I have been having a lot of problems with DH; sometimes thinks get a bit better temporarily then deteriorate again.
The main issue is that put simply, he sees weekends, holidays and other ‘free’ time as just that: free time. He will vanish for ages doing DIY or jobs in the garden, it will take most of the day as he will (eg) visit diy stores or garden centres or go to collect things he’s bought from Facebook or eBay, then actually do the job, and so on.
We have two very young children; four and one. I am definitely the main carer; even on weekends it’s me who is organising food, activities and so on, bur it’s incredibly hard work having the two together alone.
DH will often engineer things do he just has the four year old, who is through merit of his age a lot easier. But that leaves me with a toddler who like all children her age is prone to tantrums, can’t be reasoned with, can’t really entertain herself for any length of time, needs near constant supervision. This has been the case for the last few weekends, I’ve had them either solo or the one year old (and DH acts like it’s totally fair because he took the four year old to screwfix for a couple of hours) while he endlessly does his Jobs.
Today’s Jobs involved (apparently) getting the car cleaned, we have guests coming soon. DH took the four year old to football this morning while I took the one year old swimming. When I came back it was to a mess: clothes and breakfast things all out. He was gone three hours in total; football is 45 minutes so the rest of the time he’s been doing god knows what. The second I challenge him on it he just starts spluttering that he needs to do these things.
I am going to tell him that form now on I’ll take the kids out Saturday and he can take the Sunday. It’s that or I’m ending it: I’m absolutely sick to death of doing everything alone. Bear in mind I’m angry writing this and upset. So I know it’s aibu but please don’t be too horrible.