To be upset DS is going to double barrel his surname when he gets married?

I agree. I know quite a few men who have gone double barrelled after marriage and no one cares.

I guess we'll all just work it out without too much hand-wringing. Thank God for the human brain and its ability to think through what to do in various situations.

I will talk about OP's son saying what a good job she did in raising a man who is with his time and respects his gf wish to keep her name as well. All the village will be talking about this progressive feminist man and OP might be invited on talk shows on how to raise a good man.

They could blend the two names into a new name, would work well if both names are long.

In what way is it the height of chaviness?

It's longer to write out and harder to memorise for people. For me that was the most important factor. But then I'm not attached to my surname so it wasn't a problem. For someone attached to their surname I understand chosing to have double names.

To be honest I very rarely have to read my name out for spelling. I have to fill it in online but mostly I use auto fill so I don’t even have to type it. I think it’s less of a problem in the internet age which is maybe why you have different views on it to your son.

Wtaf a post by a female that's anti female. Get a fg grip.

See: Spain

tHe aBiLiTy oF fUtUrE gEnErAtIoNs tO tRaCe HiStOrY iS rIdIcUlOuSlY hAmPeReD bY SeLf rEgArDiNg iNdIvIdUaLiSm

Please keep this sort of thing coming, I’ve not had this much fun in forever, it’s helping me shake off the shackles of my family’s chaotic system.

It's very clear that you want him to keep your surname and for her to give up hers. Apparently them doing the reverse wouldn't be "fair". Just own it OP. The length is irrelevant. You think she needs to fall into line and he should be in charge.

Have a look at the polling for this thread, and then consider re-evaluating whether your opinion is what "most people" think.

I'm trying to help you think through your thoughts using gentle questioning. It might help you to arrive at an understanding that you're being ridiculous.

OP, who are all these ‘people’ who will be ‘thinking about it behind his back’??

Come on now! 🤣 It’s only you (and his grandparents apparently)! Nobody else will give a flying fuck! Get a grip.

Oh mummy dear mummy, don’t allow yourself to get on this meddling train of “I asked “him” what he wanted “ believing yourself to be the guide for your son in his marriage. There’s a new queen in his life. Let them figure out their lives together. Only give your input and your opinions on their lives and their choices when asked for your opinion. I say this with kindness: make the decision now that you will stand aside and let them grow their marriage without your unsolicited input.

And what does a woman taking a man's name scream?

It's a hard one isn't it? I don't want the patriarchal associations that go with a girl dropping her name either, but it's the practical aspect. What happens when double-barrelled kids marry? Do we get a quadruple-barrelled name? What about genealogy and records?

The PP who said about taking the name of someone who wouldn't get custody if they broke up - wow that was an acerbic read, but they did have a point!

Maybe it should be marked that in the year.... the tradition changed and the female name was preserved, and we'll do that for a couple of thousand years instead.

Sadly I think she already is. It’s the second thread this weekend where women are behaving bizarrely over sons who are getting married/living with their girlfriends, I genuinely don’t understand it.

Could you possibly name this culture? I want to see how their family trees work out?

Right so you and your siblings manage just fine and therefore the entire concept is fine? Okey dokey. So what’s the system? What do your children do wrt surnames? Or is it a chaotic mess where one person chooses x and another chooses y and the ability of future generations to trace history is ridiculously hampered by self regarding individualism

Loads of couples do it now they want to show they are "equal" good for them, one of my Dc has a doubled barrelled married surname I don't think it's the issue that you think it Is op.

There's no system, people can choose whatever surname they wish according to their family traditions - they add some and drop some along the way. I don't even know where some of my dad's names have come from. Yes, the names fit onto passports - you can have more than one part on the surname. If people feel strongly about tradition they keep it going even if it's a bit more laborious. (my parents didn't feel as strongly as their ancestors did as they shortened mine to just two surnames)

For my own DC we didn't give them a middle name and instead gave them two surnames - I felt this keeps it pretty short and is most fair, and I don't mind if in the future they decide to use only one part of their surname, like I do.

Don't be that mother/mother in law. Just don't. It's their life, leave it it's not a big deal

You don’t think it would be fair for your son to completely lose his surname? But you’d be fine for her to change hers I assume?
What name do you have? You say “we” have a long surname and mention your DH so I assume you are married and changed your name when you got married? Why is that fine for you to do, but the same would be “unfair” on your son?

What happens in the future when DS offspring meets someone with an equally long name? Have 4 names as no one’s prepared to compromise? Where does it end. It’s over done these days and generally not done by upper class folk any more. If it wasn’t done 100 years ago, at least, it’s now considered a bit unnecessary and showy. Most women just keep their own name at work. Lots of people did use the woman’s maiden name as a middle name for a baby but it wasn’t used every day. My DF had this.

The op will just have to put up with it.