AIBU to be tired of living next to other people?

Yes of course you are not being unreasonable. I would hate a remote rural setting though. I enjoy people, like my neighbours, take pleasure in a lively place. Horses for courses.

I hate our neighbour. We are fortunate enough to live in detached houses with large gardens. But our neighbour has taken it on himself to be the dictatorial patriarch of the street. When my gardeners come he leans over the fence and tells them what he wants them to prune in my garden. Once he told them to take out a tree he decided he did not like. In my garden. Then he rang me up and screamed abuse at me down the phone because the wind was blowing leaves from my garden into his.

After 3 years of this and when he was again telling my gardeners to prune a rose bush of mine because he did not like it being so close to his fence ( i measured it - it's not quite 2 metres away) i told him in no uncertain terms that he did not get to control me or my garden and he could stick to his side of the fence. He did not like that at all and since then a couple of times a week shoves notes through my letterbox telling me what an awful person i am and how he has discussed me with all the other neighbours and they all agree I am terrible. The latest one he said that my 'defiance' of his wishes had sent him into a depression and he has had to get counselling.

In other words- he's fucking nuts.

I'm like you, OP. I grew up with a mum who had very bad anxiety issues/meltdowns that were easily set off by sounds outside - kids yelling in gardens, power tools, that kind of stuff. As a young kid I just saw it as 'mum being weird', but I've turned out exactly the same. As an adult, sharp or loud sounds outside make me unable to relax in my own space, and long periods of something like a dog barking or neighbourhood music playing makes me feel quite frazzled and irritable. Not sure if it's something I've learned from my mum despite trying not to, or if there's something more innate about how both our brains work.

It's difficult to explain to others as they think you're being a whinging dick who wants to ruin others' fun. I don't, and I'm well aware the problem is with me, not people just living their lives... but I do dream of living without close neighbours.

People who bang out loud music all day, every day, or make unnecessary noise at unreasonable times of the night are outside of this and are inconsiderate.

No. Not unreasonable.

Trouble is, you may move and have perfect neighbours but one could move, as in your current case, and the new one be loud and intrusive.

@HagsRuleI am so sorry this one neighbour has ruined the joy and peace of where you live, for all of you. It sounds as if he’s running a business and I guess some detective work could confirm that, He clearly hasn’t got a licence. I don’t know how anyone has the gall to move somewhere quiet and peaceful and set up a noisy business

If you put the house up for sale - would anyone looking for this sort of property want to buy it? They’d be wanting a peaceful hamlet

Live in rural Ireland, in the middle of a field. Next field is the MIL - wanker neighbor completely out of sight (not MIL) . The peace is deafening and we love it. We live on 3/4 of an acre and no one overlooks us. Its bliss.

I’ve posted a couple of times on this thread already but just fancied adding a bit more in - our elderly neighbours at late 70s, the man is nearly 80. Since we moved in which was 4 years ago this summer I have been secretly wishing his age to start catching up on him, as awful as it sounds. The second the sun comes out he’s got the radio on in the garden, he seems to be forever out the front when we arrive or leave the house so we have to talk to him, he used to talk to us over the fence but we managed to stop that by ignoring him, and he has the power tools out regularly making a lot of noise.
Whats funny is we are the family with young kids, but we are quieter!!!
I hate to be like this but I know when he slows down with old age I will enjoy my house more as a result. So I can’t help but look forward to that day.

I hate some neighbours. On one side there are two dogs that won't shut up. On the other there are two girls who shriek when they are playing. They sound like crabs being boiled.

We never even hear our other neighbours.

I think most people feel like this when the weather gets better lol, I don’t like the sound of other people either but then my family tend to drown out the noise with our own

I’m in a detached property but with neighbours very close by ( we share fences ) and young children either side .
I like the sound of them playing and the little one on one side chatting away to his mum , dad or grandparents .
However I do agree about screaming, talk at a normal volume for goodness sake it’s not difficult !
I was convinced one day that one of them over the back had an accident because they were screaming 😱 they were actually fine as I asked if they were ok .
The child is about 4 and I know they aren’t SEN so why !!!!

I live in the hills and was brought up in the city. I could not move back to that life again! Only noise we get is the sheep in the fields and the birds, it’s lovely in spring time to see the baby lambs and bunnies. Only 2 downsides one is the weather, if it snows I’m stuck for at least a week, when it rains it pours, wind is ridiculous, bloody cold in winter but the sunshine is bliss 😊. The other is no pub for 3 miles and no takeaway deliveries. I do miss being close to my friends and family but I wouldn’t change it, my partner is from a farm life hates city noise etc. I’d move if that’s what you want to do it is worth it.

@Thirteenblackcat sorry - I meant ot reply to the OP too, not sure how I managed to quote in error :(

Hey

We live pretty remote in an old farm workers cottage, we have two neighbours one is a middle aged couple who are always away, and the other is rented to two mid-20 lads who are always away. It’s lovely so quiet (we are the noisy ones) not overlooked at all. I couldn’t move to somewhere more built up, we did look a while back but I just felt a bit trapped. We are disturbed by the neighbours occasionally usually a party or something so maybe two/three times a year, there is always one night mid summer where the farmer combines all night which is a bit noisy but it’s the price you pay for everything else.

Sympathies @GrumpyNeighbourAgain it's horrible when noise affects your day to day life.

We actually live semi-rural in a semi-detached converted out building that belonged to part of a farm. It was bliss at the beginning, all our surrounding neighbours were nice, still are nice, but unfortunately the old farmer and his family (wife and grown up son) moved out of the main farmhouse with the adjacent access yard and the new neighbours that have moved in are trying to run a mechanic business. Everyone has complained to no avail. It's affecting all of us. The owner doesn't care, effs and blinds when confronted. Says all the vans and cars and trucks belong to him so it's personal cleaning/valeting. Which is a big fat lie as we never see the vans again once they are fixed or cleaned. Generators going, power washes, circular saws, the works. It's amazing how a peaceful, field facing, rural setting can be ruined by one selfish arsehole.

We are trying to save up money to move somewhere even more rural but feel sad as until they moved in it was such a lovely little community of 6 houses. Never heard each other as it's the old farm walls, but friendly enough to take in parcels, look after cats, help with bin collections, let visitors park in each others drives if they needed to when not enough space on the farm road. Now hardly anyone goes outside and if we do and there's a risk he's out there glaring at us and starting his circular saw or his van cleaning again. I think the next option will be a noise complaint but don't know what difference really it will make. If we do move I will miss our other neighbours.

I moved from the home counties to a wee cottage by the sea. Yes, of course it has noise, i can hear the waves, sheep, cows, pheasants, foxes and some traffic in the far distance. Only noisy part is walkers that have to shout to each other, god knows why the can't just talk.

I was brought up on a farm and lived in a rural area until I left home at 20 to work in a large city.
I now live in a large town near a city and couldn't imagine moving back to the countryside. Growing up, I found rural life too quiet and boring, it was grim in the winter whereas urban living is way more interesting and there's always something to do.
But I do understand the noisy neighbours issue though, particularly this time of the year when kids are out playing etc. I don't mind kids playing and making a reasonable amount of noise but the constant screeching and high pitched screaming is too much for me. These days I take a radio outside and use earphones, this has worked for me.

Giving birth does not automatically disconnect the part of the brain that deals with social norms, consideration and how to live alongside other people.

We moved from the South of England to the middle of nowhere in Wales, with our nearest neighbour being 1/2 mile away. It's WONDERFUL!

I was a kid/teen in the 90's & 00's and we defo played/ screamed & talked loud. We were all kids once.

If it's bothering you alot, your only option is to move.

The world is noisy and I hate the constant sounds of traffic, especially the stupid souped up cars and the arseholes who ride round in a motorbike with balaclavas on going through red lights and so much other illegal driving.

Have just recently moved and the Cul de sac we were in was perfect, all considerate. We all had young kids and they were friends so was fantastic. All.of our kids made noise in the garden and would shout over to each other but we knew it wasn't going to be late or intrusive to those wfh.

Now, no idea who my neighbours are so always shhh xx

As someone with a Jamaican father, I can confirm my Aunties were like this 😂 (they’ve passed away now).

Jamaican women are not to be trifled with 🤣

I don’t mind having neighbours, I was talking to OP