Young adults are hard work!

Easy dc are well easy... Ime add in undiagnosed issues like ASD, depression likely caused by Long Covid and twat cheating partners and your easy dc can become adults to worry about..

My worries for them are more significant because I guess the stakes are higher - eg. I worry my girls will get spiked on a night out, or my son will break down on a smart motorway. When they were younger it all seemed to be about school friendships, after school club rotas and ear infections!

Life is easier but the worries are bigger.

Is there anything specific worrying you?

I found it hard when they started driving, went to uni, started going to the pub etc but it did get better in time. I rarely worry about the 20 yo now.

My late teens are an absolute breeze. They had their baby days set on hard-as-nails mode and it's only ever got easier.

Not a parent of teens yet so maybe I'll change my mind in future! But I imagine at those ages there's a big shift in the dynamics of your relationship with your children. They are now adults and you move from a parenting role into more of a supportive friendish role which means watching them make and then learn from their own (possibly bigger as they take on more responsibility) mistakes. I imagine that's a really difficult shift to navigate. I know my mother and father still try to parent me the way they did when I was 15 or 16 even though its now 20 years later and to be honest, their inability to manage their own anxiety over my life (a life I'm quite content with and am secure in) can at times really damage the relationship we have because I no longer need to be parented in that way. What I would love is their support and encouragement and their friendship as people but they seem to be very stuck in that parenting teenagers mindset. To be honest, the way you describe yours as old teens young adults makes me wonder if you're seeing yours in a similar way. They are just adults now. I'm sure you never completely start worrying but I guess this is the time where you have to start trusting them and trusting that you raised them to be independent and capable and try to enjoy the bonding as adults aspect of it

Oh no mine were much more interesting and fun as teens. But think I'm just not fond of small children

I think the main things that worry me about my young adult children is them being mugged when they go to London with work so on the tube etc but they know to keep their phone in their zipped pocket and keep their wits about them. We tend to overuse Mad-Eye Moody "Constant Vigilance!" phrase.

Another one is when they are out in our city centre at night with their mates because someone is always looking for a fight. I worry about them being seriously hurt.

I suppose my biggest worry is them getting on the property ladder. That is it really. There are massive positives for us. Ds1 has a great job post uni, Ds2 is at uni just home for holidays. They are savers, money aware, sweet, kind and caring men. Rooms are tidy, they do their own laundry, cook family dinners which they are doing again tonight.

They can be reasoned with and we have great talks, they get all the jokes, are great at banter, share mad internet things with us, do silly drawings on the shopping list and we watch tv shows that we also love as opposed to the shite we had to sit through years ago. I find it so much easier than the frustrating (for them) toddler years. I don't feel as though I am on duty constantly which I used to when they were young. I always looks for the positives.

There are different problems at different ages. Try to find the positives at them all, or you’ll go under!

Agreed!

I was told many many years ago by a random German guy at the side of the pool in a eurocamp… “small children small problems, big children big problems”

He was so lovely came over as my now 18 year old was about 18 months a being a pest!!

I’ve always remembered him and his very wise words. Ans OP please don’t feel shame in finding this age hard, parenting at all ages is very hard and I don’t think anyone would ever do it if we were told the whole truth.

My parents definitely did not worry about me when I was that age

I’m not sure it’s harder as such just different worries. You also have to accept you can’t fix everything and they have to make their own decisions and live their life without you controlling it. Dd is going to Italy tomorrow and even though she went on the ski trip age 15 with school, this feels different because she’s 17 and will have free time in the cities etc. I want her to have an amazing time but I’ll sleep better when she’s home! I also worry her relationship breakup (if it happens) will hit her hard because she’s so in love. But I don’t worry about cot death and choking on grapes at a friend’s house anymore.

Imo, baby/toddler/preschool stages were harder physical work; but teens are harder emotionally. I didn’t believe people, who told me that, when they were toddlers; but I believed them when they got to the teens!

Not me.
I love mine as young adults. So proud of the people they have become.

Soooooooooooo much easier than the baby stage and toddler stage and small child stage.