To be upset DS is going to double barrel his surname when he gets married?

Why were you all dubious? Seriously, this site is mental sometimes. Most people wouldn't bat an eyelid.

That's quite disrespectful to the people whose names you're shortening.

I love my hyphenated name. Yes I have to spell it out to people as when you say a long name it can bamboozle them for a moment, but so what. Even some single names have to be spelled out as they're unusual.

When I marry my partner I have suggested that we take one of my 2 names and hyphenate it with his (our DD already has this name), either that or he keeps his name and I keep mine as is. I do not agree with women giving up their own name unless they want to. Glad it's becoming more common. It will be fine!

This.

They aren’t married and you already prey on subject of discord.

Sure. It is a good start.

Wow is this another thing I have to be worried about if I get married, not being able to choose my own name without family members having an opinion? I do now recall my female friend's new in-laws pressuring her to change her last name after she married, so maybe it is a thing after all.

You don't have to believe me, I couldn't care less.

They didn't care about the girl grandchild having the polish name as it wouldn't be passed on anyway, not that they didn't care about access to the child.

you are being very unreasonable. His choice his life. Personally I wouldn’t double barrel as when children marry if they double it will be 4 names and so on 🤣🤣 but that is my choice, this is theirs.

I find these names ridiculous and I only use the last name.
But, I would keep out of this, if I were you.

repeat after me.. not your life, not your problem.
we have double barrelled our names and tbh It’s fine. They both 2 syllables and 6 letters each. Our son is fine with it too . It’s really not that hard or deep to be honest. I wanted to keep my surname as my dad passed away and I wanted to carry on the surname. I’m the only one of my siblings to have a son so it means a lot

Re. the first point, an argument among adults shouldn't affect grandchild access. Re. the second point, I don't believe you (or her, rather) that they said they only cared about boys. Surely if that was the case, there would have been no issue with access as they wouldn't have wanted any?

You know it's just precious little boys.

Do parents of boys get a kingmaker complex, or something?

It was the breakdown of the relationship and their disrespect for her as a person which meant she wasn't comfortable with her grandchild alone around them, not tit for tat. They also said they didn't care if the grandchild had the polish surname or not because she was GIRL and they only cared about BOYS. Still feel the the same?

Have you suggested they maybe roll it together e.g. Greenson instead of Greenwood-Williamson (for example)? For practicality. Perhaps they haven't thought of it.

That's really mean to let an argument over names affect access to their grandchild. Talk about tit for tat.

If you gonna do that you may as well abandon a prefix altogether. What's the point of it?

who cares what people think behind his back?? No one’s business but the couple themselves.

I have a double barrel surname and it’s a pain in the arse. Can’t wait to get married and off-load the bloody thing, but no one has ever asked me 🤣

My wife casually asked if I would double barrel my name as she felt that taking my name was an antiquated concept. Totally agree, she still has hers. However my single argument to me not changing my name was the fact that I spent 4 months salary on a ring which I designed myself and travelled halfway around the world to find the perfect stone. Drove 11hrs to ask her dad for her hand, proposal in Chicago at Christmas with the Home Alone House as a backdrop (promising her I would work so hard so we would have a family and home like the McCalisters). Then singlehandedly planned a suprise wedding in the Caribbean during Covid. So while it all felt very antiquated to me and his and her matching tattoos would have been my choice - tradition seems to matter then, it kind of has to work both ways. My name is my name and I have two daughters and accept the fact than my name will probably die with me.

Omg, your anecdote about the cards....this reminded me of my exMil always addressing cards to me as Mrs. Peter Smith. (Those aren't the names; I'm just using them as illustration.)

I did take my husband's surname and never thought twice about it, but that was because of some quite serious problems with my own dad. I'd rather have my husband's name than his.

But being addressed as Mrs Peter Smith had me raging, absolutely raging! My first name isn't Peter!!!!!

Historically speaking, OP you are misinformed. The custom - not really a longstanding tradition - of women taking their husband's surnames only really took force throughout the UK in the 19th cent. Partly because of the concept - created because of industrialisation and fostered- understandably - by trades unions etc then of the male bread-winner and the asssociated 'family wage'. But also bear in mind that:

• the introduction of statutuary registration of births marriages and deaths in the UK in approx the 1850s, for the first time ever, created a bureaucratic legal document in which the father's surname was prominent. Before that, religious documents had followed various formulae, including some - especially in Scotland - whereby women were known throughout their lives by their family names: Mary MacArthur wife of James Scott, for example
• for centuries, the husbands of women with more wealth/power/aristocratic kudos often had to change their names to their wife's name as part of the marriage settlement. And even after that, their wives still used their birth family names and titles.

To be fair I know where you are coming from because my husband and I have spoken about our surname regarding our son. Now I took my husbands name which is a pain because my surname was Carter and his is a real rare surname in the UK and is 10 characters long and no one can spell it, where as Carter everyone knows how to spell that 😂
Our son is only 20 and no where near close to getting married but already my husband is putting pressure on him to keep the name. For the last 4 generations only one boy per gen to carry on the family name has been born and I just don’t think it’s that important.
It has nowt to do with my husband or I of our son takes on his girlfriends surname or not it is such a non issue to me, I just want him to be happy.

It's very common now to double barrel names.
I think it's a great idea.
When their children will be born then they have both parents last names.
Other countries do this.
I know many men that actually took wife's maiden name and dropped their own.
I've got my maiden name in the middle then married name at the end.
You'll get used to it in Sure.

For goodness sake get a grip. He'll still be the same person , ssme son, sane grandson etc.

Or everyone could just be Mx, regardless of sex or marital status.