Father of the child and his family forcing me into getting an abortion

This. I'm shocked at the tone of some posters. Especially things like asking if she has learning difficulties essentially because she's not having an abortion.

You have clearly thought it all out and got some great support @OneAquaShaker so I wish you all the best with this pregnancy and encourage you to send him one final message that you're keeping the baby and then block him and all his family.

Well just to add I don’t agree with the parents that it’s all your fault, of course it isn’t, you’ve both been stupid. They should be angry at you both, but I understand why they don’t want the baby, not that they get a say of course.

If this is real I can see the parents’ side. You’ve been very daft. You clearly wanted to get pregnant, you’ve taken no steps to protect yourself. You’ve got a child with no father, you’re not financially secure enough to provide the baby a home yourself, and now your parents after decades of raising you are going to have a baby in the house. Do you think you sound mature enough to have a child? The decision is entirely yours, don’t be persuaded by others, but id take a long hard think about how you got here, and what the future actually looks like for you and this baby.

@OneAquaShaker congratulations on your pregnancy. It sounds like your baby will be surrounded by love.

All these posters giving you a hard time… they clearly have led perfect lives and never put a foot wrong.

Absolutely block the father and his family… you do not need that stress. Absolutely file for child support when the baby comes along…he shouldn’t get to walk away from his responsibility. As you have mentioned multiple times… he should have used protection if he didn’t want to risk pregnancy.

It sounds like you and your family will be able to provide a lovely life for your baby, whether he steps up or not. Good luck!

She's means unfortunate in that the father of the baby has U-turned on wanting it.

Naive?!?!?

You were having unprotected sex and got pregnant! It's the basics of how babies are made.

Unprotected sex = deliberate pregnancy.

You need to remember that keeping this baby will connect you to this awful family for life. Are you prepared for that? Are you prepared if they want 50/50 custody?

You hardly know this guy.

Agree with this 100%. Some of the replies to OP have been horribly patronising, simply because she doesn't write her replies like she's swallowed a thesaurus. Twenty-four is not too young to have a baby and while the circumstances surrounding the conception aren't great, OP sounds like she has a stable enough career and a great support network in place to raise her child.

Oh FGS. Missing a train is an unfortunate event, getting pregnant when you can’t follow a thought from one end to another and without a care for the baby or father is a damn sight more serious.

And as a parent you don’t have rights, you start with responsibilities. Your poor bloody child - I think his family are right to be horrified.

It’s your decision at the end of the day, but at 24 I wouldn’t want my daughter to be getting involved in this complicated situation at such a young age.
Being really honest given what you’ve said about having an abusive ex partner, I think you sound very vulnerable. Consider if this is the life you want, deep down. Or would a termination and some counselling be the way forward and in the future you can have a baby in a more stable environment.

And what kind of life can you offer a baby? Do you have your own home? Work? Security?

I also am Pro life. Biggest crime of the century on mumsnet but I think you'll be fine especially with your family to help. Your parents sound fantastic. Keep the baby and lose contact with this pig of a man.

To be fair, if people in their 20s are having unprotected sex, the outcome is usually a pregnancy.

Honestly OP it sounds like you know what you are doing. You have support You are working. You will probably be an awesome mummy. I became a mum at 21 and was alone and unsupported but nevertheless I worked hard, went to uni, got a career and have an amazing son.
Do it. I’d honestly just cut this people off completely. Block their numbers. And on any social media. Walk away with your child. It’s your body and your life. I wish you all the best!

So you did get pregnant deliberately.

Also your age isn't a problem. I had my ds1 shortly after my 24th birthday (I was married at the time). If anything, I’m happy I had my children in my twenties.

I don't think you have a clue what it's like to have a baby. Having a child is the most selfish thing you can do, it's not something to take lightly. They don't ask to be born. Think long & hard about what it will be like for your child, not you. It was unbelievably silly not to use contraception.

I can forsee problems down the line when your ex & family suddenly want to be involved. It could get very messy & who will be caught in the cross fire? Your child.

But ultimately it is your choice. Good luck.

OP I think the reason you're getting a hard time on here is because you're coming across as very immature. You and your ex didn't bother with contraception and you've only known each other a very short time.

I've terminated an unplanned pregnancy and I've also raised 3DC so I can see both sides. What I haven't done is raise a child on my own while being dependent on my parents for practical, emotional and financial support. That will be tough for all concerned and I think you need to be realistic about that.

Could you cope if your DC has a disability or health problem which means they need additional long-term care? This is the case with one of my DC. You need to go into this with your eyes open. They are not cute babies for very long.

He'll get access and you can't control what goes on. There'll be step mums and possibly half siblings. Is your Mum likely to want to take over? If the other family get access, are your parents likely to make issues? It's tough parenting with someone who doesn't have your values. Although there are lots of single parents, it can be difficult for the children. My eldest grand-daughter asked me why her Mum and Dad couldn't live together, on a day out, after watching two parent families. As much as we (the family) pitch in, in every way, my DD is financially disadvantaged by being a single parent. The children want her, so it limits work and her social life. You'll still want to date, have sex etc. She was a similar age to you and was pulled in every direction.

Life changes, people become unwell etc, so the support promised, might not be possible. You will need childcare during working hours, so it's something to discuss with your parents. Living in their house and relying on them means you might have to fight for your boundaries and for them to give you the respect, as the child's primary parent. When it comes to children, you don't know what you are going to get. One that's placid, or one that screams when put down, which can mean no sleep for anyone In the house. Then there's disabilities. I could pick up my GC and have them in mine, while my DD napped. I had toy free downtime. Does your Dad want to go back to the baby days and more importantly, the toddler years? There's a lot more to think and talk about.

I'm sorry the parents shouted at you but they will be protecting their child. They can see his life being different now with having to financially support a child he may regret for then next 20 years. They shouldn't have tried to influence you into an abortion but from their view point this is ruining his life.

It's your body, your choice.

It sounds like you have great family support, a good job, and can do this alone.

When his parents were shouting at you, what did you parents do/say? I'm not even sure why you all got together in the first place.

All this ‘just sprinkle it with love and joy’ crap is completely ridiculous.
This is an actual child being brought into an increasingly difficult and expensive world, not a cabbage patch doll.

DO NOT be coerced into an abortion. Ds2s dad tried to force me into one despite asking me to come off contraception (I continued to take my pill regardless as didnt want a child with him but still fell pregnant).

We had split due to his cheating a week before i found out I was pregnant. As soon as he went off with his mistress, he tried to force me to abort. He even rang me up during the pregnancy to tell me his new woman was pregnant too. He lated admitted it was a lie in the hopes I would abort. 😬

I continued with the pregnancy and so happy I did. Ds2 is the most wonderful, kind boy and I love him to pieces.

It’s your choice of course but a termination late along in the first trimester can be quite traumatic (from what I’ve heard from my friends that have had one).

DO be prepared to raise the baby alone but if you have a supportive family, it’s very possible. Don’t expect any input or help from your ex. Ds2s dad wasn’t involved in the pregnancy but did crawl back for a few months once ds2 was born. The excitement soon wore off and we’ve never heard from him since. He doesn’t contribute financially.

However, you do need to be prepared that he could rock up for the next 18 years at any given point and demand access to the child. The court will do a DNA test if he’s not on thr BC and he will be granted access if there is no safeguarding concerns.

All the best. 😊

@Never2many Regardless of what you think of the circumstances or the situation, I think it's a disgusting way to speak to a vulnerable 8 week pregnant woman who says she is being pressured to have an abortion.

Women piling shame on other women at their lowest.

Read the threads on MN. Responsibility doesn’t end at 18. Having a child is a massive, and not always positive, commitment. For life. And what if the child has additional needs? Free to do as you please is just wishful thinking.