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Original poster

Would this bother you? Am I being an Uber protective drama Queen?

87 replies

Yaea · 04/04/2025 08:16

Edited to say the title should be ‘over protective’ not uber!

We have a just turned two year old. I have an extremely small car which is used infrequently as I don’t need it for work. DP’s car is the ‘family car.’ It’s now very old and in the last few weeks it’s had countless problems. One time it had a light come on and we had to call out the AA as it said stop driving. The advice was not to drive it and take it to garage immediately. This issue was then fixed and now the car is back on the road having done almost 100,000 miles and is 14 years old.

We have a few trips booked coming up and DP keeps saying he will change the car and it doesn’t happen. This is not a financial issue, the money is there to get a car straight away. He obviously wants to consider which one etc and he takes forever to make a decision.

We have a trip in Devon coming up and I am reluctant to use the car as it’s a 400 mile drive each way. We can’t use mine as it’s tiny, no room for luggage.

DP says I’m being totally unreasonable expecting him to sort the car within 3 weeks (when we are due to go) and says it’s a waste to get a hire car and that his car will likely be fine. I feel like we are putting dd in danger. Am I being over the top?

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 04/04/2025 08:25

We had a car breakdown on holiday once and it was a total ballache to sort out, plus the stress of wondering whether it would do it again on the hundreds of miles journey home. DH had been ignoring a warning light for weeks as it was only orange not red so "not that big a deal". 🙄 Yours needs to get him thumb out his arse and sort it because believe me you don't want to be in that same situation.

FairlyTired · 04/04/2025 08:24

Has it had a service done recently? If he doesn't want to pick a car within 3 weeks then he could pay for that as an alternative. But 3 weeks seems long enough, even if you give him a few hours at the weekend to research and then go look at them.

Pashazade · 04/04/2025 08:24

Unless the garage has told you it’s a death trap and it failed it’s MOT it’s probably fine, older cars can have wonky periods, then nothing goes funny for months. Mine has done 140,000 and is 17 years old, drove to Devon and back last year and plan to do that again plus the Lake District twice (six hours each way) this year. So if it’s been repaired and all seems good then it should be fine. I wouldn’t like to pick a new car in a hurry, if I really didn’t have too.

AndSoFinally · 04/04/2025 08:23

Or just hire a car for the trip?

FOJN · 04/04/2025 08:23

Why don't you get rid of your car and replace it with the new family car?

Your husband is being useless but the issue with the current car is fixed so I'm not sure why you think driving it will put your child in danger. "Don't drive" notifications can come up to protect the car and are not necessarily about road worthiness.

AndSoFinally · 04/04/2025 08:23

Buy a roof box for yours to use for the trip so you've got more thinking time?

Original poster
Yaea · 04/04/2025 08:23

Youaremythtaken · 04/04/2025 08:21

I think saying you are putting DD in danger is a bit over the top. However you are right to want it sorted or hire a car. A breakdown with a 2 year old would be pretty hideous!

@Youaremythtaken he is saying if that happened he would have to get a hire car sorted there and then etc but I’ve explained that would take hours and we could be stranded. Just making me feel quite stressed about the trip

OP posts:
Original poster
Yaea · 04/04/2025 08:22

MellowPinkDeer · 04/04/2025 08:20

Why can’t you just buy the family car, if the family has money I have no idea why you’re waiting for him to do it. Just do it yourself!

@MellowPinkDeer i have no interest in cars and wouldn’t just buy one without his involvement.

OP posts:
Youaremythtaken · 04/04/2025 08:21

I think saying you are putting DD in danger is a bit over the top. However you are right to want it sorted or hire a car. A breakdown with a 2 year old would be pretty hideous!

MellowPinkDeer · 04/04/2025 08:20

Why can’t you just buy the family car, if the family has money I have no idea why you’re waiting for him to do it. Just do it yourself!

Original poster
Yaea · 04/04/2025 08:20

Randomer27 · 04/04/2025 08:18

You are being a bit over the top, but your DP is also being a useless shit, any idiot could buy a car in 3 weeks- but actually so could you, or at least do the mental load of it (I know, I know!)

@Randomer27 he’s saying alongside work he can’t look properly immediately and needs longer to look into it (ie beyond this first trip we have to Devon)

OP posts:
Randomer27 · 04/04/2025 08:18

You are being a bit over the top, but your DP is also being a useless shit, any idiot could buy a car in 3 weeks- but actually so could you, or at least do the mental load of it (I know, I know!)

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