AIBU to be tired of living next to other people?

If I did not have kids myself, I could say the same as you typed it, even knowing how horrible your post may sound to someone. But as one child suddenly developped PDA - lol

The best for you is to move to a inner city, the last floor of a high rise. There is usually some road noise but it's all hum. You rarely hear kids because most families would want houses with gardens

I am equally mystified that so many parents these days seem to think repeated, ongoing screaming is acceptable. We had neighbours in a garden that backed onto ours for a few years who had three kids, and during COVID lockdowns the kids were often in the garden from early morning until late evening, shrieking and screaming almost non-stop. The parents weren’t even unaware of it, because on the one occasion I met the mother, the first thing she did was say ‘sorry about the noise’. But I never ONCE heard the parents ask the kids to keep it down in the garden. I don’t expect kids to be quiet all the time, but suggesting they be mindful of other people for at least a chunk of the day is basic human decency. And all the screaming and shrieking is totally unnecessary, kids can have plenty of fun without it! Our neighbourhood had ~20 gardens that all backed onto the same patch, and if a couple of households were out, it was a lovely place to be. If the family with the shrieking kids or the person who thought we all wanted to hear their loud music were in, we didn’t want to be outside. There were other families whose kids were fine.

No. I don't feel like that at all. I love living slap bang in the middle of the city centre of a busy city. Lots of stuff to do, noise too, but I feel like I'm living, not languishing forgotten in some remote farm, miles from everywhere, everything and everyone.

But tbh, my neighbours are decent people. I can hear normal everyday noises and they both have dogs who bark from time to time, but nothing excessive. Doesn't bother me at all. But if my neighbours would be partying nightmares - that's another story.

AND nature leaves me cold and bores me to tears, I'd rather do ironing or toilet scrubbing, then go on a 'countryside walk'. I love cities. And only move to the countryside (MAYBE) when I'm like 80.

Noise cancelling headphones or loop earplugs are your friend. You can’t change your neighbours but you can manage how much you hear them. My DH is very noise sensitive and lives in his

We lived in various houses with neighbours, can't stand it. One lot had two kids with a record player and only three records which they played over and over through wafer thin walls.. To this day 'Sugar Sugar' still gives me the shudders.
two houses later we are in an old detached cottage up a farm track with one neighbour, who is quiet. Absolute bliss. I would rather live in a detached shed than in an attached house, or in a street.
if you can find something, go for it.

It really isn't. But is a mothers website really the best place to post this?!

People have become louder. I've lived happily in terraces before and I never heard my neighbours or they I and we all got on with living our lives. We weren't creeping around.

The house before this broke my health because of noisy neighbours. Even living in an apartment building with much more neighbours was quieter. All I wanted was to be able to open the french doors and not hear someone's else's music at full volume.

I moved and I'm now detached on a very quiet street. I'm semi rural but with amenities and close to a big city. It's bliss.

We live rurally after moving out from a city. We've just sat in our garden this morning listening to the wind rustling the trees and the birds singing and it's glorious. We do have neighbours, but very spaced out, and there's a fantastic community here. Everyone knows everyone else's business though, much more than we found when we lived in a city. I love it, but it wouldn't be for everyone.

I’d love to do that. NDN one side has wired speakers in his garden so whenever it’s a nice day, I have to listen to his music. I generally wear earbuds when I’m pottering outside, listening to a podcast or an audiobook book and I can still hear it. I’ve spoken to him and he’s a selfish twat, he told me it’s his business what he does in his garden. Our houses are detached, gardens quite big, but thanks to his speakers, the music is all around the garden. We built a little pagoda in the bottom corner of the garden, furthest point from him a few years ago, installed a garden swing, a little bubbling rock water thing, under a mature tree, lovely and private and as quiet as it gets. Then last year the house at the back of us changed hands. The new owners have cut down all the trees their side and installed a garden room where the kids play drums and a trampoline. Yay. Their toddler shouts and screams constantly. Absolutely no peace outside now. I keep thinking their youngest will grow out of it, but I’ve had two boys and I don’t remember an ‘outside screaming at all hours’ phase. But completely rural houses are not in budget and you don’t know if you’re moving from being next to one noisy twat to another.

I’ve put an offer in on a rural property for these reasons OP I am so fed up of the neighbours kids screaming. They are directly behind me. It’s not the joyous play noise that kids make, I love that, it’s actual screaming. I have leant out my window and bellowed at them on occasion. I’m on the move.

We moved out of a semi on cul-de-sac full of kids. The noise started at 7am and there were still footballs bouncing of my windows at 11pm.

Now live in a detached house on a country lane. Saved my sanity and possibly my marriage.

I like where I live but the totally unnecessary noise makes it really rage inducing at times. It's the motorbike idiot who accelerates really fast early in the morning, the inconsiderate twat up the road with his noisy exhaust on his car that ruins the peace at 2am and wakes me (and probably other residents too) as he accelerates past my house.

The small breed dog being walked that yaps non stop around 7.30am at goodness knows what, that's annoying if you are still asleep also.

The M27 is nearby and this week, the screaming of cars and motorbikes has been unreal. Even double glazing doesn't block it out enough.

Saying that, I can hear the late night train in the distance slowly passing through out of the town, I love hearing it, it sounds so soothing, we have a helicopter repair facility a mile or so away and I love seeing and hearing the Chinooks, I don't mind the small aircraft and helicopters that go over either.

I don't have immediate noisy neighbours, they're all nice, no kids or endlessly barking dogs so it's not all bad. 😃

It's not even the spaces. It's the low quality build which is sadlyntoo common. I lived in numerous places, various houses and flats and it is ONLY in UK where I heard neighbours toilet noises and such. And no. Not just in one property

Completely with you! I couldn’t cope living very close to anyone, especially if they had kids. We are lucky enough to live in a small village. We have neighbours but they aren’t too close so are able to exist without seeing each other for days/ weeks. Bliss!

Trouble is that neighbours move, so you may have elderly/quiet neighbours at first but then after a few years you could have big noisy families each side.

We're the opposite. When we moved in we had big noisy families on all three sides and it was a nightmare, with constant screeching throughout the day when the kids were playing out, kids hanging over the fence watching us, trampolene right next to our fence, footballs constantly kicked against one fence or another, etc. The families have grown up and the children moved away and now it's blissfully quiet - except when the kids come back for a weekend and bring their own children, who are likewise loud and annoying, but at least it's only occasional.

You really can't pick a home based on current neighbours! They change!

I didn’t say that no. I’m assuming these are adult teenagers (18and19) so not children.

I was referring to the children’s activities OP is complaining about

you can’t expect no family noise at all if you live in a neighbourhood

(edited for typo)

We also moved to a detached bungalow, we had a semi before where our neighbour smoked constantly outside her back door so all the way through April to October it came through our back door or open window. She was a total weirdo as well who used to angel her blinds downwards so she could watch us in the garden without being seen.

We’re now in a detached bungalow with elderly deaf neighbours who are loud, whistling, calling over the fence to chat type people. Lovely friendly people but they grate on me like mad.

I too dream of living somewhere far away from others; or just dream of having neighbours who are silent. Luckily I think our current neighbours will really quieten down within 5 years due to age but part of me then starts thinking about who will move in after them!! Thw thing is I know it is me, and my problem, I am intolerant, and sometimes when I tell myself it’s me, it does help a little bit!

My kids are grown up. This person sounds like people breathing annoys them!!

Totally sympathise and I get worse as I get older (I will be 60 in a couple of weeks). Our back garden in good weather is pretty much unusable due to all the factors you mention. The worst by a million miles though are these bloody modded-up car exhausts which explode, pop, bang, whistle etc. Every weekend as soon as the good weather starts, it's endless. They drive round and round and round on a loop without giving a damn about anyone else's quality of life. The police and council, of course, aren't interested. It's much easier to slap spy cameras up everywhere and rake in £££££s from someone going 5mph over the speed limit or parking somewhere for a few minutes more than they should. I was brought up in a village and we are in full agreement that we will be going rural as soon as DP retires and the finances are there. I would far rather listen to the sounds of my childhood, church bells, bird scarers, shooting parties, combines, tractors and get a lungful of pig pooh fumes than put up with all this suburban bollocks. I wish you well in your quest for peace.

Methinks @Richiewoo has a gaggle of screeching children 😉

So it’s ok for kids to scream and be noisy until 3am?

Yep and yep. We lived in a maisonette with two next door neighbours either side and one underneath on a newish housing estate in a very large, busy town. Sold up and moved to the countryside....... in another country. We are half way down a 10km track. We see the odd tractor and car go past, it's bliss.

We did it OP. Our neighbours weren't bad in the grand scheme of things but we were sick of being surrounded by other people, screeching children, lawnmowers, leafblowers etc.

We moved to a remote area overlooking the sea. Nearest neighbour about 150 yards away, single woman in her 60s, never hear a peep out of her. Beautiful day here today and the only thing I can hear apart from the birds is the faint sound of a boat.

If you can do it OP, go for it.