Am I greedy, or was my friend out of order?

Jesus you really just start eating other people’s food without even asking first?? How weird!

It’s a spoonful of food for one person. What if 3 people decided to share the OPs food? Or 5? So now there’s 7 people all having just “one spoonful” of 3 mini desserts.

I’m more than happy to SHARE a spoonful of a dessert. But that normally means I have a spoonful of theirs as well. It doesn’t become a free for all for mine when they haven’t bothered ordering anything.

The person in the OP did not order a dessert. So there wasn’t any SHARING. She just wanted to have some of the OPs dessert.

And also if I ordered a trio of puddings to myself it’s because I wanted a trio of puddings to myself. Even if someone offered to pay a third/half whatever it wouldn’t matter. If she had ASKED first then the OP could have decided if she wanted to share or not.

I was at a work dinner recently. One staff member said she didn’t fancy a whole dessert and did anyone want to share. Everyone declined because they wanted full desserts. She accepted that and ordered a coffee to herself instead. One person in the end did offer her to try her pudding and she did indeed have one spoonful. But if she had just decided to share the person next to hers dessert when it arrived and said oh don’t worry I’ll pay half then that’s wrong! These things need to be decided beforehand. You wouldn’t just decide to share a friends main course because you weren’t that hungry and then just offer to pay half! If the OP wanted 1/3 of the dessert she would have suggested it to start with. She wanted half!

Well now you know! It's rude to get dig into someone else's food without bring offered.

I think they have and they do? I know I do if I don’t want a full pudding - I had no idea it was such a big thing!

I like my friends - it’s a spoonful of food. Not worth a huge stingey drama about. I’d not be that bothered about sharing something I liked - with someone I liked. Business dinner it would be a bit strange - but eating out with pals? No issue at all. I assume they would share what they had with me too - it’s what friends do?

Is the lack of paying a third of a trio of puddings (so a fiver. Tops) the issue?

And do your friends order a spoon to dig in to your food without you offering?

That's not the point. She rudely assumed she could have some & blatantly asked for an extra spoon!

They could enjoy it too if they ordered their own.

It’s a spoonful of chocolate mousse / a sliver of banoffee. I love my friends and eating socially with them - if I’m enjoying what I’m eating I offer them some so they too can enjoy it too.

It sounds like she was both rude and ignorant. I share desserts with family but anyone else would be a huge no-no. And three mini desserts between two isn't much in the first place.

Asking "Can I have a bit?" is CF on its own but at least it's polite CF. This is a whole new level.

I think you handled it fine by giving her the leftover of the one you disliked. I laughed at you ignoring the comment on how she likes banoffee pie.

I would've been surprised too. It's very weird and rude to jump in on a couple's shared plate without asking. You might well have ordered it with a plan to eat that exactly that much and who wants an extra person's germs in there?

I wouldn't sit next to her again at a dinner.

Cheeky fucker 😆

I’ve said this before to a CF acquaintance who has form for sticking her dessert fork where it doesn’t belong. 🤣🤣

i am wondering if my acquaintance is OP’s Milly because I had her try the “oh would you please bring another spoon?” Knowing it was coming, I asked (wide-eyed) “did they not bring your dessert?” and she was forced to admit that she was planning to taste others’ desserts. I replied that I would decline to participate in the dessert-sharing as everyone knows I’m a germaphobe and the portion size was far too small to share, followed by almost everyone else quickly stating the same, so I think she only ended up “tasting” a single dessert. She is also one of those “I’m not hungry” people who steals all your chips.

i am not sure how comfortable OP is to say something, but then it sounds like she likes her Milly & I do not like mine.

I wouldn’t dream of attempting to share a dessert uninvited. Milly was a cheeky madam!

She sounds very manipulative. Well done for not letting her have your favourite dessert.

She was a CF.

CatrionaBalfour

Agreed. Most responses on MN ask why the Poster didn’t assert themselves/ say something and deal with a situation at the time.
Instead write pages and pages of justifications for inaction.

Absolutely! I'd just about share my dessert with my husband - certainly not with an unrelated third party.

Haven’t read any updates beyond page one so I could be against the grain.

me - couldn’t really imagine our friend group in a world measuring out the bill and the degree I was prepared to share with them and only if u initiated. You win some you lose some.

perhaps she’s the cheeky one tonight, if it cost you what - £2 between a couple?

let us know if she habitually takes the piss and orders bottles of wine she doesn’t pay for, but off the op and that alone - tight as fook.

Another person who pretends to be sensitive so their unacceptable behaviour isn't challenged.

Why are you trolling like this?!

She’s rude. I had a couple of women do this to me. (One was my friend and the other was her side kick.) I ordered a small carafe of wine after they said they were not drinking and didn’t want a bottle. I felt like it. So ordered the small carafe as I didn’t like any of the wines by the glass. When the carafe came they helped themselves. I was baffled.

Next time make sure your not sat anywhere near her

I never understand these weirdos who eat from other people’s plates! I still feel second hand rage from the post about someone’s friend eating her burger that she couldn’t finish but her DP was going to have it. Who eats their friend’s half eaten food? Gross.

Why was DH there?

Ignorant the use has varied by region for at least several decades and it’s either rude ignorant or both to dispute it when both are valid.

Asking for a spoon was strange and CF. If neither of you wanted the strawberry cheesecake anyway I wouldn’t be too bothered on this occasion, at least you won’t be shocked if it happens again.

Did you split the bill evenly or did you pay for what you had? Even though you didn’t react to the spoon request you had time to make a point to split the dessert 3 ways if it was the latter.