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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be tired of living next to other people?

160 replies

GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 09:11

Is anyone else tired of having neighbours? Has anyone else moved to somewhere more remote as a result?

My neighbours aren’t nearly as bad as some that I’ve had but they’re still grating on me. I don’t like kids and I’m tired of all the noise and accoutrements that come with them. Every week it feels like there’s another giant play item blocking my view and they also put it closest to my fence though there’s one side that has no one next to it.

I’m tired of screaming children. Why do children all seem to scream unnecessarily now and why does no one tell them to stop it?

Neighbour’s teenage kids shouting, laughing and talking at full volume coming home at 3am.

I’m tired of people’s motorbikes, garden parties and just noise in almost every form.

I wouldn’t mind having neighbours who are around, say 100 yards from me but not much closer.

Has anyone else moved more rurally/remote and was it worth it?

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 10:37

notprincehamlet · 05/04/2025 10:35

You can't outrun dickish people, they're everywhere <sigh>.
And rural living comes with smells as well as noise.
Are lighthouse keepers still a thing??

I’m used to the smells as I live opposite a farm. It’s very unpleasant at times but it doesn’t really affect my quality of life unlike the noise.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 10:36

springtimemagic · 05/04/2025 10:34

I totally agree. We live somewhere really quiet now - couldn’t take that.

Serious question - do you have noise/sensory sensitivity? Autistic?

Show quote history

I am diagnosed autistic, yes.

OP posts:
notprincehamlet · 05/04/2025 10:35

You can't outrun dickish people, they're everywhere <sigh>.
And rural living comes with smells as well as noise.
Are lighthouse keepers still a thing??

springtimemagic · 05/04/2025 10:34

GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 09:11

Is anyone else tired of having neighbours? Has anyone else moved to somewhere more remote as a result?

My neighbours aren’t nearly as bad as some that I’ve had but they’re still grating on me. I don’t like kids and I’m tired of all the noise and accoutrements that come with them. Every week it feels like there’s another giant play item blocking my view and they also put it closest to my fence though there’s one side that has no one next to it.

I’m tired of screaming children. Why do children all seem to scream unnecessarily now and why does no one tell them to stop it?

Neighbour’s teenage kids shouting, laughing and talking at full volume coming home at 3am.

I’m tired of people’s motorbikes, garden parties and just noise in almost every form.

I wouldn’t mind having neighbours who are around, say 100 yards from me but not much closer.

Has anyone else moved more rurally/remote and was it worth it?

TIA

I totally agree. We live somewhere really quiet now - couldn’t take that.

Serious question - do you have noise/sensory sensitivity? Autistic?

NancyJoan · 05/04/2025 10:33

Living cheek by jowl w lots of people is noisy, and families with children will have toys and play equipment as well as noise.

If people noise/family living bothers you this much, the only solution is to move to somewhere quieter. Either somewhere remote, or at least somewhere detached, with double glazing. I love the buzz of city living, and hated growing up in the middle of a field, but I appreciate we are not all the same.

PhatGurlSlim · 05/04/2025 10:32

I am semi detached. I always get paranoid that the neighbours on the detached wall can hear me. I have a counselling session each week and worry that they can hear me talking. My counsellor assures me that the probably can't, but I still wonder.

PinkCatInATree · 05/04/2025 10:31

No neighbours at all and LOVE it - also love it when nearest neighbours call in on bikes / horses / foot / with dogs for a coffee or a chat but then go away again. We have a village WhatsApp group if anything were to happen and I needed someone I know they would help.

Absolutely no downsides to being rural and remote (as a fit and solvent person in my 50s)

MikeRafone · 05/04/2025 10:24

This makes me realise how lucky I must be, I live between 2 schools so at 8.30 and 3pm its busy, but my neighbours aren't a problem and its peaceful

pearbottomjeans · 05/04/2025 10:21

Loads of people move for this reason. Surely the main draw of detached houses, otherwise what's the point of them? Why would you keep yourself somewhere you don't like?

GaspingGekko · 05/04/2025 10:20

We used to live on the edge of a village. Not rural - so no tractors or farms - but spread out houses (in a protected wood so no possibility of more houses being built). We had an elderly couple who lived maybe 100m away, then the next nearest house was maybe half a mile.

I feel the same as you, I hated living in flats becauseof the noise, and even just a shared wall in houses is too much for me. So I personally loved the isolation.

Notgoodatpoetrybutgreatatlit · 05/04/2025 10:10

We bought this property because we have a private sports field on 3 sides and the street is one way access road and we are set back from it.
Just in zone 3 in London. It's so quiet that the cats are startled by letters dropping through the front door. We are happy. My aunt lives in a tiny village in the countryside 7 miles from the nearest town and she has two sets of problem neighbours who are noisy and drive her mad. It's people who are the problem.

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 05/04/2025 10:09

We did. It’s fucking amazing. Our nearest neighbour is 2.4 miles away.

Flutterbyby · 05/04/2025 09:58

Thirteenblackcat · 05/04/2025 09:24

YABU to expect families with children to stop living their lives.

Please point out where anyone expects that

Enigma53 · 05/04/2025 09:55

I can’t stand noise. When my kids were young and had friends to play, I tolerated it. Now, aged 53, in menopause, I just love the peace and listening to the birdsong.

YANBU.

SunnieShine · 05/04/2025 09:49

Katemax82 · 05/04/2025 09:16

We moved to a detached bungalow, now we get large lorries and tractors thundering down our road

I would prefer that to people noise.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 05/04/2025 09:49

I find new builds have noticeably more noise than traditional construction too.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 05/04/2025 09:48

We have no immediate neighbours - nearest is around 1/4 mile, it’s bliss.

Ihavepandassurvivalinstinct · 05/04/2025 09:47

RedHelenB · 05/04/2025 09:38

I'm not so sure it has. I remember lots of noises from my childhood.

Show quote history

There are numerous articles on it including academic one. It's been affecting people as well as wildlife.

It's even small things like less soft furnishing, less trees in some areas etc which are making it worse.

Shitty built quality with no sound insulation in general in UK is also not helping.

ThewrathofBethDutton · 05/04/2025 09:45

I use public transport a lot and often feel desperately desperately sorry for the neighbours of about 40% of fellow passengers because they are SO loud, speaker phone conversations at full volume, awful awful music at full volume, iPads with awful kids programmes at full volume.
What on earth must it be like living near these selfish, inconsiderate, self absorbed morons?

Torture I imagine.

RedHelenB · 05/04/2025 09:38

Ihavepandassurvivalinstinct · 05/04/2025 09:18

Btw more people moan about the noise because the world has actually got noisier (and less colourful)

I'm not so sure it has. I remember lots of noises from my childhood.

mondaytosunday · 05/04/2025 09:34

Not unreasonable at all. We all have different preferences. Mine is that I enjoy living in a terrace and the kids next door are a welcome noise, and I couldn’t bear living in a remote location!
Hope you find your perfect home!

Original poster
GrumpyNeighbourAgain · 05/04/2025 09:29

Thirteenblackcat · 05/04/2025 09:24

YABU to expect families with children to stop living their lives.

Who said that I did? I’m the one who wants to move. Though I don’t think that asking people to have some consideration for their neighbours e.g not literally scream their heads off is too much to ask.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 05/04/2025 09:25

Yes, move, the peace will do you good.

I would assume rural areas has issues to but it would be peaceful for you.

I personally love the living in a lively place. Other than than my direct nosey neighbour, I think she stalks me. complaining about my bird feeder crumbs, any minor inconvenience.

I wish she would move to the countryside.

I am a deep sleeper, plus my neighbour don't allow teenagers racket unless it is a special birthday.

Stumbleine · 05/04/2025 09:24

Yes me. Was thoroughly fed up of the politics of boundary sharing, cars, antisocial noise at the weekend etc

Moved to the countryside down a lane away from the road with our nearest neighbour a field away. Absolute bliss

Thirteenblackcat · 05/04/2025 09:24

YABU to expect families with children to stop living their lives.