This
excuses are just digging a hole of lies, and will catch you out
I’d be asking her if we can we meet up for a coffee in next few days (not at work) or a pub. A neutral public space so neither of you can loose your shit,
buy her a drink, then sit down and say up front that you want to talk to her about something that is making you quite stressed, and is a difficult conversation for you to have with her. Say it’s about the festival, and her comments to you.
thenckick off by Ask her first about what she wants to get form attending the festival- why is she going. If she’s genuinely interest3d in festival , say encouraging things, if she frames it in context of your company, say nothing, just mirror back to her what you hear for clarification.
Then say I’d now like to tell you why I go…. Emphasise that you are an introvert (even if you don’t seem that way to her) and that this it is your time to get into your headspace, recharge away form family and friends, and do exactly as you please when you please, even if that’s hiding your caravan shut away like a hermit.
depedning on reason she gave for her attending, then say you feel that her plans involving you, of socialising with you, are therefore creating a problem for you. You don’t want to be rude, and indeed want to be seen as kind, and therefore sometimes have a hard time saying no. However, you feel she appears to have formed the wrong impression of why you go to this festival and without your family, and that her remarks about spending time together again have alarmed you. Say that you found it very difficult to say no last year, and being forced into company, giving up your time to do what you wanted, especially feeling pressured into babysitting by her buying a ticket based on assuming you’d babysit.
by end of holiday, you felt it had been spoilt, you hadn’t enjoyed it. You ended up feeling you had wasted your precious break and was frustrated.
Make sure you say it not aimed at her. In other times and places you like her company. But not on this holiday.
ask her then if she understands this
hopefully she’ll realise what she’s done, and apologies and back off and reassure you they’ll not intrude at all
However If she debates and tries to persuade you otherwise, then you say clearly, these are my boundaries, i will not be spending time with you at all, and that you expect her to respect your boundary by not “calling in” to your caravan at any time. Explain again that it is your sanctuary and retreat away from others, and you don’t want to spoil your time away like last year
frame everything in sentences of “I”, I feel , I think, I want, I will…..NOT “you”. Dont say: you mustn’t, you shouldn’t, you need to.
Apologise at the end, say you hope she understands, or if she has then recognise and say you appreciate her respected you. State agian that you wanted to lay out your issue before you both arrive and in the heat of the moment it becomes more awkward.
Then, when you go reinforce your boundaries whilst at festival. Say hello, be polite with a few bland “are you having a good time” but pass on quickly, don’t agree to any drink. At all. Don5 share meals. This year,at least, you need a very firm boundary. Don’t let her step foot in the caravan, don’t take pity on tents blowing away, or ice storms. But maintain those boundaries with any one else you know there as well. Ram message home with her .
if sh3cpresists in going in future years after that, you can perhaps share a drink or takeaway one evening…but keep boundaries clear.