To think my DP could be a bit more caring

Yeah I agree with this. It's awful. I read a stat about how men are so so so likely to leave a terminally ill woman!

Of the two men I've been pregnant by am vulnerable and needed support from -

I've had a man who when I was dating him and he had a (corrective not vanity) nose job I was messaging him offering to bring food round etc and when I aborted a pregnancy he called he literally ghosted me

My child's father who had had a horrible penis injury the year before (we though he might lose some of it and not be able to have an erection again- luckily he recovered and it worked again but I stuck with him
Through all of it, the hospital, bringing him food every day, not knowing if we'd ever have sex again) and then when I was pregnant with his child he shouted at me when I was tired telling me I was lazy and then walked out when I was 8 months pregnant.

I've also had a man with a horrible

OP my advice is this: if this isn’t a one off and he’s going to continue making you feel unseen and only visible when it suits him then don’t waste years of your life waiting for him to change: people don’t.

if it’s not working for you free up your time gif things and people that do

I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks that you're ill and there won't be any sex so there's no point visiting.

If my dp behaved like that, I would find that uncaring. An hour round trip to visit op isn't a big deal.

He isn't uncaring though....

What is your business? If you have been ill could he not step up and take over rather than taking the time off?
I feel like your personal and professional lives have become muddled - which came first? How long have you been together?
I agree he doesn't really sound that fussed about you.

Why would he want to see you when there's nothing in it for him? That's how I'd interpret that.

OP is this the first time he’s made zero effort? I’d wager ‘no’

Where has it been stated that she’s asking him to prioritise her over his child?

He’s not picking up his child until tomorrow

OP you have struck mud here and triggered the mumsnet bat-shit signal where most posters will rush to explain to you that every woman is an island, alone to herself, and that she should need/want/expect nothing from her bf at all. He has better things to do than (ugh) nurture or care for her. The most you can hope for is a quick shag and the odd text.

If you can post on here you can use Deliveroo surely?

Sounds very dramatic. You're not seriously ill, you're getting over a cold.
Surely you can cook something? Or order a takeaway?
Sounds like you don't think he should have his kid extra this weekend? Because you'd rather he looked after you?
Don't see he's done anything wrong.

Why do you need looking after?
Presumably with your cold, you've not needed surgery or similar?
Most people continue working, do the school run, walk their dogs etc with a cold, so I do think you're being unreasonable.
You're a grown adult. Order a takeaway (even pubs do them now so you could get a comforting sausage and mash), order a shop delivery or quickly nip to the shop if you have nothing in.
You have options!

As a father, he needs to put his child first, especially after a breakup (divorce or family split ups are traumatic for children, they need extra care and time with each parent to help them adjust).

Be careful not to come between him and his child. It's not about his ex wife's party, it's about not making his son feel unwanted. Not bouncing child back and forth because neither wants to parent that weekend. How would child feel if mum didn't want him because she has a party, and dad won't have him because his new girlfriend's under the weather.

If you stay with him, accept his children's needs are more important than yours. Even if you're married and have kids together, your child won't 'replace' his first son or keep your stepson away.

Sorry you're feeling drained and ill. It's hard when you don't have a supportive spouse or family around to help. But I think you're being unreasonable and self centred to expect him to prioritze you over his child.

Only tricky factor is we have a business together and I’m reliant on him for that. If I end it, he will likely walk away and I’ll be screwed

^^ That is your problem. In fact it's a fucking HUGE problem and probably why you are deflecting your worry onto him not feeding/caring for you. Concentrate on getting out of this dynamic and being less financially reliant on anyone else in future.

I really don't think this is about food, it's easy enough to get a takeaway. Op just wants some TLC from her partner. I bet he wasn't this uncaring when you first started dating.

YABU. You are under the weather not dying. He has explained his reasons for not coming which seem pretty reasonable.

How long have you been together? How long has the business been running for and what is it? Do you have an arrangement as equal partners for it?

So you are too ill to cook?
But clearly you are well enough to use the internet. Order on JustEat or something and give the guy a break!

unless this is a final straw type scenario and he is always a useless, inconsiderate dick , the yabvu

You don’t live together, driving half an hour each way after work on a Friday just to bring you food that you could order is a bit much. Hes busy in the morning and presumably doesn’t want to stay over due to that.

This wouldn’t bother me unless I was extremely ill. Order a takeaway, make a sandwich, eat some cereal – whatever gets you through. An hour is a long round trip for someone with his hands full.

Agree. It’s like no one on MN has heard of Deliveroo or JustEat and they’ll starve to death if their bf doesn’t come running to mop their fevered brow.

If you get involved with a partner with DC, you have to accept that the kids will come first.

I think you’re being over dramatic tbh

So you're a bit virally- have hay fever and can't cook yourself some food?
Wow.

You're not pregnant nor seriously ill. You're at the tail end of a cold with some hay fever, that's not pleasant I'm sure but you want him to drop everything, mop your brow and bring you dinner?

I think that saying, ‘when he shows you who he is, believe him’, is so apparent here You don't think he could think the same, that you're pissed off with him for doing nothing wrong? That this is how needy you are?

we have a business together and I’m reliant on him for that. If I end it, he will likely walk away and I’ll be screwed

It's never a good idea to be dependent on a man without a marriage contract. Can you look into getting a different job?