nice thing of your partner to do but I also get why it would make you feel a bit weird. I don’t remember my OH sending flowers but he did help my stepchildren buy gifts for her until they were mid/ late teens and they had a cordial relationship. It’s funny, I’ve never felt insecure in the sense that I know there is no chance that relationship is coming back to threaten me - OH and his ex are very different people and had been apart three years before I was on the scene. We are very happy together and I think he was absolutely the man for me. But it’s hard not to feel a bit weird that there was another woman who he did marriage and children with before you! And something like what your OH did does stick that in a bit.

my OH never expected me to routinely look after his children though and was always very clear that they were his responsibility not mine. I’d have found it difficult if he had expected that. Not to say I haven’t done things for them from time to time or helped them with things like learning to drive and job applications etc but that’s quite different. Reasonable to have a talk with him about that I think….

Ok, really must fly.

😘😘 😘

Are you always so enraged and do you always use projection? Must be really difficult for you to get through your day.

My exH has never so much helped our DC buy me even so much as a card.

But he expected DC to buy him expensive gifts for birthdays, Christmas and Father's Day.

I did by and large get gifts for them to give him.

I've stopped now, partly DC are older. But also I don't want to anymore. I did want to show our DC a better way to parent in the early days. I hope they still see that.

He was very bitter after we split.

Back to the OP, it's nice that he did that. It's shows a level of respect and maturity.

Are you always so angry? That must really be difficult for you to get through your day.

Say scumsnet again @Ohdearieme2025, I don’t think you quite got your point across.

I got flowers from my ex husband for Mother’s Day from our 7 year old. I am under no illusion my 7 year old paid for it

It’s lovely that his done that. It will make such a difference for his daughter that he is showing that kindness to her mother. She is still the mother of his child , just like you . You aren’t a more important mother just because you’re his wife. Mother’s Day isn’t about a spouse it’s about mothers - his mother and the mother (s) of his children .

I have 2 children , by different dads . I had different relationships with both. My eldests dad - got on well with him and we always got each other gifts for each other from our child. My youngest- had a very negative relationship with their father so we never did that ( his mother would get him things from DC my husband would get me things from DC ) Let me tell you now - my DC absolutely picked up on that and it affected him. We are now amicable and we buy each other gifts from our child and I can tell how much that makes a difference.

My husband still gets me a gift on Mother’s Day from my children - despite them not being his children and us not having children together - and he gets gifts for his one DC’s mother - he usually gets the same, it’s easier , I have never batted an eyelid and I would feel the same if I did have a child with him.

Think about it - your husband got the flowers for his daughter to give to her Mother. If he got something for her and then something better for you , what is that saying to his child ? That the child you share together gets to give a better gift ?

In the real world 95% of people would see it as a positive just as they have on here because believe it or not those responding live in the real world... We're not som fictional online bots.