My feminism has made me bitter

I really do genuinely believe that. It’s my belief that’s why modern marriages fail, as the woman constantly has to ask the man to do housework because woman have higher standards around the home. Woman naturally prefer a cleaner, more organised home so if a woman works she always has to ‘nag’ the man to do more.

I’ve seen this a lot!
it’s very freeing when you accept that women are better and home and family based activities and men are more fit to work.
it all gets harder when you blur these boundaries and start bickering about ‘who does what’

Let's not feed the t...hread derailer.

We can all make stuff up for a reaction, but would be better to do it on other threads.

Please do expand?

I really do genuinely believe that. It’s my belief that’s why modern marriages fail, as the woman constantly has to ask the man to do housework because woman have higher standards around the home. Woman naturally prefer a cleaner, more organised home so if a woman works she always has to ‘nag’ the man to do more.

I feel very angry about the situation that women face worldwide — and here in the UK, where we claim to be a “developed” and “progressive” nation, yet women continue to suffer under the weight of misogyny in both insidious and overt ways.

If my DH and I split, I would never be with another man. DH tries to understand but he never will truly. You can't, unless you have experienced girl and womanhood within the patriarchy.

The comments of certain PP are exactly why I am extremely selective about my friendships with other women. I simply cannot — will not — associate with those who think feminism equals misogyny. That kind of thinking doesn’t just lack understanding; it contributes to the ongoing harm against women.

We’re told that women have “won” now, that there’s no need for feminism anymore. But feminism is the reason I can vote, hold a job, get an education, have a bank account, or own property. It’s the reason I have any rights at all. And yet we’re told to stop complaining? To be “grateful”?

While women are still dying?
There is a violence epidemic against women. In the UK, a woman is killed by a man every three days. Two women a week are murdered by a current or former partner. This is not rare, not random, and certainly not “just a few bad apples.” It is systemic.

Women are harassed, stalked, assaulted, and murdered — often by men they knew and once trusted. And that doesn’t even touch on the countless women who live under coercive control, with 1.6 million women experiencing domestic abuse in a single year.

Sexual violence is rampant. One in four women are sexually assaulted or raped — and experts say this is a conservative estimate. Rape convictions sit around 1%. Why? Because women lie all the time? No. Because the system is built — rigged — to protect men.

And the lie that gets recycled again and again is that men are the real victims — citing suicide, false accusations, war, and so on.

Let’s break that down.
Yes, more men die by suicide, but women attempt it just as often — sometimes more, depending on the age group.
The difference is that men choose more violent methods, which is itself a reflection of broader male violence patterns. So mental health-wise, we are all suffering. But somehow, only one narrative gets prioritised.

Also men are 230 times more likely to be raped by another man than to be falsely accused by a woman — but it’s our integrity that’s constantly questioned.
Meanwhile, 97% of women aged 18–24 in the UK have experienced sexual harassment, and yet less than 4% reported it. And even within our justice system, women are unsafe — over 1,500 police officers were accused of violence against women and girls between 2017–2020, and only 8% faced any kind of disciplinary action.

Sarah Everard’s murder by a serving officer should have been a turning point. It wasn’t.
We are told to “go into the trades” or “join the military” to prove equality — as though the only barrier is our willingness. There would be more women in those fields if the misogyny and sexual assault weren’t so rampant. Women don’t just fear “the enemy” — they fear every man they come into contact with.

Let’s also talk about the economic side of this. Women still earn 85p for every £1 a man earns in the UK. Women of colour earn even less. Mothers are penalised severely in the workplace — the so-called “motherhood penalty” can cut a woman’s lifetime earnings by up to £100,000. And women are still overrepresented in low-paid, insecure, and unpaid caregiving roles.

Even our bodies are ignored. Women’s medical issues are under-researched, under-diagnosed, and routinely dismissed. It takes 7 to 10 years to be diagnosed with endometriosis. ADHD and autism are often missed entirely in women because the research was done almost exclusively on men.

So yes, I am angry. I am exhausted. And I am done entertaining this backlash against feminism as if it's coming from a place of logic or compassion.

Men are scared women will laugh at them.
Women are scared men will rape and kill them.

Anti-feminism is not a difference of opinion — it’s complicity in violence. We have come so far because of feminism. And we still have so, so far to go.

At least I think it has. I’m late 30s and grew up in a very traditional home, my dad was in charge generally, mum stayed at home. It wasn’t until I was in my earlier thirties that I really woke up to the misogyny in the world.

My anger towards the patriarchy really took hold when I had my first dc. I was absolutely horrified by some things that went on at work, the way I had to fight with CMS when DD’s dad decided he didn’t want to be a parent anymore.

I am in a new relationship and I am happy but I now see very minor entitled behaviours in every man I come across, even those who would be considered ‘allies.’ My dad is a lovely man but I notice more how the dynamic with my mum was trenched in that patriarchal system.

Now my eyes are open I see it everywhere and honestly it makes me bitter. Not sure why I’m posting really, just wondered if anyone else felt this way.

I feel very angry about the situation that women face worldwide — and here in the UK, where we claim to be a “developed” and “progressive” nation, yet women continue to suffer under the weight of misogyny in both insidious and overt ways.

If my DH and I split, I would never be with another man. DH tries to understand but he never will truly. You can't, unless you have experienced girl and womanhood within the patriarchy.

The comments of certain PP are exactly why I am extremely selective about my friendships with other women. I simply cannot — will not — associate with those who think feminism equals misogyny. That kind of thinking doesn’t just lack understanding; it contributes to the ongoing harm against women.

We’re told that women have “won” now, that there’s no need for feminism anymore. But feminism is the reason I can vote, hold a job, get an education, have a bank account, or own property. It’s the reason I have any rights at all. And yet we’re told to stop complaining? To be “grateful”?

While women are still dying?
There is a violence epidemic against women. In the UK, a woman is killed by a man every three days. Two women a week are murdered by a current or former partner. This is not rare, not random, and certainly not “just a few bad apples.” It is systemic.

Women are harassed, stalked, assaulted, and murdered — often by men they knew and once trusted. And that doesn’t even touch on the countless women who live under coercive control, with 1.6 million women experiencing domestic abuse in a single year.

Sexual violence is rampant. One in four women are sexually assaulted or raped — and experts say this is a conservative estimate. Rape convictions sit around 1%. Why? Because women lie all the time? No. Because the system is built — rigged — to protect men.

And the lie that gets recycled again and again is that men are the real victims — citing suicide, false accusations, war, and so on.

Let’s break that down.
Yes, more men die by suicide, but women attempt it just as often — sometimes more, depending on the age group.
The difference is that men choose more violent methods, which is itself a reflection of broader male violence patterns. So mental health-wise, we are all suffering. But somehow, only one narrative gets prioritised.

Also men are 230 times more likely to be raped by another man than to be falsely accused by a woman — but it’s our integrity that’s constantly questioned.
Meanwhile, 97% of women aged 18–24 in the UK have experienced sexual harassment, and yet less than 4% reported it. And even within our justice system, women are unsafe — over 1,500 police officers were accused of violence against women and girls between 2017–2020, and only 8% faced any kind of disciplinary action.

Sarah Everard’s murder by a serving officer should have been a turning point. It wasn’t.
We are told to “go into the trades” or “join the military” to prove equality — as though the only barrier is our willingness. There would be more women in those fields if the misogyny and sexual assault weren’t so rampant. Women don’t just fear “the enemy” — they fear every man they come into contact with.

Let’s also talk about the economic side of this. Women still earn 85p for every £1 a man earns in the UK. Women of colour earn even less. Mothers are penalised severely in the workplace — the so-called “motherhood penalty” can cut a woman’s lifetime earnings by up to £100,000. And women are still overrepresented in low-paid, insecure, and unpaid caregiving roles.

Even our bodies are ignored. Women’s medical issues are under-researched, under-diagnosed, and routinely dismissed. It takes 7 to 10 years to be diagnosed with endometriosis. ADHD and autism are often missed entirely in women because the research was done almost exclusively on men.

So yes, I am angry. I am exhausted. And I am done entertaining this backlash against feminism as if it's coming from a place of logic or compassion.

Men are scared women will laugh at them.
Women are scared men will rape and kill them.

Anti-feminism is not a difference of opinion — it’s complicity in violence. We have come so far because of feminism. And we still have so, so far to go.

Biggest load of bollox I ever heard

I really do genuinely believe that. It’s my belief that’s why modern marriages fail, as the woman constantly has to ask the man to do housework because woman have higher standards around the home. Woman naturally prefer a cleaner, more organised home so if a woman works she always has to ‘nag’ the man to do more.

It really is everywhere. Men expecting to be given way on the pavement, in supermarket aisles, on the roads, in the car park, at work.

I try to be aware and stand my ground, but I often just move so I can get to where I’m going, which the men take as their rightful due.

And then at home they have to be pushed to do their share.

It's more complex than that. Girls are often brought up to do chores and help around the house. Women are often lumbered with the housework as there's no one else to do it and it's a societal expectation that women will do it.

Ahh don’t worry there’s always anomalies to the general way people are. I totally accept that some people the opposite way round, but generally it is the woman that is naturally tidier!

We have a fantastic income protection, critical illness and life insurance package for DH so that’s the first part answered.
Yes it would be rough if he suddenly decided to leave but we are married so I do have some protection.
returning to the job market would be rough for me, I only ever earned minimum wage and quit my job when I married in order to be a homemaker. But I’m still not willing to sacrifice any real life to be in work and quite honestly my marriage would be much more likely to break down if I was in work anyway!

It is not about working all through your children's life just because of the fear that your DH might leave you. Things happen. People die. Anybody's spouse can leave at any time and then you are a single parent. The working spouse can become ill, disabled, unable to work. It is a risky way to live. Fine if you are happy with managing everything on your own if he leaves. It is quite a shock if you have not worked for many years and have little work experience. The job market is tough out there.

How much protection do you think you get when you are married? It is financial devastation for the 'tradwife' when the husband leaves. If the woman has a career and her own independent finances then she has much more protection for herself and her children.

Ah I’m so sorry for your friend that is an awful situation.
I just personally don’t want to work all through my children’s life just because of fear my DH will leave me. We are married so I would be protected and then of course I would have to work then but I wouldn’t so for all my life ‘just in case’

I am retired now so can’t comment on the average workplace, but your experience everywhere else you mention is not mine at all. If anything, I find men generally move out of the way for me and are courteous (and it’s not because I am either ancient or a great beauty). And as an aside, I have noticed that it’s more often women than men who don’t thank me for letting them in to a line of traffic.