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Original poster

A casual friend has just told me she's standing as a Reform candidate

417 replies

Mumblechum0 · 05/04/2025 15:25

And I have no clue how to respond.

I've always liked her, we're not close, ie don't do anything just the two of us, but are often in the same group at parties, book group, joint birthday bashes etc.

She's very posh, professional job, husband's a head fund manager (he walks round in a tweed cap and goes shooting on his family estate etc etc...just setting the scene, she's well educated etc.)

Anyway, she messaged me yesterday to say that she wanted me to know in advance that she's standing as a Reform candidate in our local elections; she didn't ask for my support, but didn't want me to just see her face on a leaflet through the door.

I'm married to a black man, have a mixed race son.

I haven't responded yet, as I don't know whether it's best to just ignore, or to say thanks for letting me know, or actually to say I'm quite horrified (which is my actual reaction).

Any ideas?

OP posts:
lnks · 05/04/2025 19:57

All political parties have members who are racist. It’s not unique to Reform UK. There are members of the Labour Party who have expressed racists views in the last few years.

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 05/04/2025 19:55

PandoraSox · 05/04/2025 19:45

Well yes. Especially those who spout Reform inspired conspiracy crap.

Show quote history

@PandoraSox , oh dear the ability to listen to and try to understand those who don’t agree with us does require certain skills and intelligence along with a level of maturity. Hurling insults on the other hand, not so much.

scorpiogirly · 05/04/2025 19:54

What does being married to a black man and having a mixed race son have to do with it?

Notashamed13 · 05/04/2025 19:53

Cloudyvibes · 05/04/2025 15:41

Not all reform supporters are racist.

This.

Itchybritches · 05/04/2025 19:47

It wouldn’t affect my friendship. I feel I’m mature and intelligent enough to be able to rub along people with opposing politics to my own, provided they weren’t extreme activists themselves. If it bothered me, I’d ask them if we can avoid talking about politics and not try and get me to sign up to the same party.
I imagine there’ll be many people voting Reform to send a message to Labour and Tories. I don’t for one second think all people who have an issue with immigration are racists.

Snoringdogsfarting · 05/04/2025 19:45

I am a Reform supporter and for reasons I don’t need to go in to I most definitely am not racist.

PandoraSox · 05/04/2025 19:45

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 05/04/2025 19:38

@PandoraSox , one is best not to assume any type of intelligence or knowledge from many on Mumsnet.

Show quote history

Well yes. Especially those who spout Reform inspired conspiracy crap.

AthWat · 05/04/2025 19:42

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 05/04/2025 19:31

I wouldn't interpret it as support, especially if blocked afterwards.

Its just an acknowledgement it has been seen.

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I mean, the block would carry a message, but I would think a thumbs up means "I've seen that and I am fine with it". Thats the issue with emojis reallly.

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 05/04/2025 19:39

Yorkshirelass04 · 05/04/2025 17:59

The people who concealed the truth about the riots are responsible for them? What rubbish. People fucked around with the law and found out.
I hope Farage is sending you a cheque in the post for those comments!

Show quote history

@Yorkshirelass04 , because you say so it must be true. 🙄

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 05/04/2025 19:38

PandoraSox · 05/04/2025 18:05

It is quite odd that @Icanthinkformyselfthanks imagined that none of us would be familiar with the Connelly case.

@PandoraSox , one is best not to assume any type of intelligence or knowledge from many on Mumsnet.

Yorkshirelass04 · 05/04/2025 19:34

AthWat · 05/04/2025 19:31

25% of the UK being both stupid and racist seems to me to be an underestimate if anything.

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Yep. About a quarter voted Brexit!

AthWat · 05/04/2025 19:31

CuddlyDodoToy · 05/04/2025 19:25

According to opinion polls, more than 25% of the electorate would vote for Reform if there was a general election today. They are ahead of both Labour and the Conservatives in many polls.

That's a lot of people to dismiss as racist and not worthy of your friendship.

I have family and friends who don't share my political views. It doesn't bother me in the slightest who they vote for and we manage to stay friends.

I am one of seven siblings and between us we voted for the Conservatives (2, including me), Lib Dems (2), Reform (2) and Labour (1) with no falling out, or anyone claiming to be morally superior.

25% of the UK being both stupid and racist seems to me to be an underestimate if anything.

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 05/04/2025 19:31

AthWat · 05/04/2025 19:29

Why would you thumbs up it? Surely that would be interpreted as support?

Show quote history

I wouldn't interpret it as support, especially if blocked afterwards.

Its just an acknowledgement it has been seen.

AthWat · 05/04/2025 19:29

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 05/04/2025 15:44

I would thumbs up the message and then block her.

I couldn't be done with anyone who voted reform let alone stood for them.

Why would you thumbs up it? Surely that would be interpreted as support?

Rainbowpug · 05/04/2025 19:28

babasaclover · 05/04/2025 18:59

Green is out the window. The country is on its knees and the man on the ground can’t afford the bills and to eat even on 2 full time good wages. Unless greener is cheaper it’s over for green. Tbh I forget they even exist - and I say that as someone with an electric car and other green behaviour

Edited
Show quote history

Never
It's the only logical choice

CuddlyDodoToy · 05/04/2025 19:25

According to opinion polls, more than 25% of the electorate would vote for Reform if there was a general election today. They are ahead of both Labour and the Conservatives in many polls.

That's a lot of people to dismiss as racist and not worthy of your friendship.

I have family and friends who don't share my political views. It doesn't bother me in the slightest who they vote for and we manage to stay friends.

I am one of seven siblings and between us we voted for the Conservatives (2, including me), Lib Dems (2), Reform (2) and Labour (1) with no falling out, or anyone claiming to be morally superior.

Thulpelly · 05/04/2025 19:18

People’s politics are based in their values and understanding of world. I want the people I socialise with to have similar values to me. It’s a choice to vote (let alone run) for a right-wing party.

If she’s a casual friend I would phase her out, if she was a closer friend I would ask her why Reform (not argue, just ask her to explain).

Goldenbear · 05/04/2025 19:03

Sunflowerhoneybee · 05/04/2025 18:56

Waaaah! Someone has different views to me! Big tantrum!

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Not just different views, they are extreme views

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 05/04/2025 19:00

Sunflowerhoneybee · 05/04/2025 18:56

Waaaah! Someone has different views to me! Big tantrum!

Show quote history

How is blocking a racist, who obviously has issue with your husband and children, due to the aforementioned racism, throwing a tantrum on any level?

People are entitled to their opinions, and people are entitled to stop communication because of those opinions.

The fact you're calling it a tantrum tells me all I need to know about you.

babasaclover · 05/04/2025 18:59

Rainbowpug · 05/04/2025 18:35

They are not going to get in
The future is green

Show quote history

Green is out the window. The country is on its knees and the man on the ground can’t afford the bills and to eat even on 2 full time good wages. Unless greener is cheaper it’s over for green. Tbh I forget they even exist - and I say that as someone with an electric car and other green behaviour

Bikergran · 05/04/2025 18:58

Mumblechum0 · 05/04/2025 15:25

And I have no clue how to respond.

I've always liked her, we're not close, ie don't do anything just the two of us, but are often in the same group at parties, book group, joint birthday bashes etc.

She's very posh, professional job, husband's a head fund manager (he walks round in a tweed cap and goes shooting on his family estate etc etc...just setting the scene, she's well educated etc.)

Anyway, she messaged me yesterday to say that she wanted me to know in advance that she's standing as a Reform candidate in our local elections; she didn't ask for my support, but didn't want me to just see her face on a leaflet through the door.

I'm married to a black man, have a mixed race son.

I haven't responded yet, as I don't know whether it's best to just ignore, or to say thanks for letting me know, or actually to say I'm quite horrified (which is my actual reaction).

Any ideas?

I would politely say you are absolutely horrified that she would want to be associated with such a blatantly f*scist organisation, and that you consider your friendship at an end. Then block her, and remember to vote.

RatandToad · 05/04/2025 18:57

Gogogo12345 · 05/04/2025 15:55

What if it was your husband or kids that voted reform? What would you actually do?

Show quote history

I went no contact with my father after he joined UKIP. He continued to follow the Farage path until he died. Husband and kids share my beliefs and values, so it is highly unlikely they would ever vote Reform.

Sunflowerhoneybee · 05/04/2025 18:57

You do the obvious thing, pout, shout, stomp your feet, block her forever more and virtue signal about it all over the Internet.
Ti's the only way.

Sunflowerhoneybee · 05/04/2025 18:56

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 05/04/2025 15:44

I would thumbs up the message and then block her.

I couldn't be done with anyone who voted reform let alone stood for them.

Waaaah! Someone has different views to me! Big tantrum!

Pricelessadvice · 05/04/2025 18:56

I have friends who align with different political parties than those I do, including Reform.

I try not to lump people into a category as a certain type of person, based on their political leanings. I am adult enough to understand that people come at things from their own experience, upbringing, choice of career etc.

So I would thank her for letting you know and think no more of it.

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