Father of the child and his family forcing me into getting an abortion

Some of the replies on this thread are shameful. Whatever else anyone thinks, OP is eight weeks pregnant and therefore still in the vulnerable period of early pregnancy. Remind yourselves of that as you continue the pile on.

You don’t even know this man and you let him get you pregnant. Don’t come at me with I thought I was protected you knew you weren’t and you let him ruin your future. Where you see cute baby cuddles insert vomit in your hair sleepless night and poop - everywhere.

Wow. Just because OP's replies sound young she must be special needs?!!!! Do you not understand there is a housing crisis and more and more 20somethings are having to stay living at home because they can't afford mortgage deposit or exorbitant rents?

now I understand your username. It’s what people say when they read your posts.

also FWIW when you need to resort to swearing and insults to get your point across, you’ve already proven that your point lacks the merit you believe it has.

Also, you need to realise that equity isn’t about taking away from men and raising women to have the power, it’s about giving them the opportunity to become equals and share the power. My husband doesn’t tell me what to do, and I don’t tell him, because we are equals. if this earns me (I think you called them man cookies) then I think they’re giving their cookies away pretty cheaply.

i also see it has been deleted now so I can’t quote it - ah well

Dear OP, you do sound quite immature. Are you,
or is it just the way are coming across?

Anyway, no one should force you to terminate this pregnancy. Many women have babies at 24. It is not necessarily to young.

I don’t think any new mum knows what to expect and I think women do need to speak up and share what it’s like to be a mum and MN is most probably the number 1 platform to allow us to do this.

Please read the threads after threads on here about motherhood, single parenting, abuse, real life and family dynamics. It is not going to be easy no matter what your family say or offer.

What I actually came on to say is that my friend is in the exact situation as you. Her DD had a baby with someone she hadn’t known for very long. DD lives at home with my friend and her father. DD is 35.

The DC is now 6. I feel so sorry for them and I think DD should move out and get a home of her own for her and DC. But my friend keeps telling her DD they she can stay as long as she wants.
Even though she and her DH are struggling.

Her DD does work and so the strain on them looking after DGC is huge. And this is on a loving care family like yours.

Have your the baby if that’s what you really want, but please do consider a scenario of you doing this all alone because that may become the case. Things change! And as much as your parents are thinking of you think of them. They are still parenting you at 23 to some degree and now they are going to parent your DC.

Look do you want this absolute idiot and his family in your face for the rest of your life?
you cannot and will not be able to stop him from having access to his child.
you cannot stay at home with your parents indefinitely
your earning ability and work prospects are screwed for at least the next 5 years regardless of wider familial support.
this is a human being you are planning on having, think about what that means and what values are you going to impart to the human you are responsible for raising
this baby is a whole person and you are responsible for it’s every need and whim - you on your own.

@OneAquaShaker just read that you have said you want to keep the baby. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Honestly in time things will settle down and hopefully the dad will be decent and get fully involved. But if not, you will be ok. And you’ve got your whole life ahead to meet someone else if that’s what you want. All the best OP. And congratulations x

I'm just going to assume you will keep coming back and writing word salad manpandering.

I can't be arsed, it's boring, irrelevant and you're 100 percent wrong - and you know it. You're just a handmaiden is all.

So, every time you shriek BUT WHAT ABOUT DE MENZ! And try to pretend reality isn't a thing, just assume I have responded with exactly this:

"Nah. You're still wrong and reality doesn't care how you feel. Every single time a man chooses to ejaculate into a woman he must assume she might get pregnant. End."

Just pop that in, in place of a response from me, ta. That will save me the boredom of having to keep repeating the truth. 😅
Ciao!

Because it is really not you having a baby but your two parents are having the baby also because you live there.

I do not mean anything mean when asking : do you both have special needs. Something in the way you type very long sentences, without much punctuation marks do give a bit of a clue or I might be wrong. Curious what is your job and if you ask me, do have the baby. If your mum is ok with all this, go forward.

Don’t ever have an abortion you don’t want. If you want the baby and you get rid of it, it will haunt you

I have read your posts, OP and got the answers I asked in my previous posting. You seem both to earn very well but both live with your parents. Are you both with special needs? I am not sure why you need asking here do you keep the baby if you already have a home, two parents willing to help you and so on. What makes you insecure so you come and ask your question here. What your mum says...

@OneAquaShaker hi OP. I had a similar situation to you, although I was mid thirties so quite a bit older. I’m not sure what I would have done at your age but I can say that I went ahead with my pregnancy and in time Dd’s dad actually became a brilliant dad. He was late thirties at the time so perhaps a bit more mature than your partner/ex. To add also that I had a termination under six weeks a few years prior. It was devastating BUT I did recover from it and move forward.

Ultimately what I am trying to say is that whatever you do, life will be ok. It really will. It may feel overwhelming and awful right now but life WILL be ok. Of course think carefully about what you want but you will be a fantastic mother if it’s what you want and if you decide it isn’t what you want, you will be ok too. You have your life ahead and it will be filled with joy if you embrace your decisions whatever they are. PM if you would like.

OP I've left a lengthy response already and I can see why this thread is still going.

OP before you ask to get this post deleted (as what often happens, when hard facts are stated). Think long and hard of your future. You're clearly determined to have this baby- you've justified in your head and to many posters on here. Fine- your choice.

Have your baby in peace- and avoid any further unnecessary stress. But after I would strongly suggest that once you've had your baby- invest in some much needed therapy. To determine why it is- you seek out this need for love from unsuitable and unavailable men.
Question, why you are prepared to tolerate an abusive man for the sake of a family.

Whilst your having your therapy- get on birth control. Control your fertility and you control your freedom. I wish you strength.

your baby will be well loved and that is worth more than anything

It’s this sort of mindless bollocks that does no one any favours.

So by this logic you would not allow a woman to have an abortion then?

if you aren’t 💯 pro-life then you are a hypocrite - I’ll let you decide which

But what is the point of taking a test the first time after you sleep with them? All it tells you is that the didn't infect you with something on that occasion, doesn't mean they don't have an STD? The rational thing would be for you both to test before sleeping together
You need to not get yourself into another relationship for a while after this OP regardless of what decisions you make about this pregnancy. You are 24 yrs old and jumped straight from an abusive relationship into one where you are pregnant immediately..... Maybe you weren't admitting even to yourself that you were trying to get pregnant but neither were you actively doing anything to stop it while repeatedly having sex. Could there be a part of you deep down that wanted a baby and worry about the details later?

In which coutry are you in? Are you both British? Why at this age both his and your parents come with you to discuss this? Do you both live each with your parents?

This. Do not make wfh with a baby your plan.

OP it's really obvious you don't actually have a clue what life is like with a baby, toddler. A one year old does not just sit happily on a play mat in front of you while you are on a Teams meeting or working on a spreadsheet.
They sit happily for precisely 3 minutes before starting to fuss, moving away to do some thing unsafe, starting to whinge and want picking up or to do something different, getting frustrated by a toy.... You cannot work like this. You will think you are getting away with it and nobody at work notices you are constantly taking breaks and going out but they will and you could easily lose your job.

Nah. Men must always assume if they have sex she might get pregnant since no protection is 100 percent effective.

His options are - don't ejaculate into a woman he barely knows or assume she will get pregnantn when he does and deal accordingly.

At all times, every single time without exception that a man chooses to ejaculate into a woman he knows he might get her pregnant.

End.

Your comment is irrelevant.

He chose to ejaculate, he got her pregnant. Such is life.

Well, you wanted a baby and so here you are. The stupidity of having unprotected sex with someone after 5 minutes blows my mind and really isn't indicative of someone mature enough to raise a child. 🤷‍♀️
Noone is 'forcing' you to do anything so not sure of the purpose of the thread. Sounds like you need to come to terms with the fact that THIS is who you chose to father your child and you don't get to just say you don't want him around. If you're lucky, he won't bother but that's only great for you. And you are no longer the most important person in your life.
Time to grow up, you are now tied to these people for at least the next 18 years.

Did you even read what I said?

in my scenario protection was used. Try again

You've obviously commented on the wrong thread since there has been no hate of any kind on this one.

I know I’m not going crazy, but I don’t understand this place sometimes.

1. he can’t force you to have an abortion, but
2. you can force him to pay

see the difference here.

it should be:

1. he can’t force you to have an abortion, but
2. you can’t force him to pay if he has made it clear he wants you to have an abortion

and again

1. he can’t force you to have an abortion, but
2. you can force him to have a child…

see where I am going with this