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Original poster

Had to leave Costa as breastfeeding was taking too long

257 replies

CalmFawn · 06/04/2025 00:27

Visited Costa last week with my 10 day old baby. Went to meet my best friend and it was my first outing without my husband ( so a bit nervous!)

Sat down and we both ordered a coffee and a cake. Had a good chat and she held baby etc. about 40 mins into seating, I started to breastfeed baby. Coffee was nearly gone but cakes hadn’t been eaten yet. A member of staff came over and demanded I stop feeding my baby as it was ‘too time consuming’ and we’ve been sat here for too long and it was a busy period so we need to leave. We pointed out there were over 10 empty tables and we still had cake but she ignored us and held the door open for us to leave. I was so upset and embarrassed I just stopped feeding baby and rushed out.

whilst reflecting over the weekend I wish I had had said something to her but worried I’ve missed some time frame that Costa allow and overran. Was she right to ask us to leave? Or was she in the wrong?

OP posts:
springintoaction321 · 06/04/2025 08:53

DappledThings · 06/04/2025 06:37

This is all ridiculous. You still had what you had bought in the cafe in front of you uneaten and were asked to leave because you were taking too long?

Not to mention why hadn't you eaten, or at least started the cake? You have to get used to be able to eat over the top of the baby's head.

So why do you have to post a dickhead comment?

It isn't 'all ridiculous' - you're just having a go.

Does it feel nice to tell someone off with a 10 day old baby?

Agenoria · 06/04/2025 08:52

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 06/04/2025 01:09

But surely the pont is the OP was being asked to move because she had paid for one coffee and a cake and was hogging a table; not because she was breast feeding.

Clearly that was not the reason, given the number of empty tables in the cafe at the time. Generally it's better for the cafe if at least some tables are occupied all the time, as people tend to be put off by empty cafes.

ThatPunnyPeachFatball · 06/04/2025 08:52

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Blondeshavemorefun · 06/04/2025 08:51

Well obv you should have gone to Starbucks. Many hours sat there chatting

I really can’t imagine they would ask you to leave after 40m if Empty tables and you had still had cake

eat the cake while talking /bf

would def like to see a screenshot of your complaint and their reply

RominaDina · 06/04/2025 08:51

IDontHateRainbows · 06/04/2025 08:45

I've seen them chuck out a homeless person who had fallen asleep on a sofa. He'd been there a while I'd imagine

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Well, while I sympathise with homeless people, I can understand why they did that.

Katypp · 06/04/2025 08:51

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Agenoria · 06/04/2025 08:50

CalmFawn · 06/04/2025 00:54

I wasn’t asking about the breastfeeding. I was asking if there was a specific timeframe you were allowed to sit in Costa. (Because according to the staff member that’s what she had an issue with)

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I've seen people settle down for ages with a computer, making a cup of coffee last at least an hour. Clearly this person had an issue with you feeding and used the time issue as an excuse.

Mrsdyna · 06/04/2025 08:49

If this is true that is disgusting

RominaDina · 06/04/2025 08:48

Flamingoknees · 06/04/2025 08:44

I'm in NE, it's become the norm to feel very rushed in restaurants. I've had waiters standing with arms folded, and not offering dessert menu, because we were last ones in, 30 mins before closing.
They all seem to close at 10 pm now, and have booking slots too.
Very rushed in others, earlier in the evening too. Someone standing with main course, while a waiter clears your starter. Asking if you are finished when you clearly aren't etc.

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That's awful. I'd hate that. I've never been rushed at all. In fact waiting staff in restaurants ask if we want anything else, another coffee etc.
In cafés they don't seem to care or notice, you pay at the till and that's that.
When I meet up with one particular friend in Starbucks we're usually 2 hours because we're catching up. No problem with staff, if they even notice.

IDontHateRainbows · 06/04/2025 08:45

CalmFawn · 06/04/2025 00:54

I wasn’t asking about the breastfeeding. I was asking if there was a specific timeframe you were allowed to sit in Costa. (Because according to the staff member that’s what she had an issue with)

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I've seen them chuck out a homeless person who had fallen asleep on a sofa. He'd been there a while I'd imagine

Flamingoknees · 06/04/2025 08:44

RominaDina · 06/04/2025 08:18

Personally I've never found that, but perhaps it's regional.

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I'm in NE, it's become the norm to feel very rushed in restaurants. I've had waiters standing with arms folded, and not offering dessert menu, because we were last ones in, 30 mins before closing.
They all seem to close at 10 pm now, and have booking slots too.
Very rushed in others, earlier in the evening too. Someone standing with main course, while a waiter clears your starter. Asking if you are finished when you clearly aren't etc.

UrinalCake · 06/04/2025 08:41

Presumably the woman with the display furniture for sale also didn't want people sitting on it to eat their lunch, bottle feed their babies or perform chair aerobics sessions either! The breastfeeding is a red herring. So yeah, not the most obvious candidate for a legal case.

Katypp · 06/04/2025 08:38

Nevermindthebuzzard · 06/04/2025 08:37

So you sat down on some woman's merchandise and you feel you should have been entitled to stay there because you were breastfeeding?

Jesus.

She didn't tell you to stop feeding. She asked you not to sit on her merchandise.

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Precisely.

Nevermindthebuzzard · 06/04/2025 08:37

Fruitytutti223 · 06/04/2025 01:11

Funnily enough I had this today. Chairs and tables at a fair. Sat down to feed babe. Woman said you can’t feed here. To be fair at this point I realised this woman was actually trying to sell the tables and chairs (even though not a single customer in sight). So I did say sorry and moved. But it did make me wonder after. Never had anyone ask me not to feed before. But it was her private property the chairs.

I told my partner after in a listen to this awkward moment context. He said well fair enough. It would be like you sitting on a sofa in dfs feeding. And I thought I am pretty sure it’s illegal for them to tell you you can’t feed in dfs. So that made me ponder about this ladies garden chairs.

Random musing and not probably not worth a court case to find out 😂

So you sat down on some woman's merchandise and you feel you should have been entitled to stay there because you were breastfeeding?

Jesus.

She didn't tell you to stop feeding. She asked you not to sit on her merchandise.

Craquedechevalier · 06/04/2025 08:37

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Katypp · 06/04/2025 08:36

Kiwi83 · 06/04/2025 08:10

She was somewhere suitable and there were 10 empty tables so impacting no-one 🤷‍♀️ and you're delusional if you think chain store cafés wouldn't do this, it's not the management team in the stores serving coffee, it's young and poorly trained staff.

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I was referring to the woman upthread who decided to feed her baby on chairs that were for sale.
I don't know what it is about bfeeding that turns some women into entitled, self-righteous, self-important prima donnas.
Feed your baby in a sensible place (ie not someone's sale stock) and no one would bat an eyelid.

Flamingoknees · 06/04/2025 08:33

Superfoodie123 · 06/04/2025 07:51

Is this mumsnet? Why is it courtesy not to feed your baby in public!??

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Courtesy not to sit on display furniture to breast feed/eat & drink/anything except a quick comfort try (seconds) if allowed. I say that as a firm supporter of breast feeding mums.

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 06/04/2025 08:32

I had this but 26 years ago in a park cafe. Plenty of tables but asked to leave as apparently they had had complaints (I was covered, I was a new mum and still getting used to breastfeeding). I left but regretted not making a fuss as soon as I was home.

I often work at a table in Costa and will be there for a while. Never been asked to move on.

UrinalCake · 06/04/2025 08:31

The law doesn't protect you from being asked to leave somewhere whilst breastfeeding, as long as it's not because of the breastfeeding. The fact that she mentioned the bf is a problem!

She was also breaking the law asking you to stop. If you're being asked to leave somewhere only because they're closing, which is legal, it's none of their concern whether you continue breastfeeding as you vacate the premises.

SawItOnTikTok · 06/04/2025 08:27

lauraloulou1 · 06/04/2025 01:00

Fuck the staff training. The law is clear. Fire the cunt.

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Are you feeling ok?

RominaDina · 06/04/2025 08:25

londongirl12 · 06/04/2025 08:23

And your friend said nothing either? You both need to stand up for yourself.

The friend, especially!

londongirl12 · 06/04/2025 08:23

And your friend said nothing either? You both need to stand up for yourself.

RominaDina · 06/04/2025 08:20

MaggieBsBoat · 06/04/2025 08:16

My mother always says that rape figures must be wrong because it never happened to her. Or my friend, doesn’t believe there’s a corporate glass ceiling for women and women arejust „making shit up“ (she works as a retail assistant in Super Drug). Just because you’ve never been asked to leave somewhere because you were breastfeeding doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Good grief!

To be fair, it's not because it's something general, it's the specifics of the case. It's so utterly outrageous!
I actually hope that it's some sort of misunderstanding (they were closing) because otherwise it's illegal and harassment.

Booboobagins · 06/04/2025 08:18

Report the employee to contact head office. Get your money back for the cakes at least. Wtf I know people use cobras etc as their office and stay for hours but staff need to deal with them directly!

RominaDina · 06/04/2025 08:18

BlondeMummyto1 · 06/04/2025 08:15

Hospitality venues care more about rushing people in and out.

Personally I've never found that, but perhaps it's regional.