DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

I think it’s a nice thing to give kid some money and if the kid is too young, take them to buy flowers / chocs
But on a related note , Mother’s Day is traditionally flowers / choc I think, it’s another thing that’s just become commercialised so that now it’s become “ a decent gift” apparently.
And I think ex husbands certainly don’t need to be paying for anything more than a gesture for their ex wife on behalf of their kid. It just seems weird to me. Perhaps it’s just me!

Yes, ok, this would have been the ideal.

But what is so wrong with what he actually did?
If my exH sent me flowers on Mother's Day I would appreciate the gesture because I would assume he was thanking me for all I have done and still do for our shared kids.

100%

I think op is getting a hard time, he should have given his daughter the money and let her choose flowers or something else for her mum. He should not have sent flowers from him. Also if op looks after Dsc then he should have arranged token gift too!

I agree with the OP. His daughter is 10 years old. The 10 year old doing small chores in the house for pocket money ie dusting, hoovering, cleaning the worktops and then the 10 year old being encouraged to buy the flowers with ‘pocket money’ would be much better

Why didn’t he just get a box of chocs and give to child to give to their mum on Mother’s Day? He doesn’t need to be spending money on sending flowers on most expensive day of year to his ex.

The point is he’s not sending them from the kid , it’s from him, it’s not “to mum love kid”.
Also he could buy something when with the kid to give to their mum on Mother’s Day . Doesn’t need to be sending flowers in post to his ex wife.

Reread pay attention and stop trying to cause arguments with people on the Internet because I diffinatly did not say that

How was the child supposed to order delivery flowers?!

I doubt very much OP received her bunch through the post and actually thought they were supposed to be from her husband!

He's probably just been too thick to tell them to write the card from the kids!

Also, when I get my ex a gift for Father’s Day it’s also off me to him to say thanks for being an awesome dad, it’s about appreciating the fact he is raising them with me (not in a relationship but we are still a team)

we also text each other thanking each other for being a good parent and often go above and beyond to help each other- my husband thinks it’s great and gets on with my ex well, my ex even dog sits for us when we go away, having a good relationship is in everyone’s interest.

she will be in his life forever as she is the mother of his children, I would look to build bridges and support a positive relationship

Re you often looking after all the children.

DSD lives with her mum and visits, or the parents do 50/50?

Are you a SAHM while he works full time?
(In which case it would make sense that while he's on earning, you're on children.)

Do you both work?
In which case he should be arranging time better so he can be spending his chunk with his own child.

Whichever, it does seem you've been cast in the handy 'child care domestic appliance' role

And if her mum doesn't acknowledge - does she even knows this is how it is? Does she think he's doing it? Maybe some clarity needed.

Well he’s going to have to send them isn’t he unless the kid has a credit card and job ffs

Ah, this isn’t good. At all.

Do you think if this wasn’t happening you’d be upset about the flowers? It looks like you’re put upon a lot.

The flowers were from him not the child.

@donaldtrumponlyhasonedancemove OP said she is looking after the 3 children (as she often does) and wouldn’t have been a stepmother if she had her time again. Doesn’t sound as if she is having a great time

Still doesn't change the fact that he'd be slagged off for being an even worse Father if he hadn't bought anything for his ex from their child on Mother's Day!

She said this Currently am looking after all 3 kids (often do)

Sounds like she is doing it on her own. @Roosch are you regularly looking after the three kids on your own or is DH with you there taking equal responsibility meal prep, cooking, washing etc?

OP didn't actually say this and it's really weird you keep repeating it over and over. She said she often looks after the three kids. He could be there too for all we know.

I've not read the full thread but in isolation, it's a good act. But yeah, if he's swanning off and dumping all his responsibilities on the OP then no, you're right, it isn't the act of a good father.

I'm guessing his man logic was to get flowers from his kids to their mums. Probably viewing it as a present form the kids. Getting both the same doesn't show favouritism between his children to their respective mums.

I think you need to thi k of it not being a gift from dh to ex but from his dd to her mum

I think that’s a really thoughtful thing for him to do. I mean I wouldn’t expect him to still be doing it when his daughter is 16+, but now she’s young and he’s doing it on her behalf

It is not just an act in isolation. He is leaving his child to the care of the stepmum regularly while he swans off. A child who he already has limited time with. Does not sound like the act of a good father.

No OP said husband sending from him not kid

I don’t think your husband should be buying flowers for his ex. No. She isn’t his mum. What I do think is ok is letting his kid choose a small inexpensive gift / choc / flowers to give to their mother which he could pay for ( since kids don’t have their own money or ability to go and buy a gift)

Well to be fair they’re classed as coming from the child as a present aren’t they not him…….