DH buying his ex flowers for Mother’s Day?

You've obviously been together a few years, has he not organised flowers or a gift for his ex on Mother's Day before? It feels like you've been thrown by the fact he has this year.
Are there other things going on you're uncomfortable with OP?

Why on Earth did you choose it then?

Your DH sounds like a good dad and a decent bloke.

My parents split up when I was 10 and my DSis was 7. The first Christmas after they split, my dad asked his father to take us shopping to buy presents for our mom.

I can't remember what happened on Mother's Day but I'm sure someone helped us have a present/card/flowers for her.

Sign of a decent dad.

She's the mother of his child what's the problem?

Why would you prefer if he had let you know?

Is that really true though? Just wanted a quick heads up? It doesn’t sound like it- given the bit in the OP that he got his ex the same as he got for you.

It sounds like you would have made his life harder/caused a row. He bought the mothers of his children the same gift, on behalf of the children. That seems fair, given the implied message to his oldest daughter if her mother received less/nothing.

The way a man treats the mother of his children speaks volumes. I would say you have a good egg there.

She is the mother of his child. It is very sweet and appropriate for him to get her flowers. You should be happy that if you split up he will probably treat you well too.

But you did choose it so either deal with the fact that both his children are as equally important to him (or they should be if he is not a dick) and both mothers have played a role on how great their respective children are and he as the father wants to acknowledge that it move on

But remember if you do that you and your child will now be in the position that his ex and his child are currently in

I think that’s a lovely thing to do. It would make me think a lot of him.

Your dh has 2 sets of children each with a mother, so he acted fairly and got the same present from each child for their own mother. They're not a present from him for either of you, they're from the children.

It would be less fair if he only facilitated one child to buy for their mother just because he's still married to that child's mother.

He's a dad helping his children to give a gift to their mums regardless of his relationship with their mothers because the children's relationships to their parents haven't changed.

You are jealous and insecure and are misdirecting those feelings towards your partner and implying he has done something wrong. He sounds like a wonderful dad and man and it’s really not your business what he buys or for whom. I feel sorry for him being with you if this is how you get worked up over a simple bunch of flowers. Fast forward to when marriages and other ‘big’ events happen with their child and they need to be supporting each other, you can’t step in and stop that

My ex does all this stuff and more . He recently supported me when my mum had cancer, because at one point she was his MIL and it would be an arsehole move to just ignore something so big and pretend it was not his business.

You have growing up to do

I’d be very disappointed in him if he didn’t do this
would you rather she went without ?
what are your concerns ?

They can indeed be hard.

However a man who is respectful of his child's mother is a good thing.

Why on earth can't a 10yo buy or make something for their mother on mothers day?

He should have told you, but he’s done the right thing doing that for his kids.

It may be hard but the reasons he didn't tell you are probably down to some insecurities you have which you neeed to work on.

Would this have ruined the surprise he had planned for you though?
What would your reaction have been? Would you have then known what he was getting you?

I think it’s better to work on the assumption that DH will help DSD show up for Mother’s Day, Christmas & Birthday.
There are seriously worse things DH could be doing.

Good for him !

Where is he going to be sitting on his daughter's Wedding Day - top table beside his daughter and her mother ?

Good reply @Roosch! I can only imagine having a step child can be a learning curve at times.

Maybe your DH should have communicated better rather than the actual act was wrong, I don’t think your unreasonable wanting that.

@Roosch i can see why you feel uncomfortable about it but trust me, as a once single parent, having some acknowledgment of all you do for child while their dad does far less, means a lot and it is importantly for your step son to see this appreciation. I’d try and be mature about this one and put your feelings to one side. He’s just trying to be decent and thank god, not many men are!

Maybe lots of things are hard, but this thoughtful gesture to the mother of his daughter surely isn’t one of them?

Genuine question but why do you think he should he have cleared it with you? It's none of your business.

Of course yabu - how awful for the children not to have anything to give their mother on mothers day. Different if they are 25 but aged 10 and unable to buy things for themselves of course he should help.