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AIBU?

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Stock markets, inheritance, i don't understand

258 replies

Vlinty · 05/04/2025 10:55

My mother died in 2024 and father this March. Years before they had made me power of attorney (because my husband works in finance he is a lawyer, so could help me. I am clueless and they knew this.)

After mum died, my DH took over, because my dad had dementia.

He changed a lot of their funds over to higher risk , their financial advisor told me they had always wanted low risk.

We sold the house and dh got me to invest with another fund manager. Take the money out of ns&I as well.

So some money with new advisor, some with old advisor but all higher risk than my parents had it

Now this morning he has told me that everything is down 25%.... obviously because the markets have plummeted following trump's tariffs.

I am so distraught, I have 2 siblings who will want their share of the money. I'm really angry with dh and he now won't talk to mr because I'm panicking and he won't help me - just says I won't listen. When it is him who will not answer a straight question.

Please help me calm down.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 05/04/2025 12:36

FairKoala · 05/04/2025 12:15

Vlinty
Does your dh gamble?

What you have to realise is that for all your dh’s so called intelligence he lacks basic understanding of consequences

It wasn’t a secret that Trump was going to bring in these tariffs

Although judging by a lot of Americans cheering this on you do wonder if they realise they are cheering on the biggest “tax” hike they are going to be paying for

Honestly I don't think they had a clue.

thepariscrimefiles · 05/04/2025 12:35

Panama2 · 05/04/2025 12:13

If the value of your late father’s estate has gone down there will be less IHT to pay which is a good thing. Your DH should not have been moving investments into high risk at all and as you had POA you must take responsible for allowing it to happen. As already stated you need to sit tight and wait for the prices to rise at the moment only a paper loss. Also with share prices dropping they will be cheaper to buy.
I would wonder what your DH is doing with your joint finances though what exactly is his job?

So even though OP and her siblings will end up with less money due to the 25% loss of value in these investments than if the crash hadn't happened, it's still a good thing as less inheritance tax will be due?

Inheritance tax is villified to such an extent by the wealthy people who are the only people paying it, that they would rather end up with less money due to the crash than inherit more because that means paying more IHT which funds services for everyone.

If the OP's parents legacy included a property, they would have been able to inherit £1 million before being liable for IHT. However, it sounds as though her DH sold the property and invested the proceeds in high risk stocks and shares before the death of OP's father. He sounds like a bit of a gambler tbh.

LittleBearPad · 05/04/2025 12:34

Your husband has been greedy and foolish. Fine for him to play silly buggers with your share if you wanted him to. But not your siblings’ share.

LittleBearPad · 05/04/2025 12:33

TonTonMacoute · 05/04/2025 12:32

Don't panic! If you haven't yet applied for probate surely this is good news, you want as low a value on the portfolio as possible for probate purposes, to reduce any IHT.

If you wait, the value will go up again, then you can divide it up, or put it in a family trust or whatever you decide.

How long are you expecting the siblings to wait for their share?

TonTonMacoute · 05/04/2025 12:32

Don't panic! If you haven't yet applied for probate surely this is good news, you want as low a value on the portfolio as possible for probate purposes, to reduce any IHT.

If you wait, the value will go up again, then you can divide it up, or put it in a family trust or whatever you decide.

PrioritisePleasure24 · 05/04/2025 12:30

Do your siblings know how they were invested since you were POA? Did they agree with the move? I think that’s more of a question really. If they were aware of the new investment strategy and were happy with it?

If they were unaware and are expecting a certain amount of inheritance in money and not investments it will be more of an issue. If they were aware then it’s part of investing… the highs and lows and could inherit the stocks/shares as is.

Negroany · 05/04/2025 12:28

I don't understand why you didn't distribute the funds once you sold the house, why invest it?

Whose money is it that you invested, what does the will say? Are you the executor of the will?

Did you sell the house after your DF died?

Once your DF died you no longer had poa and your DH had no business investing people's inheritances (other than yours, arguably!).

Trolleysaregoodforemployment · 05/04/2025 12:27

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 05/04/2025 12:24

Well that doesn’t help as the dad is already dead.

My comment was irony and directed at a specific post. What I think about this situation I posted in a separate post. Feel free to read it.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 05/04/2025 12:24

Trolleysaregoodforemployment · 05/04/2025 12:22

Every cloud...

Well that doesn’t help as the dad is already dead.

Witchlite · 05/04/2025 12:24

1457bloom · 05/04/2025 12:01

On another note, you pay less inheritance tax if value of shares has fallen.

This isn’t correct. The IHT will be calculated on the value of the shares on the date of death.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 05/04/2025 12:23

It may have gone down yesterday but that is recoverable and you also need to consider how much it has gone up by prior to that before you know if your husband has done anything wrong. It could still be a net increase.
the stocks only need to be sold if you/your siblings choose that. You can also leave them in the stock market for longer.

Trolleysaregoodforemployment · 05/04/2025 12:22

1457bloom · 05/04/2025 12:01

On another note, you pay less inheritance tax if value of shares has fallen.

Every cloud...

Trolleysaregoodforemployment · 05/04/2025 12:19

Your DH is an arse. As executor YOU should have taken the time to understand investing.. If your siblings want their inheritance it is only fair they get what they should have received and you take the hit on these appalling investment decisions. On paper my pension just went through the floor, thanks to the orange idiot, I just have to hope the market rallies before I need to draw on it. My decision, my consequence. Your decision your consequence.

This is why choosing an executor should be more considered. When given access to funds they have not have to work for some people become blinded to their own incompetence.

Bitethehandthatfeedsyou · 05/04/2025 12:17

It's really scary - my pension dropped by £14K yesterday. Also the value of the company I work for dropped by $1 billion. I've had two massive projects I was working on paused because overnight the tariffs have caused so much uncertainty.

I am just sitting tight to see what happens for now because I don't really know what else to do.

Negroany · 05/04/2025 12:17

Oriunda · 05/04/2025 12:16

This. I used to work on the floor; my DH still does. Remember that the stocks held (assuming stocks held individually or within funds) will still be paying dividends and thus generating income.

I'm sure you know, but the OP may not, that not all stocks pay dividends. We have no idea if the stocks the OP now holds pay any dividends.

Negroany · 05/04/2025 12:16

Vlinty · 05/04/2025 11:39

My parents actively wanted my husband to do it, as they didn't think I could do it, nor my siblings sadly.

Why didn't they give him the poa then?

Oriunda · 05/04/2025 12:16

edwinbear · 05/04/2025 12:03

Please don’t panic OP. I work in financial markets. I was sat on a bank trading floor for 9/11, the financial crisis, during Covid and yesterday. Yesterday was without doubt, one of the worst sell offs I’ve seen during my 25 year career, it was complete carnage. I take a very low risk approach to my personal investments, probably because I’ve seen so many crashes it makes me wary - I ‘lost’ about £20k overnight in my share portfolio. I daren’t check my pension fund as that will be worse.

But it’s a paper loss only, I don’t need the money right now so I am happy to sit on them and ride it out. Markets will recover, we just don’t know how long it will take. Whilst I’m sat on those shares, I’m still earning dividends, some of them pay quite well.

Your DH has, in my view, over stepped the mark, although I’m sure he was only trying to get a better return. There’s not much that can be done right now, it’s a damage limitation exercise. If you don’t need to cash anything in right now, all you can do is speak with your siblings. Find out if they are happy to take ownership of the shares instead of selling them and taking a lower amount of cash. They may be happy to have the shares, take the dividend income and also wait for things to recover.

This. I used to work on the floor; my DH still does. Remember that the stocks held (assuming stocks held individually or within funds) will still be paying dividends and thus generating income.

FairKoala · 05/04/2025 12:15

Vlinty
Does your dh gamble?

What you have to realise is that for all your dh’s so called intelligence he lacks basic understanding of consequences

It wasn’t a secret that Trump was going to bring in these tariffs

Although judging by a lot of Americans cheering this on you do wonder if they realise they are cheering on the biggest “tax” hike they are going to be paying for

Panama2 · 05/04/2025 12:13

If the value of your late father’s estate has gone down there will be less IHT to pay which is a good thing. Your DH should not have been moving investments into high risk at all and as you had POA you must take responsible for allowing it to happen. As already stated you need to sit tight and wait for the prices to rise at the moment only a paper loss. Also with share prices dropping they will be cheaper to buy.
I would wonder what your DH is doing with your joint finances though what exactly is his job?

Negroany · 05/04/2025 12:13

Oriunda · 05/04/2025 12:11

What’s your definition of high risk? My portfolio and that of my son’s isn’t high risk …. Lots of blue chips, banks, usual stocks. It’s lost thousands over the past week, thanks to idiot Trump. The markets are down everywhere; this applies to more conservative funds too. The market also was up when Trump got elected,

Whatever you do, do not panic and insist your DH sell. Unless the cash is needed this very minute, ride it out. Hell, I’ve just bought more US funds for my DS, as they’re cheaper right now. They will recover. My US stocks like Coca-Cola pay very nice dividends, which makes up for the loss - on paper - in value.

Edited

Surely you've not lost 25% at this point though? I've lost about 10% in my mixed portfolio.

PorridgeEater · 05/04/2025 12:13

Well I'm not sure I'd want financial advice from someone like your DH - maybe split investments between high and low risk? But best not panic - many people are in the same position because of Trump (Truss did a lot of damage too).
And find someone who can explain things to you if DH can't.

HeySnoodie · 05/04/2025 12:12

Bonkers that you let DH put the cash in high risk when you had financial adviser saying it’s not what your parents wanted

Negroany · 05/04/2025 12:12

1457bloom · 05/04/2025 12:01

On another note, you pay less inheritance tax if value of shares has fallen.

If they are due to pay any.

Oriunda · 05/04/2025 12:11

What’s your definition of high risk? My portfolio and that of my son’s isn’t high risk …. Lots of blue chips, banks, usual stocks. It’s lost thousands over the past week, thanks to idiot Trump. The markets are down everywhere; this applies to more conservative funds too. The market also was up when Trump got elected,

Whatever you do, do not panic and insist your DH sell. Unless the cash is needed this very minute, ride it out. Hell, I’ve just bought more US funds for my DS, as they’re cheaper right now. They will recover. My US stocks like Coca-Cola pay very nice dividends, which makes up for the loss - on paper - in value.

HeySnoodie · 05/04/2025 12:10

you should have insisted he move it to low risk and refused to take no for an answer