To think maternity leave is supposed to be enjoyable?

I’m at 8.5 months and my sleep is still the same as yours, the regressions are awful - be prepared.

I love mat leave but I have made some great mum friends and we go to lunch / coffee / gossip. It’s been a blast.

i think the newborn stage is sold as amazing, fufilling and wonderful. I'm sure it for some mothers.

But, also for lots of mum's its exhausting, boring, hard and it should be okay to say that, one person finding it awful, doesn't negate those who love it.

Feeling these also doesn't mean you don't love you daughter, and anyone who implies, suggests, states that it does is wrong.

Actually i am social and active and i found the five months of my son's life really hard, but once he gir six months I lvoed it he could do more and we interacted more!

hope that helps!

If you can have help ask for it my mum used to come round in the morning so I could go back to bed to catch up on sleep. It's makes the world of difference.

@Newmumhere40enjoy the good bits… plough through the bad but don’t bottle up your feelings. Vent if you need to.
this state will pass & then once you hit the imaginary play phase, you really will starting questioning your life choices 😂

I think society gives quite a romanticised view of motherhood which doesn’t live up to the reality and this makes the reality harder to stomach.

i think the reality is most people struggle for the first 9 months with the monumental adjustment. Things maybe start to get better 9-12 months in - but then, if you’re just off on maternity, you’ve got to readjust back to work.

I think it leaves a lot of mothers feeling resentful that they haven’t had a “break” to actually enjoy their baby.

Wtf??? She was telling it to me as a joke!!! She was laughing because she thought she’d have so much spare time because it would be so easy! We were laughing because we both learned how reality isn’t as easy as our expectations.

Arhhh in which case. As you are!!

I think the poster's friend was laughing at herself?

Absolutely normal to feel this way. You'll have good and bad days. My baby is 6 weeks and what I have found is if I accept that I'm going to stay in PJs and just enjoy her and read, nap etc I have a lovely calm day. If I try to get ready, do chores, go shopping etc I get stressed, then feel bad for not enjoying her.

It's a stage in our babies life we can't ever get back so that's why they say enjoy it. I love creating our own routine and getting in the floor with her at 'playtime' seeing how her little face is changing and she's reacting to stimulation, sounds and my face.

My advice (fourth child) is try to break the day up into stages. Create a doable routine and be kind to yourself.

You got this mama 💕

I had that, it was anxiety that I wouldn't be able to cope later on if I got too much help and that people would judge me for not being able to handle it on my own. I think the 'mothers sacrifice' is too glorified but that's my opinion.

Laughing at someone who has ambitions to get stuff done during maternity leave is a bit spiteful. I ran my own business with staff and took 1 week after both of my babies, It was a necessity but if someone wants or needs to juggle they really can. We are all different.

My mat leave was one of the best times of my life. But my baby was happy, chilled and slept through from 12 weeks. I also had good mental health and little stress. I had much lower expectations as everyone had said how hard it was but I actually found it much easier than being at work.
everybody’s different though.

People don't like it but the only way I could function was to put baby in a routine (not using cry it out by the way). You crack sleeping and feeding and then the world opens up. And you get a few months of ease before you have a toddler 😁

I really feel for you OP. I had a generally easy baby, slept well, I was out socialising with other mums a lot and had plenty of family support. Yet it was still the hardest and darkest time of my life and I developed severe PND for which I needed hospitalised for. It's not a period of my life I remember fondly and I think society and social media can paint a picture that's it's meant to be the happiest time of your life.

I went back to work full time at 10 months and it was from there things took a turn for the better. Things felt a million times easier and more enjoyable and I've never been back to that dark place again. I have a fantastic bond with my son now and he's very securely attached to me.

Yeah nah. I didn’t really enjoy either maternity leave. I found it bearable by doing lots of baby classes so I could at least speak to people every day and have some structure. And if you’re lucky some will want to go for coffee and cake after. It gets a bit easier when they are about 9months I found and about to go back to work!

I am adding, fighting with the pram and not knowing who I was anymore.

I was pregnant at the same time as a few friends and we were in two camps- the ones thought it was all going to be blissful, fulfilled motherhood, drifting around in linen dresses whilst baby peacefully slept at the breast, and those who were bracing for impact. Unfortunately, the PPD and fatigue hit the first group much harder as they just weren't ready for how gruelling it is. It wasn't their fault; we are bombarded by images of serene, happy mothers and serene, happy babies wherever we look and unless you have a lot of experience with children you wouldn't know that children and babies are awkward, inconvenient and egotistical most of the time.

Maternity leave has moments of being enjoyable, but it's not a holiday. You get that time because you need it, because having a newborn baby is absolutely exhausting, and messy, and really hard work.

If you're miserable all the time, seek medical support, but if it's just not what you expected then remember it is just a season. It does get easier, much easier, but you will forget how hard it was and get nostalgic for tiny baby toes and sleepy 3am snuggles. The days go slow but the years go fast and suddenly they'll be off to school. Try to enjoy the bits that you can, they don't last long.

My maternity leaves were some of the worst periods of my life tbh.

I think the image people generally have is chilled out walks with sleepy babes but that's all we see because everyone's stuck at home otherwise. My leave just started getting good about 3 weeks before I'm going back to work lol. I've taken 6 months so I think if you take longer it probably gets better later on. Don't feel bad about feeling bad.

YANBU to feel like that but I do think they were slightly unrealistic expectations.

Im on my last 4 weeks of maternity leave and DD is 7 months, most of which has been extremely hard. So far my leave hasnt been fun at all, I've had 2 very close family deaths aswell as illnesses. Im also a lone parent. Mostly I've spent my time finding a routine of normality. DD had her nursery inductions this week and they asked me loads of questions about outdoor play, and I just felt guilty because we've not really had the capacity or time to do any of that yet and it sounded like we should have been doing this. So now that we are heading into our new normal and the weather is nicer we can incorporate more fun and enjoyment but i no longer will have the leave on my side.