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Original poster

Had to leave Costa as breastfeeding was taking too long

257 replies

CalmFawn · 06/04/2025 00:27

Visited Costa last week with my 10 day old baby. Went to meet my best friend and it was my first outing without my husband ( so a bit nervous!)

Sat down and we both ordered a coffee and a cake. Had a good chat and she held baby etc. about 40 mins into seating, I started to breastfeed baby. Coffee was nearly gone but cakes hadn’t been eaten yet. A member of staff came over and demanded I stop feeding my baby as it was ‘too time consuming’ and we’ve been sat here for too long and it was a busy period so we need to leave. We pointed out there were over 10 empty tables and we still had cake but she ignored us and held the door open for us to leave. I was so upset and embarrassed I just stopped feeding baby and rushed out.

whilst reflecting over the weekend I wish I had had said something to her but worried I’ve missed some time frame that Costa allow and overran. Was she right to ask us to leave? Or was she in the wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
CalmFawn · 07/04/2025 16:43

Photo attached. I haven’t read the recent posts but I saw one asking if it was closing time, it wasn’t. It was 11am.

Had to leave Costa as breastfeeding was taking too long
OP posts:
Original poster
CalmFawn · 07/04/2025 16:42

update - had a reply!

OP posts:
Agenoria · 07/04/2025 14:43

BlondiePortz · 06/04/2025 11:58

Or the customer could actually spend money and not use it as a waiting room they exist to make money it is a business so if you eant sit there for along time then actually buy things, next people will want to send the staff to the tower or stage a sit in, maybe take their house off them, can this thread get any more dramatic?

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They won't make any money by throwing people out of half-empty cafes. Rather the reverse, if anything, given that OP and her friend will probably never go back and will spread the word.

Agenoria · 07/04/2025 14:41

BinChicken1 · 06/04/2025 10:04

Was it closing time? Do we know this?

No, it's one of those excuses people have conveniently made up to try to excuse the cafe.

PeekabooRoots · 07/04/2025 12:34

I’m not a fan of Costa anyway but this staff member sounds absolutely awful!! I hope you get a huge apology and some sort of compensation station for being treated so badly. They are absolutely being unreasonable.

Whycanineverthinkofone · 07/04/2025 12:16

doodahdayy · 07/04/2025 10:19

Op said there were plenty of tables free so there was no excuse. A cafe in Brighton had a sign saying no laptops. That was good. So many people spend a couple of quid and expect to use the premises for most of the day. That was a very high traffic place though.

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Yes it’s basic awareness.

m&s cafe I’d never dream of getting my laptop out as the turnover is high.

empty Starbucks where most of the custom is drive through? Yep I’ll sit for a couple of hours and buy a couple of drinks and snacks.

if suddenly I notice people with trays struggling to find an empty table then I’ll take my laptop elsewhere to free up space.

if someone is bf though they should be able to stay until they’re finished.

thursday22august · 07/04/2025 11:04

You're unreasonable for leaving cake behind! The staff member was wrong but you know that and have complained now. It's hard when your tiny baby needs feeding and you're stressed (because you are self conscious in the early days). Don't let this put you off breastfeeding and if you're challenged again try and stand your ground

doodahdayy · 07/04/2025 10:19

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 06/04/2025 13:22

I’ve been in a Caffè Nero where people were asked to leave because they’d been there for ages with laptops, drinks long finished and no tables free for new customers standing with trays. It was great! Nobody should be sitting for hours having meetings, studying or working. It’s a place for buying and consuming food and drink.

But of course breastfeeding is protected anywhere the woman is permitted to be. Was the shop closing? That’s the only justification for OP being asked to leave after 40 minutes, unfinished food and lots of empty tables.

Op said there were plenty of tables free so there was no excuse. A cafe in Brighton had a sign saying no laptops. That was good. So many people spend a couple of quid and expect to use the premises for most of the day. That was a very high traffic place though.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 07/04/2025 08:27

Superfoodie123 · 06/04/2025 07:51

Is this mumsnet? Why is it courtesy not to feed your baby in public!??

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Because it's a retail outfit their sofas are for display for people to choose from not people to plonk themselves on for a rest or to sit on to breastfeed. Does that really need explaining?

ThisFluentBiscuit · 06/04/2025 19:30

Notonyourjelly · 06/04/2025 09:45

Well if they're going to feed their pet snakes there I wouldn't be at all surprised if they get thrown out!

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LMAO!

Snakes need to eat too y'know! Have you always been this snakist? 😂

ThisFluentBiscuit · 06/04/2025 19:28

Kbr22 · 06/04/2025 11:27

My father once fell asleep on a bed whilst shopping in Ikea. The staff just smiled and let him be!

Male privilege is lovely, isn't it. I bet they wouldn't have smiled so sweetly on a woman doing that.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 06/04/2025 14:16

AnticleaAndLaertes · 06/04/2025 14:13

On her third child....

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But first one she breastfed out and about.

AnticleaAndLaertes · 06/04/2025 14:13

maddening · 06/04/2025 09:36

She is 10 days in

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On her third child....

pelargoniums · 06/04/2025 13:27

I’ve never shopped at DFS, but presumably you’re allowed to sit on the sofas in the showroom to try them? So if you were doing that, you could surely breastfeed. They’re not providing facilities, you’re testing the sofa to see if it meets your needs. Unless you’re very bendy, the parts you’re feeding with aren’t the parts you’re sitting on the sofa with.

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 06/04/2025 13:22

I’ve been in a Caffè Nero where people were asked to leave because they’d been there for ages with laptops, drinks long finished and no tables free for new customers standing with trays. It was great! Nobody should be sitting for hours having meetings, studying or working. It’s a place for buying and consuming food and drink.

But of course breastfeeding is protected anywhere the woman is permitted to be. Was the shop closing? That’s the only justification for OP being asked to leave after 40 minutes, unfinished food and lots of empty tables.

KittensGardenofVerses · 06/04/2025 13:19

Even if I was chatting with Harry Styles, I'd have finished my cake in that time.

AgnesX · 06/04/2025 13:19

Fruitytutti223 · 06/04/2025 01:11

Funnily enough I had this today. Chairs and tables at a fair. Sat down to feed babe. Woman said you can’t feed here. To be fair at this point I realised this woman was actually trying to sell the tables and chairs (even though not a single customer in sight). So I did say sorry and moved. But it did make me wonder after. Never had anyone ask me not to feed before. But it was her private property the chairs.

I told my partner after in a listen to this awkward moment context. He said well fair enough. It would be like you sitting on a sofa in dfs feeding. And I thought I am pretty sure it’s illegal for them to tell you you can’t feed in dfs. So that made me ponder about this ladies garden chairs.

Random musing and not probably not worth a court case to find out 😂

You can feed wherever you like including DFS - just not on their furniture. Retail outlets don't have to provide facilities I believe.

SapphireSeptember · 06/04/2025 12:26

@BlondiePortz
Did you actually READ the OP? She hadn't even finished her cake. 🤦🏻‍♀️

thepariscrimefiles · 06/04/2025 12:06

BlondiePortz · 06/04/2025 11:58

Or the customer could actually spend money and not use it as a waiting room they exist to make money it is a business so if you eant sit there for along time then actually buy things, next people will want to send the staff to the tower or stage a sit in, maybe take their house off them, can this thread get any more dramatic?

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The OP and her friend had been there for about 40 minutes, OP hadn't finished eating her cake and there were loads of empty tables. So how was she stopping them from making money? Other customers could have sat at one of the empty tables. It is illegal to discriminate against breatfeeding mothers which is obviously what that member of staff was doing.

Whycanineverthinkofone · 06/04/2025 12:04

BlondiePortz · 06/04/2025 11:58

Or the customer could actually spend money and not use it as a waiting room they exist to make money it is a business so if you eant sit there for along time then actually buy things, next people will want to send the staff to the tower or stage a sit in, maybe take their house off them, can this thread get any more dramatic?

Show quote history

i go to a coffee shop usually because I have some time to kill (normally waiting for dc).

if they started putting a time limit on how long people could stay I suspect they’d go out of business very quickly.

most are there for the same reason and have laptops out. The place is never full.

if the place has tables spare it’s better for business to have people sat there. Make it look busier, at least sell some coffee and cake.

the alternate is people stop going.

if it’s permanently bursting with people struggling to sit that’s one thing. But unless you’re in m&s at lunch time I’ve never seen a Costa that full.

Funnywonder · 06/04/2025 12:01

BlondiePortz · 06/04/2025 11:58

Or the customer could actually spend money and not use it as a waiting room they exist to make money it is a business so if you eant sit there for along time then actually buy things, next people will want to send the staff to the tower or stage a sit in, maybe take their house off them, can this thread get any more dramatic?

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Christ. Where to start …

BlondiePortz · 06/04/2025 11:58

LoveHearts69 · 06/04/2025 10:49

If this is true then the is really sad and shocking and could be the end of someone’s breastfeeding journey being treated like that in public. I’d contact the newspapers about this tbh. Really get it out there and shame them for this!

Or the customer could actually spend money and not use it as a waiting room they exist to make money it is a business so if you eant sit there for along time then actually buy things, next people will want to send the staff to the tower or stage a sit in, maybe take their house off them, can this thread get any more dramatic?

Kbr22 · 06/04/2025 11:27

My father once fell asleep on a bed whilst shopping in Ikea. The staff just smiled and let him be!

TheIceBear · 06/04/2025 10:59

YANBU but just out of interest how could it take you 40 mins to drink coffee. It’d be cold and rank by then.

Notsuchafattynow · 06/04/2025 10:56

lauraloulou1 · 06/04/2025 01:00

Fuck the staff training. The law is clear. Fire the cunt.

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Hideous language. You should be ashamed.

No one's getting fired either. It's a case of re training the employee.