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Original poster

Stock markets, inheritance, i don't understand

258 replies

Vlinty · 05/04/2025 10:55

My mother died in 2024 and father this March. Years before they had made me power of attorney (because my husband works in finance he is a lawyer, so could help me. I am clueless and they knew this.)

After mum died, my DH took over, because my dad had dementia.

He changed a lot of their funds over to higher risk , their financial advisor told me they had always wanted low risk.

We sold the house and dh got me to invest with another fund manager. Take the money out of ns&I as well.

So some money with new advisor, some with old advisor but all higher risk than my parents had it

Now this morning he has told me that everything is down 25%.... obviously because the markets have plummeted following trump's tariffs.

I am so distraught, I have 2 siblings who will want their share of the money. I'm really angry with dh and he now won't talk to mr because I'm panicking and he won't help me - just says I won't listen. When it is him who will not answer a straight question.

Please help me calm down.

OP posts:
DollopOfFun · 05/04/2025 11:08

titchy · 05/04/2025 11:04

Actually I’m not with the dh at all. The OP’s father is elderly. He is absolutely NOT a suitable client to have everything in high risk. The older you get, the less risk your funds should be.

Right now though, you are where you are. And you will have to ride this out, and, bluntly, hope his assets don’t need to be cashed in soon.

But take this as a sign NOT to trust your dh. You need to either get to grips with his financial affairs yourself, or pay someone. Your dh doesn’t have a clue. And young hold PoA not your dh. This would make me reconsider my marriage if I’m honest.

I think OPs father has passed away.

titchy · 05/04/2025 11:07

And actually, any fool knew the markets were going to crash. Even my 20-something ds cashed out his stocks and shares ISA before Trump tariffed everyone.

BlueMum16 · 05/04/2025 11:06

Why don't you ask your DH to explain things in simple terms?

You haven't lost anything until you come to cash in.

When he says 25% down what does he mean? Down on last week or down on what he invested?

You either trust him and learn or you don't trust him and need to learn yourself so you can take advice .

Stop panicking and ask some questions and listen.

Stagshear · 05/04/2025 11:05

The shares will recover. But I think you have heavily misused your power of attorney here. You are supposed to manage your parents estate in the way that they would be happy with but lacked capacity to do.

If I found out my sibling had gone against known wishes of my parents in order to invest funds in their preferred way I’d be livid. Whether you understand the ins and outs of finances is irrelevant- you knew this was something you’d parents would have been deeply against.

titchy · 05/04/2025 11:04

Actually I’m not with the dh at all. The OP’s father is elderly. He is absolutely NOT a suitable client to have everything in high risk. The older you get, the less risk your funds should be.

Right now though, you are where you are. And you will have to ride this out, and, bluntly, hope his assets don’t need to be cashed in soon.

But take this as a sign NOT to trust your dh. You need to either get to grips with his financial affairs yourself, or pay someone. Your dh doesn’t have a clue. And young hold PoA not your dh. This would make me reconsider my marriage if I’m honest.

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 05/04/2025 11:04

In a similar position, probate only came through on Wednesday and lost a fair amount too 😒

If you don't need the money immediately, then you could hang tight and see if the market recovers....

PinedApple · 05/04/2025 11:02

Agreed. It might help if you get a better understanding of it all so you’re not having to rely on DH to explain. Everything is down now but that’s the nature of markets, it will eventually go back up. It’s only if you needed to pull out all the cash now that would be unfortunate but leave it where it is and it will recover.

19lottie82 · 05/04/2025 10:59

low risk doesn’t mean no risk and almost everything has gone down unfortunately, even my physical collection of gold and silver that I was convinced would be safe.

Try not to panic, stocks and shares should always be viewed as a long term investment.

I’m with your DH on this one I’m afraid. just sit tight. Panicking won’t help. It should go back up eventually once things calm down.