DP’s messages in group chat - do I confront him?

The not handing the phone over immediately would concern me too. I agree with everything you've posted and the way you've worded it without being horrid to the OP.

If it was me I'd be on edge wondering whst else was on there, while not wanting to blow my life up with no other proof.

Its so easy to type a post here advising, harder when it's your whole life and big plans.

Good luck OP, I hope he does come good if you get over this and get married.

The thing is though, no one has addressed why he refused to allow her to look at his phone. Bearing in mind the seriousness of the argument, and he STILL doesn't let her look at his phone? That's a man who's got shit to hide.

No point him offering it to her now though, he'll have deleted whatever he was hiding.

I'd probably have accepted the apology for the comments even though it would take a while for me to forget. But I'd be extremely concerned about the outright refusal to hand over his phone - and I also wouldn't be dismissing the friend's partner's comments about his "skeletons". It sounds as if there's a lot more than hasn't come out - maybe just more dickhead lad "banter", maybe more.

I think OP is being naive drawing a line under this without proper answers, but I get that it's difficult to blow up your life. Easier to stick your fingers in your ears and pretend all is OK, unless you're forced to confront it. Hopefully whatever he was hiding isn't significant, and doesn't continue. Best of luck OP.

I'd not have children with someone that vile. I certainly wouldn't want their grabby hands anywhere near me. Rate yourself.more.highly. There are plenty of people who respect other humans, why burden yourself with this callous dick.

Never encountered her before, but finding her strangely amusing.

Expecting your fiance to not make sexual comments about your sister isn't expecting perfection, it's basic stuff.

If he speaks like that about your friends, imagine what he’s saying about you to his mates. Men like this don’t respect any women including their partner.

Unlikely, considering how often I change mine and you have probably posted more times on this thread alone than I have with this username.

Infantilising and outright insulting OP for deciding to move past this issue with her DH is misogynistic in my opinion.

Sorry, not following the relevance of this anecdote.

He is definitely imperfect and everyone is - you set the bar at what level of imperfection you accept.
OP’s fiancé is not what I would accept and I wouldn’t be won over by a bunch of flowers, chocolates and a pub meal.

And your username is recognisable too dear.

What a grim way to talk about your son

That poster has form for this. Like a dog with a bone once they get onto a relationship thread, replying to anyone whose responses don't quite align with them. Once they have decided what the OP should do, they go on and on and on, making their point ad nauseam as if the repetition will beat the OP and all other posters into agreeing with and immediately ending their relationship.

I think if you've lived to 90 as an Irish Catholic where divorce was off the table and had a mad few months in the middle of it all but spent the rest of your life as a dutiful daughter, mother, grandmother and great grandmother. You'll be forgiven by St Peter.

As for cleavage, women have throughout history shown off their assets. They well know it's attractive to men and don't worry about it.

Incontinent budgie 😂 I think SHE'S the 90 year old woman, she doesn't seem to be understanding much about this thread.

Can’t believe how gullible you lot are 😭

shrilly screeching

Not "bleating"?

How original.

But carry on with the double standards

What double standards?

Has the op been caught out sleazing over her fiance's brother with her mates, saying she hopes they can get an eye full of him at her wedding, and been rating which of their male friends she'd fuck or not?

Has a friend of hers laughed out loud at the depiction of their relationship as a good one and the op as a good partner to her fiance, and mentioned a lot of skeletons in her closet?

This is not a question to you, cause as I said ....maybe focus on the roast.

It's a rhetorical question for any other posters reading the posts on this thread.

But seriously you're asking the other poster about making it the me show?

What irrelevancies have I shared about myself in this thread??

You're clearly having difficulty understanding the concept of the "me show".

It's such a simple concept that I can only conclude that you must have serious difficulty focusing on doing more than one thing at once .. .so maybe just stick to the Sunday roast, eh.

FWIW I think the OPs fiance is a dick.

But seriously you're asking the other poster about making it the me show?🤣

You've posted more on this thread than anyone.

Lovely sunny Sunday afternoons are worth much more than shrilly screeching at posters on an Internet forum.

But carry on with the double standards it's like watching the real housewives of Mumsnet and hugely amusing to watch while cooking the Sunday roast😁

Can't you just go off and write a boring memoir with all these eye-rolling anecdotes that no one cares about, instead of dropping them all over this thread like an incontinent budgie.

You haven't understood a word I've written , have you?

Again, why is this the "me show" for you?

Are you off your meds? Seriously?

But I still think men are the weaker sex

Ah so before it was "imperfect women with imperfect men" - matched because the women are cheaters too.

(Except I've rarely known a cheating man who partnered a cheating woman).

Now, it's that men are the "weaker" sex.

Is that the next excuse for accepting shitty, red flag behaviour from them and plowing on into irreversible commitment?

Imperfect woman then 😊

Is there a reason you're turning this thread into the "me show".

TMI