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Original poster

DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

286 replies

Roosch · 06/04/2025 11:57

Would you be happy for your DH to buy his ex (mother of DSD) flowers on Mother’s Day?

Just saw that he basically got her the same thing as me. He did not tell me he was going to do this.

For background, DSD is 10, and we have 2 young children together.

I’m not sure how to feel, and just hoping for general advice.

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 06/04/2025 12:14

Roosch · 06/04/2025 12:13

Ok, thanks for the consensus.
I would have preferred he let me know he was sending flowers though.

Lots of things are hard when your spouse has an child already. Sometimes I regret choosing this life.

Perhaps move on then

QuirkInTheMatrix · 06/04/2025 12:14

If he didn’t do this then his 10yo would have nothing to give her mum. How would his kid feel? Hes doing it mainly for his dc not the ex. But even if he is giving his ex flowers for being a good mum thats still a lovely thing to do.

Cosyblankets · 06/04/2025 12:13

Would you rather there was animosity between them?

Original poster
Roosch · 06/04/2025 12:13

Ok, thanks for the consensus.
I would have preferred he let me know he was sending flowers though.

Lots of things are hard when your spouse has an child already. Sometimes I regret choosing this life.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 06/04/2025 12:12

I think it’s a lovely thing for him to do. I always made sure my son got his absolute shit of a father a gift for his birthday/christmas/father’s day. Not once was it reciprocated. I think it makes him a decent man.

Hall84 · 06/04/2025 12:12

I think it's lovely. STBX didn't acknowledge mothers day. I send token gifts for Christmas/birthday and will do father's day as well. It's not from me but DD and at 10 I'd expect it to be the same.

paisley256 · 06/04/2025 12:12

I think it's lovely.

Pippa12 · 06/04/2025 12:10

Sounds like a keeper to me! How refreshing!

Nonsense10 · 06/04/2025 12:10

Of course he's done the right thing. We always bought something for my husband's ex for Mother's Day until step child was able to go out and get it themselves (with money that we gave).

I don't understand why you'd object to it or feel funny about it. It's important to show children.

Nursemumma92 · 06/04/2025 12:10

Shame it's the exact same gift but I think that is a kind thing to do. They were from his DD- imagine the roles were reversed and you never got anything for mother's day until your children were old enough to be organised and go and pick it for themselves. He is being kind and respectful to the mother of his child, this is a really good thing!

SummerFeverVenice · 06/04/2025 12:09

Roosch · 06/04/2025 11:57

Would you be happy for your DH to buy his ex (mother of DSD) flowers on Mother’s Day?

Just saw that he basically got her the same thing as me. He did not tell me he was going to do this.

For background, DSD is 10, and we have 2 young children together.

I’m not sure how to feel, and just hoping for general advice.

Yes, she’s the mother of DSD and he’s the father. It’s actually a positive thing in my book that he is acknowledging and respecting her as a mother of one of his children.

JustAnotherSod · 06/04/2025 12:08

Rather than thinking your DH bought his ex Mother's Day flowers - think of it as buying the mother of his young child Mother's Day flowers.

As the now adult child of divorced parents, I wish they could have been as amicable to accept they shared children who they both wanted to thrive, even once their relationship had ended - and that my now Step Mother would have been able to do the same.

FigsOfFury · 06/04/2025 12:08

He didn’t buy flowers for his ex. He bought flowers for his child to give their mum on Mother’s Day. Big difference.

JustMyView13 · 06/04/2025 12:07

Green flags!
Green flags, everywhere!!
They’re not from him, they’re from DSD. As her dad, it’s his job to facilitate his daughter’s gratitude for her mother whilst she is absent of her own income.
Co-parenting done right.

No3392 · 06/04/2025 12:07

That's a lovely thing for him to do!

Think you need to do some growing up.

Wipethedogspaws · 06/04/2025 12:06

My DH did this when ours were children. It's a sign of a decent parent, why on earth wouldn't you be happy with it?

corlan · 06/04/2025 12:06

I'm another one that thinks this is a sign of basic decency.

Funnywonder · 06/04/2025 12:05

Good man. Very thoughtful of him. You should be pleased.

spicemaiden · 06/04/2025 12:05

Why shouldn’t he? Is she not the mother of their child?

GrimTimes1 · 06/04/2025 12:04

Absolutely fine. He didn't buy them from him, his DD has clearly wanted to celebrate Mother's Day for her mum and he has facilitated this.
Sounds like a good man to me.

MarthaJonesPhone · 06/04/2025 12:04

My ex DH buys me flowers for Mother's Day from our children. Its a nice thing to do. I buy him something for Father's Day too.

Hapeaglowb · 06/04/2025 12:03

I think it’s sadder when a man doesn’t buy anything for the mother of his children. Assume she’s the resident parent? How nice that he appreciates how she co parents their daughter. My friend is a single mum and her ex doesn’t get her anything from the son. Isn’t that worse?

Cornettoninja · 06/04/2025 12:03

TeenToTwenties · 06/04/2025 11:59

Were they from him or ostensibly from his daughter?

I’m not sure it matters tbh. They probably were from his dd but I think it’s a nice gesture even if they were from him to his child’s mother. It’s for Mother’s Day not a romantic gesture.

SoMauveMonty · 06/04/2025 12:03

Has he always bought flowers for her? Is their relationship generally good?
My ex did for me, until the dcs reached their late teens. We got on well, i had primary care of the dcs and it was his way to thank me for that (and their very existence 😂).
I think it's good for DSD to see her Dad still respects her Mum.

Doolallies · 06/04/2025 12:02

Yeah I’d be happy with that, he’s a good man