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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be terrified of being a MIL one day?!

109 replies

ChronicallyOnLime · 06/04/2025 08:01

this is relatively lighthearted by my god.. there seems to be a trend of MIL-hate everywhere I look.

I have a DS and the thought of his future partner not liking me makes my stomach drop. The stories I’ve read make me think I’d probably be one of the nicer ones.. I wouldn’t feel the need to have an opinion on everything in their own-together lives. But I fear that just being a MIL is seen as a total shit-show regardless of what you do.

Does anyone else with a son worry about being a hated MIL?! 🤣 DS is only 3 though.. so I have a long time to worry.

OP posts:
WingBingo · 06/04/2025 08:29

You haven’t met my MIL.

Coali · 06/04/2025 08:27

I think it’s one of the those things that seems very popular on here, but you don’t see in real life. Along with people having useless husbands, not answering the door, and not knowing how to google things.

Showerflowers · 06/04/2025 08:26

I just think you see a lot of bad mil threads on here because people generally come on here when they have a problem. Not many posters come here just to let everyone know what a great mil they have.

PeopleTalkingWithoutSpeaking · 06/04/2025 08:23

I love my mil. Don't get me wrong, she's always been mad as a box of frogs and I'm glad we don't live in the same town. But we have never had a cross word ok once over a misunderstanding, quickly resolved, have a laugh together, and enjoy each other's company. I love her 😊

I've never started a thread about her though, because there has been no need! I'm sure most people are in that category op.

BusMumsHoliday · 06/04/2025 08:20

My DH had a super close relationship with his late DM. She was such a lovely and generous person - endlessly supportive of us, but also of me and my career and my passions, in ways she didn't have to be. Which isn't to say she never rubbed me up the wrong way! But I miss her everyday and I'm so sad she didn't get more time with it kids. My DD has her smile.

All of which is to say, lots of people really like their MILs! They just don't post about them in AIBU.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/04/2025 08:20

No, I'm not worried. My ds is 17 and hasn't got a girlfriend yet, but I'm not a difficult person to get on with and I have no particular concerns about being a MIL. My MIL is nice. There are a few topics we don't necessarily see eye-to-eye on, but we get on well enough!

Loulouboho · 06/04/2025 08:19

I love my MIL. She never interferes but provides practical support when I ask for help. She’s kind but not soft. Interesting and a great conversationalist but not overly opinionated about our lives and how we live them. She’s a strong woman I look up to and we have very different interests but I truly respect her. Channel that vibe 🙂 Good MILs do exist and I am grateful for mine!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/04/2025 08:16

Nobody is coming on mumset to rave about how lovely their MILs are, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there!

MellowCritic · 06/04/2025 08:14

Funny you say this as there are two recent threads that come to mind the mil to be who's upset her son is taking his wife to be name double barrel with his own and another woman who is upset his son won't visit every month to see her and the extended family and blames the gf for this. This might be why mils of boys mums get such a bad wrap but it's not regardless to what they do.. what they doing is usually shit! 😳🤦‍♀️ sorry this was meant to be lighthearted wasn't it... 🤣🤣🤣