To think maternity leave is supposed to be enjoyable?

I hit a bit of a wall at this stage of mat leave - I think because to begin with there is all the people visiting and excitement and then at around 3 months, you're just very tired if your baby doesn't sleep and your baby isn't really giving anything back at that point

For me, it got almost immediately better once my baby was smiling and laughing at me and then got better still when we sleep trained at 6m.

Other things that helped me

• putting baby in a sling and going out for a walk and listening to a podcast
• going to bed really really early - like 7:30 with the baby at times
• socialising, even if just a coffee at the weekend with a friend while DH walked the baby in the pram

I found it that boring and depressing that I went back to work 2 days a week when DC was 3 months old (and DH had 2 days off to look after the baby). I found that the perfect compromise. And then met up with other mums on my days off.

It's not that you are unreasonable to want things to be nicer, but you are certainly being unrealistic. Being the mum of a newborn is really hard work, almost always exhausting, sometimes terrifying, often overwhelming. Of course there will be times of absolute joy but you aren't being awarded a 9-12 month "paid holiday" here, you are temporarily released from paid-employment work because the work you are needed for at home is too much to even try to balance with a job right now. If you are getting 5-6 hrs sleep in 24 (however broken) you are doing brilliantly, many new mums get less.

Yes it does get easier. It also gets harder in different ways, it's always going to be hard work but it does get to a point where the wotk feels manageable and some of it can be outsourced/delegated and you can start to find a balance you are happy with. You will be ok.

Looking after a small baby is tough! Can you go to bed earlier to get more sleep? I agree with @MoltenLasagne that meeting other mums was important for me - look into baby classes in your area.

But also I think you may need to adjust your expectations a bit.

I’m not sure it’s ’supposed’ to be enjoyable particular. It’s not a holiday after all! It’s hard work and it’s just life, some bits will be enjoyable, other bits will be rubbish. Each stage of babyhood has its own good and bad stuff.

Are you not able to sleep during day? Can your partner help you get more sleep? Some of it is probably sleep deprivation. I’d look at changing things around so you’re able to get more sleep sometimes, even if it means you go to bed early evening for a few hours. It’s not forever!

It's for recovery and to look after the baby.

I found some bits enjoyable too though. I had some baby group friends and we did a few things together. I found it easier when my baby weaned and slept a bit more.

Lack of sleep is very hard.

The thing that made it fun for me was taking baby out and spending time with other mums in a similar situation.

I would say I’m enjoying it now at 8 months and probably have been for a while. But you need friends (and more money than you get from maternity pay!) to do so in my opinion! We get out to a class or a coffee shop or both with friends and their babies everyday. I’m never at home.

It’s life changing and a special time but it’s exhausting yes and how you’ve described sounds perfectly normal and what I’d expect.

can you get some more rest? And maybe make sure to chat about how you are feeling to friends or family? Do you have any other new mums you can speak too?

Most of the time is hard work not enjoyable.

Yanbu to feel like this - being a new parent is a complete culture shock and the sleep deprivation is another level.

I found it started getting better when I made some other mum friends at classes and would join them for walks around the park so it wasnt just me and baby all day. Also I think I just wasn't very good at the tiny baby stage and found it easier as they got older.

I think maternity leave is meant to be to recover from childbirth and also to look after the baby. I have never heard anyone say it's "enjoyable" - or supposed to be!

It sounds as though your expectations were a bit unrealistic. Having a newborn is life changing and often underestimated.
How much support do you have?