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AIBU?

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Original poster

Were we BU asking to move tables?

55 replies

FurFangsPawsAndClaws · 05/04/2025 21:04

As today was a lovely sunny day me and DP went to have lunch in a pub and sat in the small beer garden.

The pub was busy and we were sat next to a couple with 3 children, two girls around 4 and 6 and a boy of around 8/9.

The parents were chatting and the kids were running around the tables, shouting and fighting with each other and at one point picking flowers until they were asked to stop. The staff came over in the end and asked the parents to try to keep them sat at the table because staff were bringing food out.

We were just trying to ignore them, there was another table to move to but we decided to wait until our food arrived first as staff knew where we were sitting.

The kids started coming to our table when their parents still weren’t interacting with them after they had been told to stay by their own table, we had a quick conversation but then said they needed to go to their own table as we were going to have our lunch. The eldest girl said that they would just sit and share with us because their parents wouldn’t mind. We were trying to be polite but at that point I just said we wanted to sit by ourselves.

When our food came out the kids all came flocking back over to the table and I knew we weren’t going to get any peace so I said to the staff we wanted to move, they were completely understanding and it was obvious why. We moved to a different table and more people arrived and sat where we had been sitting, the children carried on hanging around them instead.

It was a bit annoying but I didn’t think it was a big issue and wouldn’t have thought anything of it but as the family were leaving the dad came over and told us it was incredibly rude how we’d behaved by being rude to his children and then pointedly asking to move. He said the kids had been trying to make friends with us and had been made to feel like a nuisance.

DP said they were his children and it wasn’t our job to entertain them, I was worried it was going to get heated but his wife came and pulled him away, she mouthed “sorry” as they left.

I don’t really think I am BU but at the same time DP said afterwards he felt a bit guilty in case we had genuinely upset the kids and it wasn’t their fault they were being ignored by their parents.

I think it wasn’t our job and I wasn’t spending my afternoon babysitting someone else’s kids because they couldn’t be arsed!

OP posts:
FLOWER19833 · 05/04/2025 22:58

godmum56 · 05/04/2025 21:37

who is the 1% who voted yabu??????

Maybe the dad is on here

BellissimoGecko · 05/04/2025 22:50

God, no. Their parents were being useless melts. You don’t go out for a meal to make friends with random kids - what an odd idea.

FabuIous · 05/04/2025 22:45

It also would have been fine for you to tell them you were having a date and for them to buzz off now.

Ally886 · 05/04/2025 22:43

Flowergirl45 · 05/04/2025 21:44

That’s exactly how I feel about dogs in pubs. They’re untrained, constantly seeking attention, and their owners always say, “He’s friendly and just wants you to pet him.” WTF!

People are perfectly fine being harassed by a dog, but if it’s a child, suddenly it’s a huge problem. Makes no sense.

"It makes no sense". What a stupid response.

Both children and dogs should be kept close and not bother others.

I can't stand children but I love dogs. I'm not wrong how I feel, not are you. Both make sense. Variety is the spice of life, or maybe not in your case. Probably order a korma at the indian

Original poster
FurFangsPawsAndClaws · 05/04/2025 22:31

Renamed · 05/04/2025 21:33

Very strange. Do you think they hadn’t been fed?

They definitely hadn’t been fed, they were asking about getting food and commenting on other people’s meals and kept asking what we were having.

That was one of the main reasons I didn’t want them sitting with us, I knew DP wouldn’t be able to eat without giving them some of our food, if he had I’d have been fuming.

I live in an area with lots of tourists and it’s common for people to just let the kids run round, I’ve never been chastised for not babysitting though!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 05/04/2025 22:18

FurFangsPawsAndClaws · 05/04/2025 21:28

Thank you, I know it seems silly I’m doubting myself but DP was acting like we might have emotionally scarred those kids for life. I said we didn’t tell them to fuck off! It was their own parents ignoring them.

The man seemed really wound up over the fact that we didn’t want to sit with his kids, I think he was just hoping we’d say nothing and keep them busy after they were told to sit down.

Well I'd have been firmer than you in the first place and the father would have had a large piece of my mind!

The entitlement of some people actually beggars belief these days

Redflagsabounded · 05/04/2025 22:17

It's not scarring for a child to find out they're not the centre of the universe and it's inappropriate to annoy randomers, it's helpful to them.

You were nicer than I'd have been.

Flowergirl45 · 05/04/2025 21:47

godmum56 · 05/04/2025 21:37

who is the 1% who voted yabu??????

People with great amount of brain cells.

Flowergirl45 · 05/04/2025 21:44

That’s exactly how I feel about dogs in pubs. They’re untrained, constantly seeking attention, and their owners always say, “He’s friendly and just wants you to pet him.” WTF!

People are perfectly fine being harassed by a dog, but if it’s a child, suddenly it’s a huge problem. Makes no sense.

Pandimoanymum · 05/04/2025 21:44

You absolutely know that there will be a poster along shortly who does vote YABU and will tell the OP that yes, she has done a Terrible Thing and her actions will have emotionally traumatised those children.🙄

godmum56 · 05/04/2025 21:38

Pandimoanymum · 05/04/2025 21:38

Probably a banana fingers mistake.

Show quote history

blimey I hope so!

Pandimoanymum · 05/04/2025 21:38

godmum56 · 05/04/2025 21:37

who is the 1% who voted yabu??????

Probably a banana fingers mistake.

godmum56 · 05/04/2025 21:37

who is the 1% who voted yabu??????

Pandimoanymum · 05/04/2025 21:36

Of course YANBU! The kid's father was U, and their mum knew it, hence pulling him away and mouthing "sorry". I honestly don't understand these parents (or dog owners!) who think everyone automatically wants to "make friends with" their charges and make no attempt to prevent it.

Hankunamatata · 05/04/2025 21:35

They couldn't be arsed to parent. Not everyone wants to interact woth kids when they are out and about or trying to eat

RancidRuby · 05/04/2025 21:34

YANBU. You chatted briefly to them then asked them to go back to their parents, you were firm but polite and regardless you don't owe anyone your time and attention beyond basic courtesy. Obviously it's not the children's fault that they didn't understand a social cue to bugger off, that's on their shit parents.

Renamed · 05/04/2025 21:33

Very strange. Do you think they hadn’t been fed?

whycantibeselfishforonce · 05/04/2025 21:32

Bloody hell OP - of course YANBU.

He gets the CF of the week award.
His kids were being a bloody nuisance but it was his and his wife's fault for not parenting them.

I actually feel a bit sorry for the Mum being married to an absolute prick who clearly knows he is a prick. Honestly, some people!

Youaremythtaken · 05/04/2025 21:31

The person who will scar them for life will be their parents who clearly weren't giving them attention and picking fights with strangers.

If anything you were helping the kids - they SHOULD be cautious about approaching strangers. Maybe they'll think twice next time - a that's a good thing.

WaltzingWaters · 05/04/2025 21:30

YANBU AT ALL!!
The parents on the other hand…

Original poster
FurFangsPawsAndClaws · 05/04/2025 21:28

Thank you, I know it seems silly I’m doubting myself but DP was acting like we might have emotionally scarred those kids for life. I said we didn’t tell them to fuck off! It was their own parents ignoring them.

The man seemed really wound up over the fact that we didn’t want to sit with his kids, I think he was just hoping we’d say nothing and keep them busy after they were told to sit down.

OP posts:
LittleBigHead · 05/04/2025 21:26

YANBU. They sound like shit parents.

bumblefeline · 05/04/2025 21:26

YANBU at all, I'm peri and permanently cross at the moment and my response would not have been as dignified.

This is why I don't visit beer gardens anymore.

PullTheBricksDown · 05/04/2025 21:24

I can't believe he had the nerve to complain that you didn't want to talk to random kids when he didn't want to and they were HIS kids! Off the scale entitlement.

NotDarkGothicMama · 05/04/2025 21:21

YANBU. You treated them like they were being a nuisance because they were being a nuisance! If I had the opportunity of a child-free pub lunch with DH there is no way in hell I'd spend it entertaining random strangers' DC.